The story of my move to New York: personal experience and advice
'09.07.2018'
In 2016, after graduating from the Faculty of Philosophy of Moscow State University, I arrived for an internship in the United States. Here I was lucky to not only get invaluable experience, but also to meet my love. Every time I talk about my immigration, I am haunted by the feeling that I am in church, in confession. To tell people about your decision, about how you went to its execution, is something very personal.
When I first came to the USA under the Work & Travel program, sparks flew from my eyes. That summer I decided to make the summer of my life, I don’t know if you ever made such decisions. You promise yourself that all of this will go down in history. At least in your life story. Not a single day will be wasted, not a drop of alcohol will spill past your mouth, not a single man will pass by, not a single party will start without you. I don't even know how my roommates put up with me.
Then I kept my word. That summer there was a lot of madness, some I regret, but at least there will be something to remember in old age. In the end, for all the bad things, I was punished with an almost broken leg, and for all the good things - by meeting my future husband. As you can see, there was still more good.
And then I returned to Moscow. My love remained on a different continent, and together we began to carry out a reunion plan. Honestly, I decided to return to America before we met. It seemed to me that in another place of life I would not be. Of course, I was then a little unaware of the number of events and emotions experienced.
The second time I arrived in the United States exactly one year later under the Internship program. I was almost immediately overwhelmed by a wave of reality. It was then that I really tasted America. By the way, not only her. For the first time I was without parents, for the first time I myself earned my living, for the first time I lived with a young man. In general, I had something to do.
Soon Lucas made me an offer. In the autumn, our wedding took place, the day after which we moved to New York. The city of which we both dreamed ...
Amazing story of my marriage
The story originates in the 2014 year. In September, a friend of mine returned from the United States. He told me how, on the way from Los Angeles to San Francisco, on the bus, he found someone's lost rights. The guy in the photo looked like a passenger in front of him. As you probably already guessed, this was my future husband.
Throughout the year, a friend of mine aggressively promoted this boy to me and told me that we must meet him in San Francisco after the end of our summer W&T program. He told me that he has Argentine roots, that we will all speak Spanish (I graduated from Spanish school), that he is an artist, and I will become his muse.
Of course, after a summer full of impressions and adventures in Aspen, I only wanted one thing. Rather, to Los Angeles, to the beach, quietly lie down peacefully so that no one touches. But my friend was like an instinct! “We have to go to San Francisco! You are just made for each other! ”. In the end, I gave up. Gloomy and tired after the final parties in Aspen, I nevertheless arrived at SF.
But let's not be cunning, I'm too WOMAN to really let everything go by itself. So I made a last effort on myself and still laid my hair! They immediately curled up from the wild humidity in the Federation Council. Besides, my lenses have long since ended, I was wearing glasses, and decided that it was just time to score on everything. Well, not coming!
Lucas kindly accommodated us visiting friends. He himself came a little later.
When he entered the room, everything stopped like in the movies. This was the same notorious love at first sight. Needless to say, I never returned to my friends house?
We immediately decided that we were together forever. But I had to go home. Graduate from university. Standing at the station, he said that he could stop me now, but it would not benefit me or him. We needed something else to complete in our lives. I was leaving, but my heart was calm, I knew that we would definitely meet again.
As we are relatively budget wedding in one of the most expensive cities in the world
My husband and I made the design of our invitations with our own hands in Photoshop. I was madly proud of them. I wanted to do something with reference to the Tarot cards (fate) associated with geography (we are from different countries), at the same time, so that it looks stylish / fashionable / youth.
In America, wedding invitations can be sent by mail. For a country where the age of technology began yesterday, it seemed a bit strange to me. But we did not invent these traditions, so it’s not for us to cancel them.
An invitation is just the beginning. It is also customary to put a separate RSVP card in the envelope, which guests send back to you as a notification that they will attend the event. It is also customary to “ask” for gifts with a separate postcard. This is a whole topic.
There is such a thing as “registration of gifts”. That is, you create a list (there are special sites for this) with your “gift” preferences. Each guest has the opportunity to choose what gift he will present to you and, so to speak, sign under it with electronic ink.
