Married in America: suitors for the mysterious Russian soul
'11.02.2019'
Source: baikal-info.ru
Irkutsk journalist Marina Lykova, who married an American several years ago, tells interesting things about life in the United States and about her marriage.
I have a Russian girlfriend who is trying to arrange her happiness in America with our Russian-speaking man, Marina writes for baikal-info.ru. Below are stories about her meetings based on online dating. Recorded from her words, the first-person narrative solely for the sake of ease of presentation. Read, curious!
... On my photo, exhibited on not the most popular dating site, every day (!) Comes on 99 likes and fifty messages.
Before my eyes that week, the “merry-go-round” of men's physiognomy spins around me. I tirelessly "wink" at someone. In general, I am working on the creation of a future "cell of society". But those who peck at me are not the ones I need. Or not those who need me. I have never thought about which prince and which horse I am waiting for. But now, by trial and error, I realized that I like men much older than me (years old on 18 — 25). Skinheads. With strong bull necks. I like those who love hunting and fishing, and generally inherent in this Russian peasants entertainment. Education also plays a big role for me in choosing a man. I also want for some reason that he does not smoke. (For some reason I decided for myself that only those who did not succeed in life in the States smoke in the States.)
The main thing (much more important than what education he has, what form his skull is and how much he can drink) is that he speaks the same language as me. At home. In Russian.
Whatever it was, but 10% of all Americans (!) Have ever applied to the "electronic matchmaker". And the number of those who are today 18 — 35 years old and who hope this way, with the help of the Internet, to arrange their personal lives, has long passed in the USA for 20%. But this applies to those who live, like me, in the American heartland. For those who were lucky enough to live in big cities like Salt Lake, Seattle or Los Angeles, it almost became the rule to sit in search of a couple on the Web: 40% of Americans are looking for love not at parties, not at work and not among friends, and in the virtual. And already 25% of Americans found their halves on the Internet.
And again: 34% have never been on a date. That is, on a date, when two bodies meet in reality and can even touch each other. About online dating, we are not talking.
And I realized this: a person who almost immediately says that he wants to start a family with you and immediately adopt all your children ... a liar. I like now those men who honestly admit that they would like to start a relationship solely for the sake of sex. And there it will be seen. And I realized the following: as little information as possible should be leaked to the Internet. No photo shoots naked. Even alone.
And in general, as people who have seen it in their lifetime say, it should be kept secret how much money you have and with whom you have love, your own age, and how and to what gods you pray.
- You would be a bit tight to you.
He sees me for the first time, but right there, at once, without hesitation, assesses my appearance.
- Have you heard about swingers?
I have not heard anything about swingers, but I hear from my new, quite handsome, wearing an expensive dark shirt and obviously just dry-cleaning bright trousers of a acquaintance that he was divorced for only a few months and terribly misses all those privileges, who gave him the life of a married woman. One of these benefits is the weekly visit to the swingers parties. Forty dollars from a couple and ... the soul flew to heaven!
My eyes, staring in surprise, demanded, apparently, a more detailed answer, and he immediately said that first the vending couple went to the restaurant. If the "chemistry" did not happen - no one would argue with a concise "no!" Moreover, it is there that “there is a merchant” on “every commodity”.
- You know, there are all decent people. Different age, different builds. But everyone has a good income, high-ranking positions. And, most importantly, you can be sure that no one will know about anything ...
- Why am I there ??? - I exhaled, crouching on the first Internet date in my life, who got the only decent dress on himself and spent an hour with a curling around the bathroom mirror.
- Well, why? But no one will let me go there without a woman. It does not have to be a wife. You can come with a friend. But for one to go there alone is like coming to a holiday, where everyone has to bring, say, personally prepared salad ... absolutely nothing. With empty hands. And everyone will openly stare at you and condemn, even if mentally, for having come to "eat someone else's freebie."
He leads me, as we agreed, to dinner. He orders, not stingy, a bottle of good red wine for two. From the huge menu, choose the cheapest snack - grilled asparagus. Total 6.99. Dan - not Dan is sincerely indignant and asks me not to be shy. But I know nothing in my mouth for sure, after such a bummer will not climb. It remains, after parting with the hopes of a happy marriage, to listen to the interlocutor immersed in personal problems:
- I have a very good job. Pay well. But, you know, there was a moment when I wanted to get together and pull back to my homeland. And my girls ate at school at school ...
And he tells me with pain in his voice, as if it was just yesterday, about how he spread rot at work for being non-American. As the eldest of girls, a thirteen-year-old Russian beauty, who came daily from school in tears, the class, consisting mainly of colored Americans and Mexicans, almost unanimously recommended shaving their legs ... just for fun. And the girl came home and daily shaved the delicate white skin, on which there was no hair ... And if it were not for his former (also Russian) wife, who stood up in defense of the children and husband, it is not known how this could have ended.
- Now everything is settled. But I, living here for more than twenty years, perfectly understood that America is for Americans.
