Psychologists say to be friends with the former is a sign of mental disorder
'03.07.2017'
ForumDaily Woman
If you are still friends with the former, then psychologists will surprise you with what it can mean.
Almost every one of us at least once in my life has heard suggestions about a former partner in the relationship - “Let's remain friends.”
Sometimes this meant that the relationship had been exhausted and it was time for you to move in different directions. And such a way of parting for some reason is considered more humane. It happens in a different way. The couple is connected by common interests, hobbies, friends and even work, but they no longer want to live and sleep together. Therefore, choose the option of friendship.
But scientists from Auckland and Oklahoma are seriously concerned about this issue and came to a very ambiguous conclusion. It turns out that there is a direct connection between such traits as narcissism and psychopathy, and the desire of a person to maintain friendly relations with his former partners.
That is, those who continue to be friends with their ex - daffodils and psychopaths.
The aim of the study was to find in the respondents a link between the perception of their own "I" in behavioral tactics and the form of relations with past partners. And it turned out that all these calls to the fact that even after the break it was necessary to remain people and be friends as if nothing had happened, for respondents had a very clear strategic goal with selfish motivation - to increase their own self-esteem, to demonstrate themselves above others, while not showing sincere interest or empathy towards others.
And the real reason for wanting to remain on friendly terms with the former lies not in psychological or spiritual feelings for their ex-partner, but in the fact that they want to use it for their own selfish purposes or even manipulate them.
"Such friendships, after the relationship ends, functionally remain the same to the extent that they allow the continued exchange of desired resources," the study says.
Daffodils cling to a departed relationship because they hate the feeling of being abandoned. They do not want to feel that they have lost something. Keeping a person in their environment, they seem to replay the separation and wait for the right moment to avenge the offense.
For example, some respondents, for example, suggested that they were friends with their ex only to make sure that they themselves were a great couple and that their ex-partner still secretly admired them (and maybe even in the depths of their hearts) and regrets the break).
Others expressed other versions that could also be attributed to a certain category of scientists called "Practical and sexual motives." In other words, daffodils did not just keep in touch with their former partners, but in order to use these relationships in the future, play another game on the once strong emotional ties or at least establish themselves in the idea that they, daffodils, are just perfect partners like during novel, and after its completion.
Psychopaths have another problem. They, however, like daffodils, can not stand the thought that their former or former may be with another person. Therefore, they do not let go of their ex-passions in order to maintain the ability to control, and often manipulate, their lives.
Situations, of course, are different. And if two fully formed and mature people separated according to mutual desire and maintained friendly relations, this is not a sign of psychopathy. Still, psychologists recommend breaking off all kinds of relationships with former partners after breaking up. This will save both your mental health and your former partner.