Virtually any large American store, especially for the middle class and above, will allow you to make such a wedding list of your products on the spot. And you tell your guests in which particular store to look for it.
We missed this mess with gifts, and just in the invitation we asked our guests to donate us any amount they deem necessary, because we then moved to New York, and, as we would not want, we did not have a place for vases and pans alas
The title of this story - how they got married on a budget in one of the most expensive cities in the world - is similar to one YouTube video “How to Live in New York on Six Dollars a Day,” after watching which everyone concluded that they couldn't.
Therefore, I will make an amendment to the wind. Something we were ready to sacrifice, something not. For example, I was not ready to sacrifice my shoes. But here is a small list of what made life easier for us.
1. Fortunately, Lukas' mother turned out to be a born wedding planner, a decorator, a driver, and many more. Everything you see in the photo was done by her personally!
2. Sister Lucas and her friend worked in one of the best restaurants in Hollywood - Spago. The two of them organized a dinner for 40 people! From the elaboration of the menu to the selection of ingredients at the farmers' markets in Los Angeles (a lot was transported from there, as it is cheaper there than in San Francisco). They cooked all night and only left at the end of the holiday.
3. Our friend Bruno, who was invited as a DJ, did an internship with me in St. Petersburg. Regis Hotel, and when we didn’t have enough waiters, cheerfully took up the tray and provided first-class service.
4. We decided to abandon the photographer, but witness Kalil helped us out, who the night before the wedding found his friend, a photographer. He hadn't seen him for many years, but he asked us to shoot in honor of the wedding and a friend kindly agreed. He spent the whole day with us and stayed until the end of the wedding!
5. Lucas's family brought a bunch of Argentinean sweets, so the cake, in principle, could also be refused. But I really wanted a cake, as we “designed” it based on my portrait, which Lucas painted.
6. We did the design of invitations, printing and newsletters. My experience as a graphic designer helped me and that Lucas is a professional artist.
7. I ordered my wedding dress online.
8. My wedding bouquet Lucas with friends tore off in the next garden, with the blessing of the mistress of the garden. When she found out the reason, she could not refuse.
9. Our families and friends agreed to fly to the other end of the world, to accommodate themselves, without requiring anything, on the contrary, helping us.
In the early stages of this "fairy tale" I want to put morality into it - you need to follow your heart. The end is impossible to predict, but at least you will sleep with a clear conscience. Consider that you have done everything in your power to live the way you want.
Findings and emotions after a year in the US
During this time I changed three jobs, got married and moved to New York. There was also a lot of travel around America and beyond. A sort of five-year plan in one year.
There were also a lot of emotions: joy and tears, homesickness, for mom and dad, grandmother, sister, aunt and uncle. To friends with whom you speak Russian, and this makes your jokes sound much wittier and funnier. Sometimes I wanted to drop everything and fly home on the first flight. More precisely - the first would not work, since I lived in Aspen. From there, if you are not ready to pay $ 1000, you need to get to Glenwood Springs, then take another bus to Denver, and from there there is a flight to Moscow, with a transfer somewhere (most likely in New York). In general, while you are calculating everything, the hysteria will subside, get up and move on.
Courage not only takes cities, but also allows you to find paid internships while on the other side of the world, simultaneously get a job as a creative director in a gallery, change your first internship for another, “cooler”, live in the center of Aspen, in an old Victorian house, find new friends on all my life and, of course, to know love.
Take a person to 100, give him a chance and give him again and again, do not give up, forgive, learn, grow together, respect and support in spite of everything.
Now we are in New York. The most extraordinary city in the world. Perhaps this is the only place where I really want to be now, we have a serious affair with him, I hope for a long time. From travel and travel, it turns out, you can get very tired and dream of a contract with the landlord on 2 year.
We ended up concluding on one, we and our life are too crazy to bind ourselves with such a long relationship with one house. Probably, this is the same “stability” and “confidence in the future”, which we talk about so often, and so, we do not need it.
