The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.
Bad advice that will surely come in handy in America.
'17.11.2017'
- Before arrival you can not repeat English! Just make sure you have a google translator. Language to Los Angeles will bring.
- Normal burgers in America sell only in McDonalds. God forbid you go to any other restaurant of American cuisine!
- Wear your best clothes anytime, anywhere, and girls also wear heels! And do not forget about the gold rings on each finger - so everyone will immediately understand what you are worth!
- Don't forget to drink a lot of alcohol! Be sure to walk drunk in public places, and always keep an open bottle in your car. If you are under 21 (the legal drinking age in the states), drink anyway - you are allowed in your country!
- If you are stopped by a policeman - there are 2 options: send him to hell and quickly leave; or try to bribe - the fine will still be higher!
- As often as possible uses the word negros. Anytime and anywhere. Same in Russian, Americans will not understand.
- In America, you don't have to pay taxes - you are not an American, you didn't pay them at home, and here you can even hide your income! Especially if you work for cash! Fear not, the tax authorities have a lot of work here - they count the taxes of those who pay them, they simply don't have time for you.
- Always and everywhere carry a loaded pistol - after all, Americans do that too! Resolution? No, I have not.
- Never smile at anyone or engage in conversation. All the smiles of Americans are false, mentally healthy people walk only with a gloomy face reflecting the thought “Life is pain”.
- Don't learn English, live next to other Russian speakers, use Google translator everywhere - it was not in vain that it was invented! And in general, many live like this, it's normal!
- You don't need to carry your ID with you - suddenly you will lose it! You can see from you that the best years have already passed, and why are these Americans finding fault? Let them count your forehead wrinkles - everything will become clear.
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