How to get into the business community in America if you are a woman
'17.07.2018'
Source: Forbes Russia
For several reasons, making business contacts for women is more difficult than for men. How to expand the network of business contacts, if a new position obliges you to acquire connections, says Ekaterina Dorozhkina specifically for Forbes Russia.
Several years ago, I plunged headlong into a new US venture capital industry and faced with the need to expand the network of business connections. I decided to start with the case, which is described in the book by Cheryl Sandberg, Lean In, entrepreneur and COO of Facebook. She urged women to fight for success in business, overcoming difficulties and stereotypes, and in the development of her ideas she created the public organization LeanIn.org. Here women can join different groups, otherwise called circles, formed according to certain characteristics, for example, working mothers, and communicate, help each other in solving various tasks. Groups closed. In order to join them, you need to submit an application. My answer was a refusal, the reasons for which were not explained. The fact that the organization, which should support and inspire women, rejected the request, caused, on the one hand, the strongest dissonance, on the other, forced them to distract themselves from the veil of ideas and concentrate on finding a different approach.
If we are looking for professional networking, and not new girlfriends for talking and parties, the right thing will be to go from the profession, from the business. To do this, look for strong women in your circle and build your networks with them. On the recommendation of one of my acquaintances, I managed to join a closed group of women in the venture capital industry Women in VC. The group is quite small - there are about 450 participants all over the country, but the opportunities that professional focus gives are enormous. For example, you can attract one of the participants to invest in your project. If you need contact in the world of business venture and a presentation for further communication with him, here you can ask for it and get help. The venture sphere is still the territory of men to a greater extent, therefore this group provides an important resource.
First tip
Join networks and organizations for women, but choose them with a focus on your industry, business direction, and profession. Here you can count on real help and benefits for your career. You should not look too generalized circle, where you do not get specifics, spending your time.
It is believed that one of the problems in networking for women is the dilemma of free time - they tend to devote it to the family. Off-site conferences for several days, many hours of meetings on the golf course, and the like are not for the ladies. Here, firstly, in some significant cases, exceptions must be made, without falling into a sense of guilt in front of loved ones. Secondly, apply network planning and optimization. It will be effective only with regular efforts - it will not be possible to go out once a month, collect business cards and calm down on it. Contacts must be maintained and developed, to be in touch and informed, to tell about their own news and changes. At the same time you need a balance with your personal time. Planning gives the decision - in advance to find time for each item. In the venture network, for example, meetings are held once a month at dinner. All participants in the calendar should be mentioned; they try not to miss dinner, because everyone understands that this will be a time of focused, mutually beneficial business communication. To maintain communication on other days, channels in the Slack application are working.
I will give two examples of optimizing networking in terms of time costs. When you organize open events, invite all members of the network you are on. This corresponds to the interests of the group and provides an additional opportunity for full-time communication without interrupting the main work. Another solution: organize meetings on your own and invite professionals from various fields from your circle of contacts who may potentially be interesting to each other, but still unfamiliar with each other. For example, chat over lunch without interruption from work - bring a laptop with you.
Second tip
Include time for networking in the weekly schedule and optimize formats and tools. Combine with work time and events, use remote channels.
The difficult story of women's struggle for recognition in business has an impact on the networking style and is often the reason for its inefficiency. One of the mistakes is excessive zeal in underlining their merits, regalia and significance, which can often look like compensation for internal complexes and make the opposite impression. At the same time, the USA is a country where self-presentation has been cultivated since childhood, only stars in the business come to interviews, and you will find in the American profile on LinkedIn many times more information about all the achievements and courses completed than your own. And even in such a culture, excessive stress due to competition in the male world can lead to excesses, which I witnessed more than once. At some point, it is more useful to remain silent. There were cases when I was accepted as an assistant to my partner.
I do not advise you to be nervous and rush to prove your worth. It is important to say about your successes on time and calmly, even better if someone else tells you about it. As a result, you will reach recognition, when you no longer need to represent. To achieve the optimal state for effective communication and positioning of oneself is possible only in one way. It is necessary to gain inner self-confidence, to work and not to pay attention to possible roughness in perception. You need to completely forget about the "women's issue" - your professionalism and the work that you are engaged in and truly passionate about are in focus.
Third tip
Turn off the separation of interlocutors and situations for women and men. Cultivate self-confidence without the need to prove and demonstrate it. Be professional.
A big obstacle for women in networking seems to be that men have only their own topics for talking and practicing. Like, I will never join the company's conversation about baseball and not be invited to an evening at a cigar club or a hockey game. In fact, men need a lot of time to look at each other, to assess whether they are ready to have something to do with each other. We move to this process faster and use other methods for developing contacts. Preparing for a meeting with new friends will help start a conversation without much difficulty. Viewing industry news and dossiers on a potential business partner does not take long. Information about the latest deal or golf tournament where he participated will be a great start to the conversation, but the main thing is to show sincere interest in the person.
By the way, getting an invitation to a private event with a “male” theme, such as auto racing, is also not a problem, especially if you turn off the separation of interlocutors and situations into female and male. Sport is also a completely open topic: squash is a popular game among American men. Here you have one more point of contact and development of business contacts.
I wonder how both sides are trying to bridge the gap. Women's communities can organize special meetings with men - major leaders and entrepreneurs. And vice versa. One of our partners, Matt Wallaert, the former head of Microsoft Ventures, holds quarterly mentoring dinners for women — invites those who need a mentor and who can play this role. All those present, he gives the appropriate stickers and stimulates communication and exchange of experience. This is his social mission, which he invented for himself, partly under the influence of his wife. And this is also one of the examples of what should be learned from men in networking - without losing time, to get straight to the point. Talk about what you need and how you can be useful. Women still with great difficulty and less often do it, especially they turn to specific requests for help. A man can be asked to become your mentor - a guide in the men's business. Represent you and help expand your networks.
If you have not yet fully mastered the technique of free effective networking in the male community, use a female resource. There are global organizations in the US, such as UPWARD Women. Find out about those that exist in your region, country, find someone who will help you to enter them. Contact women from your industry directly if you have the opportunity to write to them in social networks. Women have an advantage in business communication with each other - we can ask about something in a friendly way, and this will not be understood in the wrong context. If you use all possible advantages and ignore the obstacles, there will be no difficulties in building an effective network of business contacts.
Fourth tip
Learn networking with men and build connections with them. Make contact with women your secret weapon. Combine everything and create your style.
