Living in New York: The Dry Facts 25

- NEW YORK'S CHARM IS IN THAT YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO ALLOW.
- NEW YORK'S CHARM IS CONCLUDED IN ANOTHER: YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN CONFESS IT.

© The film "This awkward moment."

1. Despite the fact that in New York five districts (Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx and Staten Island), by this New Yorker is meant a resident of Manhattan. Let's be honest. You can live in Williamsburg, Greenpoint, Astoria, Riverdale, even in Jersey (oh, this is a separate topic ...) and spend an hour and a half to move; Of course, other areas of the city are also good, nice and attractive in their own way. But the tourist will not go to the Bronx in good faith. Well, except that if inadvertently in the subway mixed branches and fall asleep.
2. A real New Yorker never looks up. Never. Never? At all! It is a fact. Stars for a typical resident of a megalopolis are not in the sky, because they are not there, but in the nearest coffee shop around the corner or in the elevator of an office building. New Yorker is staring at people, and at celebrities is not doubly stares. A couple of seconds with one eye is normal, but then it is still necessary to muffle curiosity so that there is no notorious annoying “eye contact“. In the context of celebrity it is just polite and well-mannered - not to stare! New Yorker lives in a city that is simply teeming with celebrities, and therefore can afford to ignore them as a “star” and is perceived as ordinary people.
3. New Yorker skyscrapers are called towers (tower), and traffic jams and traffic jams are just traffic, and not traffic jam, as learn English books.
4. If in any other city you say that you are stuck in traffic ... on the subway, you will most likely be considered for the lazy idiot who overslept. But for New York this is normal. Subway trains can often get into traffic and stay in a tunnel, especially during rush hours.
5. This newyorker easily falls asleep in the subway, even standing. And the distance is measured not by minutes and miles, but by the number of blocks.
6. By the way, in the New York subway there are such characters that at least open a separate heading. Last week only I saw a girl in a bracelet on her leg, which does not allow to move away from the house for a distance of more than ... or what is meant by the correctional purposes of such gadgets. Also riding a moped. More precisely, the moped was standing, driving the car. There was also a girl with a tattoo “Everything would be ...”. The end of the phrase hid the clothes. What could she write there? The options were as follows: “Everything will be fine”, “Everything is meaningless”, “Everything is divine”, “Everything will listen to birch trees”, “Everything changes quickly”, “Everything is brother, bye”, “Oh, everything would be ... well, nothing it happened, you still don’t understand ”,“ Everything is Babarabanu ”(it’s as if you fill in the Chinese character with the meaning“ eternity ”, the hand jerked unintentionally from the master and already op -“ miso soup ”),“ You’d want to have fun, Heart, my gold! From hangover to hangover, From freedom to good again - Carefree life! ”, Alexander Blok. Well, what if?
7. A real New Yorker doesn’t usually have a car. First, because parking costs as much as training in the Ivy League. Secondly - it is a headache. Starting from finding a parking space, winding circles around the house, sometimes up to ten blocks, or sometimes reaching as far as Pennsylvania; and ending with the writing of parking permits from thirteen to sixteen zero from Monday to Friday, or only from six to eight in the morning on Saturday, or only when Central Park squirrels start getting caked with cookies, and homeless people on Park Avenue and residents of local penthouses will swap places . What is possible in principle. However, it is easier to accommodate an elephant as a pet, and so that the landlord does not notice than to understand the signs of parking on the street. One of my friends even has a special column for monthly expenses - parking fines. He is not a typical New Yorker. And not a millionaire. He just has a car.
8. A New Yorker is always running. He will not stop in the stream of people to take a photo, and will not slow down, just because he decided to look around a bit and think about the meaning of life. Therefore, it is quite normal to cross the street to a red light, if at a distance of at least two meters from him there is no car. In general, a resident of a megalopolis does everything on the go: it can simultaneously go on, talk on the phone, eat and catch a taxi, even if it is not late.
9. New Yorker has plans for a long time ahead: work, gym, meeting with friends on Friday, birthday of her sister's husband in a month, an important business breakfast in May, and New Year's 2018 in Alaska. Even if there are no plans at all. To lie about their plans is also a distinctive feature of a New Yorker, especially in the context of his personal life.
