How to properly defend against fraudsters in troubled times
'19.08.2020'
When especially troubled times come, and they always come periodically, the masters of the original genre are activated among the people. They are trying in various ways to take away our hard-earned money, although there is nothing to blame them for. This is their profession, and they also need to feed the children and feed the cow.
And since they can’t do anything else, therefore, as they used to say in my hometown, who studied what ...
So that's it. The fact that they want to take a bite of someone else's pie does not mean that each of us should provide them with ours. Therefore, be careful.
I remember that twenty years ago I received a beautifully sealed official letter from the padishah Romualdych, the third from the white shores of the wild naked monkeys Hu-Hu, the third palm tree from the left. I'm not kidding, although the names have been slightly changed so as not to reveal addresses, passwords and accounts. In the message, with the lowest request to help transfer 80 million North American money to America, with the promise of a 20 percent commission for the service, the personal secretary of the Chief Baboon Tailless addressed me. At that moment I had a lull in business and I decided to have some fun. Copies of the letters of course have not survived, and they were written in semi-official English. But I will pass on the general idea to you from memory and will try not to disgrace myself in my native Russian. I hope everyone will understand and no one will be offended.
I wrote to Romych (I immediately called him that in Korefan in order to somehow get closer) that I am very glad of his financial success, although I am rather saddened by the unexpected difficulties with the transfer of funds. Yes, I almost forgot. He had only 119 billion of them, with a penny. And he said that if the first tranche goes through successfully, then we will gradually drag out the rest, as he plans to move entirely to the States in order to deservedly decorate them with his regal person. Naturally, for the transfer he needed the details of my bank and much more, since the transfer is significant and other all kinds of blah blah blah ...
I write to him that I myself, thank God, was not made with a finger (judging by my mother's stories), and I am the personal and only representative of the third Ibn Hottab, known to all the Celestial Empire, whose family originates from hairy monkeys brought to earth by his wisdom, Tuftagon the Great, living on the star Crazy wool, building six, in the constellation Malakhovka, around the corner from Petryukhino-Pavlova seven, apartment nineteen, dial ninety-three sevens on the intercom, and pass tests directly into it for immediate identification and other ... action.
I also inform you that we live well, for which special thanks to everyone. As a result of the right investments, we managed to get our hands on 260 thousand and another 14 drilling and durov wells over the past four centuries, thanks to which we drill, make a fool and therefore live comfortably, albeit at the bottom of the world's North Poisonous Ocean. But we have a spacious bunker there, four and a half million square kilometers with gardens, parks, stadiums, takeoff sites, restaurants, terrariums, serpentariums and aquariums. There is a lot of space, and we will be very happy if they come to visit us with all the purest evil spirits, regardless of the size of the accompanying retinue. I warned them, however, that the first 129 kilometers of diving to our first transshipment base is their business, and there we will happily meet and take them to our main bunker, which is 407 kilometers below the bottom level. Then I said that, fortunately, we have not been interested in the accumulation of material wealth for a long time, since we will not understand what to do with our already accumulated ones. But we have, they say, a lot of other interests, and we will be infinitely grateful and generously reward with rubies, emeralds, diamonds, TNT sticks and chess, sandwiches with vegetarian ham, chocolate lard, Zykina's LPs in unlimited quantities, and if necessary - with money - everyone who can satisfy any of them. Next came a list of subjects of interest to us. The list was long, I will indicate only a few items.
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A herd of white flying elephants, no less than two hundred. Striped, green, giant, 90-meter Gargantua-Ponta-Gruel butterflies, in any quantity. A harem of earthly three-eyed girls, no less than fifteen hundred eyes. It is possible without the girls. TNT gasoline fines with a XNUMX-gauge utility. You only need the third number from the seventh corner ... and so on ...
In a word, I had a complete break there. I think the recipients were reading by the whole department, lying on the floor, as they were shaking with a good mood. Although - they might not even smile, since this is not their job - to have fun, but their work - strictly mathematical - to take away and divide, and I did not offer them anything like that in my letter.
Well, seriously, be extremely careful. Too many of my smart, educated and cleverly-read even friends have done stupid things in recent years precisely because they thought they were all of the above. Initial data - you are behind enemy lines, and every call, every letter, every text, every e-mail can turn out to be bullshit, forgery and a trap. Even a call or letter from a known addressee.
Today masters can contrive and call you even from your own phone number. Therefore, I personally never pick up the phone at all, if I do not see who is calling. And if I find out the name, I take it, but I try to make sure that this is the person he or she claims to be. Moreover, I take only personal numbers. If they call from a company that I even know, I don't pick up the phone. If they want to tell you what, they will leave a message. Then I'll listen and decide what to do next. Not left once - I immediately block the number. You might think that this is too strict or even silly. You have every right to think so. But - as a result, pah-pah-pah, so as not to jinx it, until not one spy crawled. The armor, as it is, is strong, despite the speed of the tanks ...
So what am I talking about, my friends?
Wherever you live, and whatever you do, remember that in connection with the development of means of catching cheaters and gansters of various kinds and brands, their number has increased many times, and the skill of taking money from the people has also increased greatly. And although what I am talking about is by no means news to all readers, the danger is that we consider ourselves smart, and they, potential bandits and kidnappers, are stupid, uneducated, living in countries of the third, fourth and fifth worlds and in general unworthy of our highest attention and indulgence.
As a result of this unforgivable arrogance, billions of dollars, pounds, yen, tugriks, bunnies, chanterelles, polar foxes and rubles annually flow smoothly from our leaky pockets into the bins of the stupid and uneducated. They sit at phones and tablets in all cities and towns and look for suckers. And my appeal is not to be suckers, that is, those who consider themselves smarter. Let's just be smarter and not give in.
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And I will not even talk about the fact that you can not give ANY information about yourself to anyone and never, even if they call you from your bank, from the house-professional-lived-industrial union or personally from the President of Antarctica. They should know everything about you, if you have business with them. And if you need to clarify, let them send a letter. If they do not want to, or rush, press, scare, insist, send them. Send, that is, to a known address. Immediately. Far away and unconditionally. I do it myself and advise everyone.
Good luck in the fight against the vigilant. Yes, and you, my friends, should not be ill and do not doze. What I sincerely wish all readers and admirers.
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