The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Take the helm in your own hands: how to learn how to manage your own life

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host


Life is like a drawbar: as you turn it, so it happened

(from the treasures of folk wisdom)

Фото: Depositphotos

The first 15-20 years the ship sailed without touching the shore. The shore was not visible, but it didn't matter. The ship had everything he needed: food, clothing, school, football, break fights, dates in the schoolyard after school, cartoons on TV, girls, boys, Kuprin's Pit and A Thousand and One Nights, read secretly at night, under the covers, falling in love, playing the three musketeers. And since everything was, then the thought that someone was steering our ship and we were all sailing in a given direction did not occur to me.

Then the institute, the army, work, someone's family, and over the years to 25-30 all sorts of seditious thoughts gradually began to seep into the firebrands of the unconscious proletariat, and of others, slightly covered in culture. The fog gradually dissipated and the outlines of idiocy, ugliness, mutual responsibility, and the meaninglessness of building what cannot be built began to emerge.

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Some managed to go abroad and, returning, told, albeit in a whisper in the kitchen, about how capitalism smacks of an animal face, instead of a normal, human one. This smell, despite the BAM, five-year plans ahead of schedule (for 4 years and 12 months) and the party’s unbending policy powerfully hammered by the state machine to fool the population, was not so bad. And “strawberries at six in the morning and all year round”, successfully noticed then by Zhvanetsky, who was already gaining popularity, gradually made their journey abroad, which began already in Bulgaria and Poland, a tidbit that everyone wanted to reach for, but ... few succeeded. True, rags and magazines were beautiful with naked and dressed people on the covers from behind the hillock regularly arrived. Another life stubbornly shone through and angered the eyes of the homo-Sovieticus, where, of course, a fat and disgusting bourgeois skillfully hid, oppressing black people and drinking working class blood like a cocktail through a straw.

But this is not about that. The moment has come in everyone’s life, when writing off one’s failures, blindness, misunderstanding of what reality really is, or choosing another fate, has become everyone’s choice. And those who chose epiphany left, rebelled, tried to hijack a plane, jumped into the ocean from a ship standing on a roadstead outside the Soviet prison, tried to organize demonstrations, distributed anti-Soviet literature, and so on.

It was dangerous, difficult and often with poor outcomes for all participants. But again, I'm not talking about that. Rather, I remembered our former life in order to remind myself and others of the coming moment in life when you can stop hanging dogs on those who, perhaps, are to blame for the fact that our road went not where we would have I would like it if we then understood what was happening. But they, these people and events, are already in yesterday, in which you can stay forever - or take a radically new direction of movement.

Фото: Depositphotos

On this new path, everyone takes responsibility for what is happening to him in any, separately taken, today, on himself. Although few people want to do this. The difficulty is that it is much easier and more pleasant to blame someone for your failures than yourself. So we drag this "dead horse" of the bygone days on a rope along with us. Where? What for?

"But what if?! - we say. - What if she just pretended to be dead, but in fact she is alive or at least half-dead? Suddenly it will take it, start up and ... rush like a hurricane wind. How can you leave her? It is stupid, sorry, and somehow not prudent ... "

And dragging, and pulling, and dragging the decaying corpse behind him. The shoulder strap tears into the blood, sweat floods the face, legs give way from fatigue, there is no strength anymore. Curse everything and everyone, but ... pull.

Alternative: take it, my friend, and leave it yesterday, no matter what it is, and enter today. Put your hands on the helm and ... immediately all responsibility will fall on you. Questions will fall as if from a cornucopia. Where are we going, who laid the route, what to expect there, what is the weather like there, what do we hope for, and if it doesn’t work out, but if it does, but not that, not that, not those, not that?

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It's also hard, especially from habit. And I immediately recall that childhood ship on which we were passengers. Get up when you want, food - regularly, some kind of entertainment. Sea, swimming, fun. And most importantly - zero responsibility for all this thoughtless disgrace. Swim yourself and don't blow your mustache.

Many live the first hundred years. And some, spitting (in a good sense) on what was, take life under the bridle and abruptly turn on a new path full of dangers and studded with unknowns. But his. Personal. Nobody before that has been used and therefore surprising, exciting and for the most part unpredictable.

This is what I was trying to say.

Let's make a decision. Either under someone's careful guidance - to an unknown shore, or you steer yourself - and then for every wrong turn with an oar, yes, hit you in the head. True, the oars were in hand. But, on the other hand - over the head. Although you can turn anywhere. True, for this, too, often - in the head. And you can slow down, and accelerate, and even stop. But for this, again - with the same paddle in the same place - deservedly or not ... Both options are working and are good in their own way. We choose one and then don't complain about the choice. If possible. Or we complain, but to ourselves and ... quietly.

Have you thought? Have you realized? Have you decided? Sailed!

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in Facebook.

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