Who is from Mars, and who is from Venus?
'18.07.2017'
An incredible number of manuals and works have been written on the topic of men's misunderstanding of women - and vice versa. And any discussion on this topic, if any, becomes an ice battle, although outwardly it may not look like that, argues Sergey Evelev.
But do we really not understand each other and never understand, or is it just a popular idea, on which the whole institutions feed and feed on sucking?
You decide. I just want to focus on a couple of aspects.
After all, from childhood we have been poured into our blood with the idea that each of us is an actor and should equally well learn to play any role appropriate to the situation. The better you act, the more powerful the candy. The luckiest ones are Hollywood, the rest - the hope of getting there in the future and an even present.
Doubt about roles? Let's get a look. At home with mom one role, and with dad already another. New with grandparents. Visiting - a completely different person. Don't pick your nose, don't blow your nose in curtains, don't take someone else's, especially silver spoons, and don't hide in your pockets. At school - a new role, and on the street, playing football, doctor, or Cossack robbers, there is also a direction of movement. We go further. It is during childhood that we learn how to approach everyone for benefits, sandwich, pizza, candy, movies, gifts and everything that makes up a baby's life. Boys are taught to be strong, strong, enduring, patient. Do not whimper (hide in yourself, even if you want to). And girls - soft, compliant, kind, gentle, quivering, cutesy. The movies show how it looks and how to knock on everyone. At the same time, girls are often born powerful, sharp, aspiring, aimed, sharpened, and they are born with daughters and mothers and gentle snot in pink bows. And the boys are often not macho-shaped at all from their parents, and they - respectively, conquer Everests and Schwarz-Negers pumped up. And what do we get in such an even simple and primitive example? And it turns out that each of us from infancy finds himself in an incredibly conflicting world with himself. It is impossible to understand who you are, how and with whom to behave, what to implement and how to understand, does it make sense to implement anything at all? The system has been created and it adjusts you for itself, pushing you into a cell where a place has already been prepared for you. And then there is the opposite sex, not at all like you (most often) and somehow you need to interact with him, and, more often than not, not like the body (who, apparently, is stupid and does not know how to do it) prompts you. Millions of years of evolution suggest where to poke, what to touch, where to throw a stone or a textbook at least, but the system says: you can't! Since you are no longer five or even six-canthrop and therefore behave with dignity. Decent is like, I want to ask, but there is no one to ask, since everyone around also behaves with dignity, like you, and therefore they struggle with the desire to do what cannot be done. Shout, growl, burp, scratch, sleep, overtake, say in the face what you see, criticize for something badly done, stuff for deception, filth, meanness, forgery, theft and other dirty tricks. But the system says that it is impossible, since it is uncivilized, and, they say, since we took control of ourselves, we will figure it out. So they figure it out. You can look at what is happening in the world in order to evaluate the results of their activities and give them an appropriate assessment. But this can not be done either, because democracy is on the street - and therefore they can sweep it. Immediately or gradually, depending on the power of the wave you are driving and the country of excitement.
And here they say that women with men can hardly come to an agreement, since they are from a different test. Yes, they, in my opinion, are women, that is, they can hardly agree among themselves. And the famous female solidarity, which does not exist, continues to cover everyone with a poorly transparent veil, without actually covering anything. Yes, they can go to the toilet or to a disco arm in arm, two or even three of them. They can cry to each other in a vest, which men most often will not do. But they will tell each other and “face the truth” about the face, figure, weight, unsuccessful children, husbands walking to the side, and many other things, which men, more often than not, will not do either. And I do not take the side of one or the other, I just share some observations. Over the years, I managed to collect them in unlimited quantities, so I share. And what about men and men, and can they agree? I do not know. They can fight each other to the death. Blow up, destroy, undermine - they can. Exactly this. Negotiating something is more difficult. They are trying. From different parties, charters, countries, organizations. So far it’s bad. And therefore - war, hunger, devastation, littering the planet, the absence of democracy in the form in which it, as a utopian idea, stretches from ancient Greece. The power of the people means this utopia. And where is the power of the people? I looked at the globe and did not find it. Maybe you took the wrong globe?
Here you go.
And therefore, I think that this idea - about the impossibility of men and women to communicate, to understand each other and to come to an agreement someday - like many other things, invented by political and other technologists for “feeding the population”, is in fact complete nonsense. Everyone can agree with everyone, and the beginning of this world treaty (as opposed to a conspiracy) begins with the ability to come to an agreement with oneself. As soon as you ask yourself all the questions and you are satisfied with all the answers, you can go to talk with others in the hope that you will find a lot in common and want peace, even bad, which, as we remember, is better than a good war. But someone does not really need it for everyone to agree, and therefore the works about the impossibility of representatives of different races, religions, sexes and inclinations to agree, gather dust, standing on the shelves of useless libraries, where almost no one goes, because there is no time for that. But I hope that the day will come, it seems, not during my life, when everyone will agree. I cannot imagine how this world will look, but I would very much like to have at least one eye and look at this utopia. As it will be? When? And how can this be brought closer by my modest means? The heads of some comrades are busy with these and other global issues, from which they do not sleep at night, they are distinguished by pallor, swelling in the knees and other places around the perimeter, as well as the acrimony of the whole body and, in addition, poor appetite.
And you, readers, and readers, do not become so. Sleep well Eat in pleasure, travel for joy and live in peace.
