Mom from Texas invented a trick that weaned her to scream at children
'28.07.2018'
Source: The Daily Mail
39-year-old Kelly Holmes, a mother of three children from Texas, invented a method that completely changed her relationship with the kids. The trick involves the use of hair ties and works very simply.
Kelly admits that for a long time she tried to learn how to maintain control in situations when she wants to shout at children, and at some point she began to look for scientific data on how to form healthy habits, writes The Daily Mail.
After researching a series of studies, she came up with a hair tie trick. You have to put five rubber bands on one wrist. If you catch yourself yelling at your child, you need to transfer one rubber band to the other wrists. The task is to never change any of the “bracelets” until the end of the day. There are ways to put one elastic back in place: for this you need to reconnect with the child, for example, hug him or dance together.
The basis of the study was the Institute Gottman, which is called the Magic Proportion 5: 1. According to him, to form a healthy relationship, for each negative interaction you need to give five positive. Kelly shared a revelation on her blog that reads the 500 of thousands of parents. According to her, the relationship with the children has completely changed, as well as the behavior of the offspring: for example, the daughter stopped taking the toys from her younger sister, stopped being angry and more willingly responding to the mother's requests.
“I told my daughter that the elastic bands on my arm give me the super strength to be the best mom I can be. She liked it, maybe even too much. Once, when she jumped up several times after going to bed, my tone began to rise, I was tired and worried that she would not go to bed. I had already taken off my elastic bands, but my daughter said to her husband: "Daddy, ask Mom to put on the bracelets again." The father reassured his daughter and told her that mom would be fine.
Every morning, according to the woman, she reads the comments and letters of grateful parents “with tears of happiness in her eyes,” and is glad that so many people were able to connect with their children in the chaos of parenting.
Kelly's tips: what to do to get the bracelet back on the “right” hand
If you have already removed one of the rubber wristbands and changed them for the other hand, it is possible to return it back, thereby restoring the balance. How to do it:
- hug a child;
- say, “Tell me how you feel”;
- look together family photos;
- make up a story together;
- invite your daughter to play dress up with your clothes;
- tell a joke;
- Encourage the children to help you in some business;
- allow them to go to bed late and play games;
- have a party just because;
- make a bubble bath;
- start the game;
- look into their eyes and smile;
- leave a note or surprise drawing;
- go somewhere together;
- say, "I love you."
