Forbidden topic: why it is useful to talk about death
'13.03.2020'
Source: Heroine.ru
The theme of death in our culture is stigmatized almost more than sex. People are scared and embarrassed to discuss what they have never experienced. However, the more we move away from talking about death, the more it scares us. In order to remove the ban from this topic and make discussion of the end of life an ordinary thing, the positivity movement of death advocates, writes Heroine.ru. We will tell you what it is and why we all should stop being afraid of talking about death.
Take death out of the closet
In 2017, American artist Julia Fox hosted an exhibition called RIP Julia Fox. She presented the audience with paintings painted on silk with her own blood and called this project an act of rebirth.
In 2018, the Russian rapper Husky also “reborn”, first staging his own hanging, and then a very natural funeral: the artist was lying in a coffin while people approached him to say goodbye.
These are just a few examples of cultural events that bring talk of death into public space. In Ghana, artisan Joseph Tettech Ashong designs custom-made coffins inspired by fashion: in the form of Air Jordan sneakers or Louis Vuitton x Supreme bags. A book about "Mortal cleaning", which encourages people who are aware of their imminent demise to restore order in their things so that their grieving relatives do not have to deal with this later.
In addition, “mournful dinner parties” and similar events are practiced around the world where people can gather to talk about death.
All these events are part of the positivity movement of death. His mission is to change the traditional attitude towards death, encouraging a more open conversation about it.
According to Catherine Cortes-Miller, the author of the book Talking About Death Will Not Kill You: An Important Guide to the End of Life, in Western cultures death is seen as something terrible, unfamiliar and distant. The fact that we distance ourselves from this topic only reinforces the anxiety that people experience about death, Katherine is convinced.
The purpose of the positivity of death is to “take death out of the closet” so that people begin to regard it not as a terrible thing, but as an integral part of life.
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Why is it useful to talk about death
Talking about death seems depressing, but proponents of the positivity movement believe that ignoring this topic gives us far more problems. These are the arguments they give in favor of a positive attitude towards conversations about the end of life.
- People will be less afraid of the future.
A positive attitude towards death considers the normalization of this phenomenon as the basis for well-being. If society gets used to talking openly about death and stops stigmatizing this topic, people will be less worried about their own demise. This is especially true, given the wave of anxiety about the climate crisis.
2. Will affect vital decisions
In every possible way avoiding conversations and thoughts about death, we forget that this affects our life in a practical sense, too. The realization that your stay on Earth is not infinite will help radically revise the approach to your behavior, environment, and actions. This will teach you to appreciate the present moment and your relationship with loved ones.
In addition, the idea of death as something real and ordinary can motivate a person to be more conscious about his health and lifestyle.
Another practical aspect of the positivity of death is that it will help people prepare in advance for its arrival: it will encourage them to make a will, take care of the material side of the issue, and not leave a bunch of unresolved everyday problems for heartbroken relatives.
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h. Will encourage each other
By practicing death talk, we can learn to support people who are experiencing loss. Often people do not know how to behave and what to say in such situations. This is also a consequence of avoiding the topic of death in public space.
How to be more positive about talking about death
- Meditate. Spend time reflecting on life and death. Katherine Cortes-Miller advises asking herself two questions. First: what are you willing to sacrifice in terms of quality of life in favor of its quantity (for example, eating less junk food)? Second: what pleasures are you not ready to give up no matter what?
- Chat with loved ones. Share death stories with close friends or a partner. You can share how you first learned about it and what you thought, discuss someone else’s story from the news or historical fact. Make sure that the person is ready to support this topic and be especially careful with those who recently experienced the loss. Perhaps for them even abstract talk of death is now too difficult.
- Take care of self-education. Read books on the topic of death, as well as conversations about it and how to deal with them. Learn more about the attitude to death in different cultures, especially since not everywhere this topic is as stigmatized as ours. All this will help to calmly talk about death and understand that it is an integral part of life.