10. New Yorkers are not afraid of rats. They just do not pay attention to them. Like the trash. However, on people too. And the New Yorker is not surprised. Never. Not a bearded woman prostitute in mesh shorts, neither uggs in summer, nor female legs without tights in winter. Nothing.
11. Not a single New Yorker will go voluntarily to stroll through Times Square, set up a working meeting there, and will not arrange a meeting with friends. Because Times Square is a place for tourists, which means a madhouse, a crush and maximum accumulation of Supermen per square meter. They do not save the world, and only do that they are photographed with other supermen that they came to this purgatory of good will. There is a feeling that hell looks like this: torture with LED lamps, smoke from burned street shawarma from everywhere, and someone constantly pokes at the back of the head with a selfie stick.
12. This newyorker, most likely, never saw the Statue of Liberty closer than across the river, hardly ever walked along the Brooklyn Bridge, most likely did not take panoramic photos from the height of the Empire State Building. And certainly never listened to the tour, sitting at the top of a red double-decker bus.
13. Every New Yorker can easily use concepts such as northwest or southeast. In reality, he may not even know what a compass looks like, but he will never confuse the southeast part of Manhattan with the southwest. And he knows that Fifth Avenue, not Broadway, divides the island into western and eastern halves. In principle, with Manhattan, everything is clear - regarding what-what-where is located. But those who understand the parts of the world of Brooklyn are for me personally a guru of orienteering and holders of the Order of Dior of the third degree in one person.
14. All New Yorkers hate Jersey, city and state. But over time, they may buy a house there when they decide to have a family and children. Or move, simply because it's cheaper on the other side of the Hudson. And they will be tormented on the New Jersey Transit trains and curse everything in the world.
15. New Yorker does not go to musicals. Ask anyone, and he will answer that the last time was on the Broadway show in the year of the crisis, or between two hurricanes, or when “Netflix” didn’t work for some reason.
16. A resident of New York will always call the address, say, one hundred and fifteenth street and wait from the interlocutor that he understands which part of the city he is talking about, that is, what kind of people he means, and not just navigation. Even if the interlocutor in New York for the first time.
17. Any newyorker will help the tourist and friendly will prompt what is located. New Yorker loves to be an expert like no other. At the same time, there is a stereotype about the inhabitants of the Big Apple - rude. This is not rude. New Yorkers are very clear and do not grind things up. Quickly, without “be so kind, mister, please, if it is not difficult” with, say, ordering food delivery - this is a time saving person at the other end. Not to make others wait is one of the key rules of the city and its inhabitants. The same goes for meetings: it’s scary to be late for five minutes, in a quarter of an hour there is still hope to remain friends, after half an hour you can be despised by contempt, sent to hell and leave.
18. New York is mostly black in clothes. Even local freaks and bums match the colors of the city.
19. This new yorker does not remember how quiet it is. And if absolute silence suddenly sets in, the New Yorker begins to panic and frantically opens the news in an attempt to find out if anything has happened. And then she just smiles pretty - on vacation, far from the city, it means it should be so. Here it turns out like birds sing.
20. “Only in New York!” Is a favorite phrase of a resident of this city. Because only there is everything. That is absolutely everything: from round-the-clock jigsaw delivery to any part of the city to chocolate with the taste of roasted bacon with salt.
21. Newyorker will surely ask the stranger where he comes from or how long he lives here, he can calmly give a compliment to a hairstyle or ask where he grabs such cool shoes and for how much he takes home. New Yorkers - mini-interviewers. Someone might consider this for familiarity. But this is New York.
22. Every inhabitant has warm clothes with him in the midst of the sun: a jacket, a scarf, a jacket, even a tent or whatever. Have you been to Starbucks in July? Then you know what it is about.
23. Every new yorker understands what is sung in the song Jay-Z and Alicia Keys.
24. The resident of the Big Apple is constantly looking for three things: an apartment, a job and love.
25. Oh yes. And New York is nothing like an apple! Does the new yorker know about this? Chhat him!

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