Why is it difficult for us to meet a man who is shorter

Many women suffer from the flaws in their appearance. But tell that to the short guys! They were the ones who suffered because of the rejection of the girls: "You are good, but! .."

Psychologist-publicist Elena Loseva lists what makes us doubt the success of a relationship if a man does not come out tall, writes Lady.mail.ru.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism makes the majority of men reject already at the first stage of evaluating their appearance. Passive search drags on for years, when we are first looking not for a like-minded person or a reliable half, but for an outwardly suitable person. And almost the first comment in this regard is: "He must definitely be higher than me!"

Who should be - is not specified; no one has identified specific inconveniences that will arise with a difference in height in favor of a woman in a pair. That is, you refuse a relationship not because of centimeters, but because of an empty, in fact, installation.

Dangerous moment! In this case, treacherous perfectionism can be crushed only by the ability to think logically and ... empirically.

What happens if you start dating a guy you like, who is shorter? It may very well be that gradually its growth will be perceived as normal. You will also be surprised: why does it all around now seem to be bigots? It's simple: your perfectionism has adapted to the situation. Now the ideal is near, just turn your head (but don't turn it up - it's inconvenient!), And everyone else is out of the blue.

Dependence on the opinions of others

Imagine how you bring to meet a company and a family of a chosen one who is shorter than yourself and ... internally shrink from horror? Wow! It turns out that you can step on the throat of your own song because of (even if it has not sounded yet!) The thoughtless word of close people. But why? With this, of course, you need to understand.

A couple with a difference in height will certainly attract more attention. But the first thing that people feel when they see such a tandem is not a negative, but just a surprise, an interest.

And even though the first reaction is the most involuntary (many people equate it with “honest”), it’s also the most easily changed.

Yes, they will most likely talk about you. But if the relationship you are demonstrating turns out to be a cut above the rest, the stories about how tall Masha and stocky Kolya live in perfect harmony will very soon acquire a romantically admiring color. It's nice. That is, a non-standard difference in height will work in favor of the pair, and not against it.

Dissatisfaction with one's own appearance

Oh, those own "extra" centimeters and kilograms! If they stubbornly shout about themselves from the mirror, they look for a taller and bigger man as an accessory that will hide their "flaws". Indeed, against the background of this, any will automatically become Thumbelina.

First, it will not. Secondly, choosing a life partner as a “background” is a losing strategy. Hear the alarm bell: obsession with your own appearance prevents you from seeing more important perspectives of living together. Anyway, start it.

These are complexes due to their own appearance, and not the small stature of a man who shows interest in you, prevent you from developing in terms of personal happiness. And they are eliminated thanks to the admiration of another person. And if someone like that appeared next to you, try to concentrate not on how “down” you look at him, but how he “highlights” your best sides with his gaze!

Uncertainty about a man

Of course, a man should look so as to scare a saber-toothed tiger if he suddenly makes a mistake with a cave: a lump! Power! This image, alas, is rarely associated with a short guy. As, incidentally, with what a modern woman says about a potential chosen one: “To understand, be able to listen and hear, show sympathy for my problems,” and so on and so forth. But it is precisely small men, due to their complexion, from childhood who are inclined to the ability to negotiate and do not consider diplomacy to be something unworthy.

In addition, in everyday life, they do not miss the chance to demonstrate their masculinity and real strength: they often notice that a lady "will not pull" a heavy bag and may suffer from a crookedly hanging chandelier - and promptly intervene in the situation.

Until we were trampled by tall men for this song of praise, we will make a reservation that in the +/- 160 cm category, you can run into an aggressor who takes out his anger for his non-standard growth on the weaker one. But the symptoms of painful self-doubt will almost certainly appear even at the stage of courtship, so let's not talk about sad things, but concentrate on the good.

What if you are taller than a man

Nothing. Nothing at all! And let the magazines give at least a million pieces of advice about striped clothing in the right direction, photo tricks on the steps and other nonsense that reinforces the social position “the man below is wrong”.

Let's dress as we like and pose together in pictures for ourselves and not for others.

And to questions from "classic" couples, where a woman is shorter than a man, like "You have such a difference in height, does it bother you?" - respond provocatively and unexpectedly:

- So you have a tangible difference ... Share, bothers you?

And let the one who raised the topic blow off, since I want to talk about it so much!

Follow success stories, tips, and more by subscribing to Woman.ForumDaily on Facebook, and don't miss the main thing in our mailing list