A resident of New York tried through Facebook to exchange the girl's embryo for a boy
'05.11.2018'
Source: The siver times
The woman has created several Facebook groups that support couples who decide on artificial insemination to become parents. In such groups, she offered to exchange her embryo of the girl, who remained after the fertilization attempt, for the boy's embryo, because the family wants a son.
Many people considered it unethical to abandon a biological child just because of gender, and complained to the moderators of the social network - the groups were closed. But the mother herself, 37-year-old Lisa, an actress from Brooklyn, believes that they simply “were not in her place,” writes The siver times.
Lisa and Ray, her 48-year-old husband (names have been changed) have already become the parents of 5-year-old Daniel, who was also born as a result of IVF technology - IVF, or in vitro fertilization. Problems with conception were discovered in the couple in 2009 after the wedding. At 20, Ray was diagnosed with testicular cancer and prescribed chemotherapy, which negatively affected his reproductive system in the future.
Now the couple wants a second child and certainly a boy. First, her son Daniel really wants a brother, with whom he will be able to share a common room and hobbies. Secondly, her husband grew up in a family surrounded by sisters, and also wanted another son.
Another important reason is the costly life in New York. “We have two bedrooms and there is no room for the third. We bought the house when Daniel was a baby, and now prices have gone up a lot. We cannot afford a separate room for a girl. We will have to move to Nebraska, ”says Lisa.
She was written by a 40-year-old California woman who already has a child and her husband has six sons from a previous marriage. They left two embryos. “If we go through this again, then only with a girl,” the woman's husband told Lisa. Families continue to discuss this issue, but legally it would be easier for Lisa to exchange embryos with a family from her state.
IVF is an expensive procedure. In 2012, the couple spent 15 thousand dollars on in vitro fertilization at a clinic in Manhattan, one out of four embryos was implanted and engrafted. This is how Daniel appeared. Three years ago, they tried to plant three more embryos on the woman, but none of them resisted. The family put all their savings into two more IVF cycles - most of the embryos did not develop, some had genetic problems, and some did not take root again. Only one of these cycles resulted in the successful implantation of a male embryo, but in July 3 the pregnancy was terminated.
In May this year, IVF was repeated - now they have frozen a female embryo, for the storage of which the couple pays 1 thousand dollars every year.
“I was surprised and saddened that this is a girl,” says Lisa.
They tried again at another clinic, but nothing happened. So the couple came to search for candidates for the exchange of embryos.
Lisa is worried about the criticism of people who believe that she is doing very badly, refusing the biological future of the child. But Lisa herself does not consider this important.
“I believe that by carrying a child, you form a bond with him. I know a lot of women who have gone through IVF with donor eggs, and these are their children. A friend of mine, a white-skinned Jew, adopted a black child. This is his son, and they have an inextricable bond. "
Ray and Lisa considered the idea of adoption, but this option did not work for them due to the process taking too long. They did not look for those who would donate embryos to them (in the US to sell them illegally), because they knew that the result would be zero. The application to the National Center for Embryo Donation costs $ 400, the total amount is $ 7500, while people have been waiting for embryos for years, says Lisa.
She would like to get pregnant as a boy for Christmas, so that Daniel and his brother would not have a very big age difference. Daniel is red-haired, and she would like a boy with the same hair. As for the embryo-girl, she assumes that she will be born with light or red hair, because Lisa’s husband is Irish, and she’s Italian.
“He also graduated from Yale. When people are looking for donors, the first thing they ask is if they have a diploma. ”
She received several offers from potential parents who would like to get an embryo, but they have nothing to offer in return. The couple refused, because still wants to become the boy's parents.