Another candidate made me a meeting in the park, not far from his home. In the pouring rain, in the wind and cold. He offered to “go” to a cafe located at the other end of the city, because he cannot eat in other places of public catering due to the fact that he is a vegetarian. I had to go to the other end, it is not clear that (I am a meat eater!) And pay for myself.
That, in general, is quite normal. But! This former USSR man turned out to be frankly battered and bald (in comparison with photos), although he was quite harmless and gentle. He told me that he had been unemployed for many years and that he had just returned to his ex-wife after a long break. From Seattle back to our lands. There he was a photographer, shot views of the city and, most importantly, already known throughout the world, it seems, the fish market, and, printing in the cabin near his fotochki, sold them for 20 — 40 dollars apiece. Art after all.
“Have you been to Seattle?” Was, you say? But without me - it does not count! You and I will have to give it up sometime. I'll show you all my secret points there. If you are interested in photography, then you will be a piece of bread and butter for life.
- And then returned to my wife, if everything was good? On a dating site, then why? - to “you”, my tongue does not turn.
- What's wrong with that? I feel so comfortable. She feeds me, water, treats. Take care of me. And to whom else, if not to his wife, in his old age under the wing? Who else do we need at that age? Sons, again, side by side. There, in Seattle, I had a woman. Also from Russia. Young But who in old age, except for his own wife, can be dearer? ..
This, another regular “comrade” of ours, also Russian, is all with him. Tall. The mind glows in the eyes. Work, again, not bad, that, you see, is not the last thing in the current economy.
In - I think. Finally, the groom was found normal. No wonder they say in the people that he who seeks will find! Normally we talk to him at my house like that.
I cooked all day for his appearance (I didn’t cook in life, but here I took it!). Yes, not anyhow, but what he eats. And he eats only kosher dishes. He is a Jew. From Russia.
He rolls my gazpacho with melon behind both cheeks. Smacks his lips. Fingers licking. Supplements asks. I prepared from the heart. I ask, seeing how the candidate for groomsmen likes the food: “If you want, you can take it home with you.” What started here !!!
- And I never eat a stale food. Is it possible to eat this? If it is already two hours ago, as it was prepared, then the place of such food in the garbage.
... Saying goodbye, I traditionally open my arms for a friendly hug and see how this almost two-meter-high man wriggles. Not understanding anything, I begin to scroll after his departure, everything connected with it in my head, and I remember how he came out of his car and dropped a five-dollar bill from his pocket. But he did not lean over her. I looked at her, but did not stop. Not raised. I also remember how when he was leaving the toilet in my house, for some reason he opened and closed the door handle with a napkin stuck from the table. Obviously now I see that he now and then pulls out of his jeans pocket a small bottle of disinfectant and constantly rubs his hands with it ...
Yes, he's sick! He is afraid of bacteria - it finally reaches me. Is he not grown up in Russia, where we, having pulled carrots out of the dacha ridge by a scythe and having slightly wiped it off the ground, immediately ate, not knowing any antibacterial gel ?!
We did not know any other soap then, except for the economic one. Who does he want to find there, he says? High? Russian? Blonde? With a high level of intelligence? And so independent and earn good? Yes to eat kosher? And so that he, such here not from this world renegade, suffered?
With my other potential suitor, the story turned out to be generally interesting: he turned out to be truly talented. He sings, dances, draws and composes songs. And most importantly, he hasn't been drinking for four years already. That is generally not a drop. Because for all he has lived in the States for more than twenty years, he has turned into a uniform alcoholic.
The main advantage for me now is that he is not afraid of bacteria (and even stroked some stray cat before my eyes). Meat, again, eats. Anyway. And, like me, adores cow language!
He was honest: he told me that, just like on the site, I didn’t make my real name with age. He told me that he happened to be in America by chance, because he had asked for political asylum here more than twenty years ago. The need, which forced the former Siberian to look for “political asylum” in America, was simple: the reluctance to return the monetary and interest debt to a relative. A relative, charter to believe the promises of robbing rogues, rushed for help to the mafia. Those and scared the guy so that he, not even collecting possessions, rushed to seek protection wherever it may be.
He flew the first possible flight. Under the guise of American services. Mafia found him in America. He was hiding here too. Long hid. He lived anywhere. I wandered around. Starved. Miraculously, I came across an old lonely Jew who sheltered the "political refugee from the USSR" in his little room.
But since there was no room for two folding beds in the room, the "guest" had to sleep for several years ... in the closet. In this, well, built. On the floor.
He lived like this until the danger of being caught by the mafia was over. The danger has passed, but, he says, now all my uncomplicated savings are mine; my new one seems to be sending the groom home to Novosibirsk. There remained his mother and son. There was once another wife, but she promptly left the fugitive.
- Listen, and why are you trying to marry something?
- And who told you that I want to marry? This is exactly what I don’t want! And hardly ever want to become a married woman again. I had a Russian wife in Novosibirsk, so I have enough memories for a lifetime. But meeting women is always a joy to me!
