Psychologist's point of view: 5 types of men with whom you cannot build relationships
'20.10.2020'
Source: Eva.ru
Even if you think your partner is the best in the world, this does not guarantee a successful marriage. Alexander Shakhov, social psychologist, expert on gender and family relations told Eva.ru about 5 male types with whom you shouldn't even try to create a strong and happy family.
Tramp
In order to confidently marry, a man must have two resources: housing (rented or mortgage is also suitable if he is able to pay for it) and free money that can be spent on a family. Often it is because of the lack of these resources that guys decide that while a serious relationship is not for them. They need to get an education first, get a job or raise their own business, earn enough money, buy an apartment, a car.
“While a man is just getting on his feet financially, he can make many sacrifices. Doing odd jobs, sleeping on a cot with friends, wearing only jeans for three years. At this time, he is not able to provide a decent standard of living for his wife and children. And even if at this stage a family is created, the man will be in anxiety and feel guilty. In addition, the lion's share of his time and energy will be spent on work, and there will simply be no internal resources left to take care of his family, ”the psychologist explained.
Men get used to it very quickly. There are wives who cook well even from a modest set of products, create coziness in the house, manage to somehow dress and shoe their children with a meager family budget. They think that the partner will see it, appreciate it, and start earning more. And the man at this time thinks: "If it is already normal, then why should I put more effort?"
One of the special cases of the vagabond is the gigolo. He may not look like a low-income man at all, make an impression. But this is a shameless manipulator who simply lives on his woman's money and is not going to take responsibility for her and potential children.
Sissy
This man can win by being affectionate, good-natured, sweet. It will delight you with beautiful words, gentle sms, long and exciting conversations. But as soon as you have to make serious decisions, your mother will immediately appear on the horizon.
“You need to check with your mother,” “you need to find out if she will approve” ... You will marry not a sweet and caring man, but his mother. And she, of course, will not be kind to you, because you are a competitor who "took away" her son. Such a woman will interfere in your life especially strongly if she is alone and has no other children, ”the specialist warned.
You can identify a mama's son by two main features. First, he is very gentle, vulnerable, romantic. Secondly, his mother takes up a significant part of his life. He often goes to visit her, helps with household chores, talks about her with all tenderness, she washes, ironing or even buys clothes for him.
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Young guy
The body of young guys under 28-29 years old produces a lot of testosterone. In principle, men have an instinct, a biological program to continue their race. Those who are older can already pacify this instinct with the help of moral principles, commitments, value systems.
Young guys are practically unable to do this. They notice sexual signals everywhere: loose hair, long legs from under a short skirt, a seductive neckline on a dress - and they can't help but think about sex. They are captivated by an excess of testosterone. They can enter into serious relationships, but in their partners they see more objects for sex than wives and mothers of their children. And very often these guys cheat.
Othello
This is a serious, confident, determined man. He makes difficult decisions for a woman, deals with her problems, which makes him seem reliable. To some extent, he is like dad - you can shift your responsibility to him. A woman might think, "There he is, a real man." But real men do not build relationships with infantile women.
“Gradually, Othello will drive his partner into frames. Limit her social circle, force her to change jobs, express dissatisfaction with her manner of dressing and painting, her cooking, gait, even her breathing. Will put forward uncompromising demands without offering an alternative and participating in discussions. And he can stifle with jealousy, throw up scandals, insult, ”added Shakhov.
The psychologist warned: Othello is a 100% manipulator. The longer a woman stays with him, the more difficult her situation becomes. After some time, he will inspire her that the world around is fraught with millions of dangers, and he is the only protection against them. A woman will be unbearable with him, but even worse and worse - without him. And since he will quarrel her with the environment, she is unlikely to be able to talk with someone about the situation, ask for help.
The specialist advised not to build relationships with men who set rigid boundaries, interfere with communicating with friends and family, and engage in professional self-realization and hobbies.
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Narcissus
This is a very attractive, charismatic, talented person who cannot be ignored. Most often, he is also good in appearance, and there is something to talk with him about. There is only one problem left: the narcissist has an absolutely cold heart.
“He gets used to being praised by everyone around him and loses touch with reality. Due to the lack of effective criticism from loved ones, he begins to believe that there is no one better than him. Therefore, he is trying to find a partner who will be just as good, but this is impossible, ”explained Alexander Shakhov.
It may seem to a woman that the narcissist has thawed, began to feel something for her, but this will be an illusion. He is able to love others only as a frame for his own ideality. Love the way they love him. If a woman gets tired, cannot endlessly admire such a man, or get sick, asking for care and support, he will immediately forget about her. And he will go to the one who can praise him.
The narcissist is, in fact, also a manipulator, and communication with him provokes a serious, painful emotional dependence. He often seems like a handsome prince, and next to him I want to believe in a fairy tale. But he will never take care of his wife, cherish, respect and value her, so attempts to build a strong family with him are futile.
