The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Meeting the newborn and older child

'27.06.2017'

Soon Timothy will be 3 of the year, and Polina 1 will be the year. I remember different moments and want to tell you how I returned from the maternity hospital with Polina and how my older brother met my newborn sister. Let me remind you that the age difference between them is 25 months.

Photo: www.instagram.com/juliatilinga

During the second pregnancy, I read various articles, talked with familiar moms and asked in my blog about your experience of having a second child in the family. Honestly, I prepared myself for the worst.

Many told creepy stories that older children begin to behave inappropriately after a newborn appears in the house - from “asking for a pacifier, a diaper and mom’s sissyu” to “lying on the floor, bellowing and growling”.

Fortunately, the meeting of our children was positive, but we have been preparing for a long time.
✔ First, I talked a lot with my eldest son, that his little sister would sleep and cry a lot, so that he would not think that she would come from the hospital and immediately sit down with him to play toys.
✔ Secondly, my spouse and I prepared several gifts for him:
* The day after the birth, my father went home and brought a cake to his son, saying that it was from his sister, showed her photos and videos.
* On the second day, when we returned home with the newborn, we presented an addition to his favorite railway - bridges and tunnels, which he had been waiting for so long. We said it was a gift from his little Pauli. He walked for a long time, thanked her after that and still remembers who gave him this gift.

Photo: www.instagram.com/juliatilinga

How was our communication in the first days after returning from the hospital:
✔ On the first day, when we only brought the baby home, the son was confused and did not know how to behave.
✔ For the next couple of days, he said that he also wanted to do everything that he did with his sister: they took her in his arms - he also wanted to take her in his arms; changed the diaper - asked him to change too; I wanted a pacifier, although I had been without her for a long time; jealous of adults.
✔ After a couple of weeks, when the schedule was more or less adjusted, it became easier for him: he knew when to talk to his sister, and when it’s better not to touch her, for example, when she’s asleep, it’s better not to wake her, otherwise she would wake up and mom will be back deal with her; knew that she needed to be handled carefully and gently - do not press, do not pull, do not jump.

We tried to keep his daily schedule and routine as much as possible:
✔ His things are his things, and if something has passed to the use of his younger sister, then it explains for a long time, in detail and several times why. In most cases, because it grew out of something. If asked to try - they gave.
✔ Walks to the pool, to visit friends were possible thanks to the grandmother, who came to the rescue.
✔ Also, the grandmother was very helpful with the housework, and this is very valuable, since the parents still have the opportunity to communicate with the older child and not cause jealousy. ⠀

Photo: www.instagram.com/juliatilinga

Of course, over the past year there were different stages. I would say that the second one is complicated when the youngest child starts crawling and getting to the elder’s personal toys. But that's another story ...

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