The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Grooms are gone: why in Moscow there is no one else to marry

'26.06.2018'

Source: Tatler

The authoritative critic of the Moscow grooms, Junia Pugacheva, explains why they are not heroes, but she is not married.

Фото: Depositphotos

Almost ten years ago, for the first time, I had the honorable mission to compose for Tatler rating of the most desirable suitors. Everyone was jealous around: here's Kisa for you, but Garber, do you want to shoot with one it boy, you want with another ... And you are no more burdensome expectations and tiresome preludes: you take and invite the object of someone's dreams to a date. Journalists call it an “interview,” but tell me the difference.

The bachelors of the time broke down and were important, but in reality it was just flirtatious. The fact that the enviable suitors at the official level chose him, and not some classmate for Le roseya neighbor in a dacha in Sardinia or a business rival consoles men's self-esteem - like a boat that is longer than that of a friend. After meeting with the next “most-most” editorial board, I was given an interrogation with passion: “Well, how? Did you meet the prince? ” I shrugged, confused: "Yes, no way." From the princes, most had only a crown on their heads. And over the years, my colleagues stopped asking. Annual ratings have multiplied, and with them my disappointments. This one is a sissy, this one is clearly diagnosed, the third one is a party-goer. The fourth - in search of a man himself, but pretends that he meets with the actress, otherwise the country will not understand and will not forgive.

Then the situation worsened. Hit the crisis. The heirs are no longer heirs. And permanent residents Forbes - not Sassicaia, time did not go to their advantage. They repeatedly entered into marriage, and very few people, by their behavior in him personally, confirmed for me the status of a truly enviable candidate for the next hand.

And I still think: why so? What spoils the Moscow groom?

Yes, the laws of the market just work. In the minds of most girls, the installation still reigns sooner to get married, and for the sake of marriage they are ready for anything and not only. They all these years were engaged in dumping. Spoiled and corrupted the already lazy bachelors to such an extent that they stopped even trying to win over there. The men acted cartel: spending on women a little, prices will not allow. Meanwhile, women fought for life and death, if only during the holiday season they did not fall into the category of “dishwashers” - this was the time when they humiliatingly named failures that they drank an aperol in Moscow instead of somewhere on Cape Antibes . I have witnessed a frank fall in social norms. Cheating, second families, binges, idiotic jokes, idleness - everything was forgiven and accepted, if only the cherished status of “married” was preserved, which some generally proudly registered in an instagram hat. The men were even more impudent about this, and their ego swelled in proportion to the massively made lips and busts of Teplyashin’s clients. What was happening only confirmed Avdotya Smirnova’s thesis that in the world of secular girls everything is subordinated to one man’s place. Many were really ready to put their lives on dancing around this subject in the hope of raising, say, the level of testosterone in subsequent relationships.

Rare men who have retained their sanity in the conditions of the harem system, also became victims of circumstances. They honestly tried, but to identify among the crowds of girls, scratching the ring finger, at least one decent was a difficult task.

Many secular marriages are built rapidly, as cheap scenery, clinging with a creak, and then collapse with a crash. Due to the fact that they are based not on love for a person whose drawbacks you can accept, but on manipulation schemes. Schemes are taught books, trainings and experienced girlfriends. “Do not call me first”, “he needs, let him do it”, “do not answer right away, you need to torture”, “no gift on the third date - block”, “be mysterious”, “order from the menu only what you can chew nicely ". And this is a small part of bad advice.

Фото: Depositphotos

What comes out in practice? Predictable frustration on both sides.

Fantasy and skill in manipulation sooner or later end. Fictional connections (“I love art!”, “This is my favorite director!”) Are getting thinner - and my husband is horrified that his Tsarevna Lebed is following the participants at the Venice Biennale, and the show “Bachelor” with Yegor Creed in the lead role.

However, girls who did not cause embarrassment for my belonging to the female race also came across pretty often. By heart they quoted not the Pushkin menu, but Ovid's Metamorphosis. Earned not by body, but by deed. But they could not find gold in the Moscow sand. Beautiful, intelligent, talented, decent, independent - before such I descended into a deep moral curtsy. But, alas, they were free from relationships. Why alone? A humiliating question that was asked to me: “Why are you not married?” In response, I always wanted to say: “Why are you married ... to him?”.

No one made me want to say "I agree." I still associate the word “marriage” with the wrongly-cut skirt rather than with a strong and eternal one. Examples of matrimonial unions — with rare exceptions — did not inspire me at all. Although, I will not hide, I always wanted a party in a white dress and invitations with a calligraphic hand.

“And what about children?”, You ask. I love them. I would have given birth a long time ago, and not just one, having met a good gene pool. This is clearly more important than stamps in the passport. Marriage for me is not the goal or means of achieving something. Thanks to parents for always standing up for my freedom - and not replacing values ​​with malignant settings like “The main thing is to get married, time is tick-to-do.”

Not all, however, so hopeless.

Yes, the suitors of the sample zero - so that with a cozy place in Forbes, and without a dozen heirs - in the city no longer exists. In "Coffeemania" there is nothing to catch and no one. But there were other suitors. Young and advanced, existing in a normal, lively and modern competition. Here, for example, crazy geeks, conquering the world of neural connections. Yes, while their life is measured by terabytes, not billions, but after a few years they are in sneakers Vans set foot on the territory of the current oil industry. “To become a general, you have to marry a lieutenant, and shook him around the garrisons,” tried to impress the adventurous heroine in the movie “Moscow Doesn't Believe in Tears.” I suspect that the path to the stars with the future Ilon Mask is no less thorny. No guarantees: in the world of startups, the success rate is minimal. And besides, I'm not sure that the “crazy geek” is exactly what I need.

Communicating with outstanding, educated, successful people, I noticed that they were not particularly lucky in a relationship. They were lonely more often than lovers, despite romance and even marriage. I understood: the higher the pyramid is, the narrower it is, and therefore it is not at all easy for me to find the right partner - due to high requirements. Of course, I, who so much like to spit against the wind and can't stand marching, have not reached the registrar's office. During my work at Tatler, I looked at hundreds of idle and enviable - and still I was left alone. But regrets about this are less painful than they would be if I lived with a completely alien person to me.

 

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