The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

There should be a lot of a good person: how self-isolation changed us and what does the food have to do with it

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host


And everyone thought ... Is it about the virus again? Or maybe finally something else? There is a lot nowadays - about virology, pathology and pharmacology, not to mention political science and tons of Internet trepology about what no one understands, including the speakers ...

Photo: Shutterstock

This is about another, about another, although the virus touches a little. More precisely, let's start with it. Just now, everyone is jumping to the beach, and to bars and parks for a walk. Hooray!!! Cheerful, fat, cheerful.

- Why fat?
- Well, how? They ate ... not sparing their belly ...
- And this is why?
- Well, what else to do? You sit at home. TV, sex, refrigerator, sex, refrigerator ... refrigerator ... TV ... refrigerator ...
- A figure, but a sport, but to be fit, pumped up, such as ..? Well, at least such as those who are pumped up and fit?

Exactly. Let’s talk about this ...

The medicine of the future will surely cure disease. And this temporary stupidity with the treatment of symptoms will end someday. I hope. And obesity, or just getting fat, is probably a disease. Although some may not. Nobody forces you to throw yourself into yourself, like into the furnace of a locomotive ... Or forces you to.

- And who makes you?
- And all! They make us nervous, they force us. Driving into depression - too ...

On the subject: How to prepare for the effects of the economic crisis in the US and the world: action plan

Those who run from heart attack to stroke are forced. All gyms (and sweating in them, in order to expel a couple of hundred calories from a strained body, so that later, getting hungry, fly into their native McDonAld like a bullet and there already come off for everything) - are forced. I watched a movie or went to a beauty contest, and there everyone was thin and bluish (I'm talking about girls). Guys too, very thin, although strange. You look at all this variety of thin bodies, then you compare with yourself and ... you get upset regularly.

- And the people are depressed, with the virus at the ready or not, what are they doing? That's right - he has a snack. - Depression goes away from this?
- Temporarily. But then he comes back again and asks to feed her ...

This is such a vicious circle, you know. And we are in a circle. We are always running after ourselves, who does not exist, handsome, fit, cheerful and resourceful. Yes ... I almost forgot, and very muscle-pumped, as it is known that young ladies with hungry eyes are mainly interested in the pumped-up bodies of Ramb and Schwarzeneggers. That is, we stubbornly want to be someone. But not by yourself.

There is no question of women at all. One hundred out of a hundred are categorically unhappy with what they were given at birth. From the heels to the ends of the hair on the head. Well, okay, I've overdone it. Not one hundred, but ninety-nine. And the hundredth has just bad eyesight. Although recently advertisers, the rulers of our life, have realized that many cannot lose weight in any way, since not a single diet in the world works, despite the billions earned by its promoters.

No, I'm lying, she works alone. True, its name is completely unattractive for large blue screens. "Shut your mouth" is called. Simple so, though, invitingly. But it turns out it's bad. Close your mouth. But what about? There are immense sandwiches around, potatoes with meat are fried in eternal butter and macaros are floating in cheese. And the cream buns? What about chocolate? And the marmalade, and the ice cream in a waffle cup? Those few joys, our life, in general, joyless ...

Or maybe spit on it and suddenly become like yourself? The type that is - I already love this. All should not be gladiators and aerial gymnasts under the dome.

So, - the promoters of ideas began to release new fashion onto the stage, and we advertise (show, that is, who to wear what, otherwise we, brainless nerds, do not know without them. And if not them, then we will all go naked and beautiful, like Adam and Eve ...) not thin women of three types. Slightly not thin, just not thin, and very even quite anti-skinny. One nation was indignant, although the other was very happy. And let yourself out of habit compare with each other. What? This is our whole life. We compare all the time and try to become like someone. We operate, pull up, remove, insert, swing, run, jump, pull senseless weights, tennis and other bicycles ...

What for?

And to be like those who ... already ...

And this is wonderful, because it tears us away from bad, depressing thoughts and pushes us towards a beautiful future in which we can finally become someone. Although, it’s unlikely ... If you didn’t succeed in becoming yourself, then it certainly doesn’t shine with someone else ... Xia ...

Well. And the well-fed are often happy with life. Well, I'm not talking about painfully fat. Those have problems, possibly with metabolism, and some other medical disorders. I'm not talking about them. I mean that you need to live with pleasure. And if you have convinced yourself that what you are is not good, but is bad, then it is right to try to become different ... or different. While I was trying, trying, dieting, starving, looking for myself, sitting in a cave, enlightened internally, since it was dark there - you look, and life passed.

And there already, in heaven, sharply answering the questions posed by the edge, you will say so: all my life I chased like a cat behind its own tail.

- Caught up with?

- Not. But he was busy. And that's good.

Let's be busy. Anything, if only this sworn one should not think about the virus and not be afraid of its second, third and seventeenth waves.

But as?

There is a recipe. He is verified. Works like a Swiss watch:

You take a large white loaf and cut it along the entire half-meter - in half. Then, continuing to lick your lips, you spread a thick layer of harmful, fatty, dietary French oil. The French, by the way, are all on a terrible diet, they eat without stopping, twenty-four hours a day and even in a dream ... they dilute harmful coffee, and drink it with deadly harmful wine, which is why there are no fat people in France ...

On the subject: How choices change your life every day, and what to do if decisions are scary

From above, you arrange a few generously cut pieces of your favorite, no less harmful, sausage ... Then you carefully glue it to the bread with mayonnaise so that it does not slip. Then - sprinkle with good cheese on top ...

After that - a little more mayonnaise, and ... that's right ... no vegetables. They are for animals and vegetarians - enemies of animals (since they eat their food). Then - another layer of sausage ... more mayonnaise, and a second piece of loaf. You stamp the finished work on top of them - and you go. In gym.

You sit in the center so that everyone can see you. And you start doing your favorite sport appetizingly. You can salivate loudly and grunt, munch and moan loudly with pleasure. The painting, I think, is oil. Creamy. If you do this every day, then soon this gym will close, as it will drown in the saliva of athletes, which will flood it ...

But seriously, life is short. We have fun at every turn. Who wants to starve himself - starves. Who wants to overeat fatty meat, naval pasta, pasties and fish pudding… - to your health.

The main thing is to have time to escape from depression. Otherwise he will catch up. And here everything is already simple: either you run fast, or ... eat a lot.

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.

ForumDaily Woman is not responsible for the content of blogs and may not share the views of the author.

Follow success stories, tips, and more by subscribing to Woman.ForumDaily on Facebook, and don't miss the main thing in our mailing list