In America, I fell into poverty conditions: the confession of a Russian wife
'12.04.2018'
Source: Katya Matoyan, life coach and blogger from Los Angeles
Katya Matoyan - life coach and blogger from los angeles. Having received some very sad letters from women who married "foreign princes", she decided to share stories and tips on her blog. Perhaps this will help many people to finally remove their rose-colored glasses.
The main problems in relations with foreign husbands / boyfriends are emotional closeness, the gap between mentality (never believe, when they say that Russians and Americans are supposedly similar, is nonsense) and greed at the level of stinginess. I have a negative attitude towards a consumer attitude towards a man, but anyone who has set off in search of a “Russian wife” should understand that he will be required to support, including material. Foreign wife - an event (to put it mildly) is not cheap, not everyone is aware of this.
GROUP OF GRADDERS
Our women, trying to please the chosen one, start from the very beginning play by his rules - recently ran through the forum of Americans looking for wives from the former USSR (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus) and again, great - multi-page discussions about the fact that in Russia / Ukraine it is not customary to tip in restaurants - they were told about this "Russian brides". Of course, the years go by, and losers heading in search of a wife to the expanses of Mother Russia still believe that "Russian girls do not expect an engagement ring" - they told them about it too. Dear ones, well, if he is sorry to give 10% for tea in a restaurant during courtship, what can one expect in the future?
There is also a category of Americans and Europeans who believe that the very fact of the opportunity to move to their “blessed” countries of the “first world” is a great happiness, and only for this you can do anything, and you can do nothing.
SITS WATCH IN SKIPE? UNEMPLOYED LUSER!
Oh, I almost forgot - read the stories of American brides while waiting for an interview at the embassy - every second there sits at night with "beloved" on Skype / VTSAP. The diagnosis of such a peasant is a loser. All normal Americans work, many in two jobs, no one has time to talk with her friend for hours. This is a red flag, girls! It’s still good if he's just unemployed, and if he is on disability in psychiatry? Rose-colored glasses also do not fall off the nose when the transatlantic bridegroom begins to “take care”, but in fact controls every step - “I saw you in the messenger, why I didn’t write, I was so bored” - and these are just flowers. If I could, I would personally hold a conversation with each woman about how to recognize the future abuzer (a person who is prone to violence, psychological and physical) - such manifestations of “love” do not end well, believe me.
That's almost direct speech unhappy wife of an Americanwho, in a small Russian town, exposed himself as a millionaire and promised mountains of gold, and even made a contest thereAmerican's next top wife". In fact - a farm in the hole, and in Russia went to the last. Read below the direct speech of the unfortunate woman:
“Upon arrival, I was in poor conditions, the house was falling apart, the roof was flowing, I repaired it myself. Despite half a starvation and finances completely undermined by foreign marriage, we played a wedding in a big way, with the purchase of an expensive dress, a ring, an invitation to all relatives. After the wedding, the ring was handed back to the store, the dress was sold, it was very hard financially.
I have never made scenes, pocket money is always at the level of 100 dollars a month - not a problem. I worked, cleaned, repaired, I did not scandal. We live on a farm, a lot of housework - I combined everything and did everything.
House 7000 Sq. ft (almost 700 sq. meters).
Cleaning checked in white gloves, allowed himself to yell at me ... a bunch of other things that are both painful and embarrassing to tell. As a birthday, I gave lipstick and told me for a long time that as many as 7 dollars are worth.
.. while serving the entire farm, I kept the old and crumbling house in shape.
He was looking for a wife abroad for about a year, then he waited for me for almost a year, spent so much money and effort - and all in order to send me three letters after four years. I don't see any sense in his actions absolutely. Now I think about everything - from the version that I have found a new one, younger and more beautiful, to mental illness and temporary insanity ... ".
Imagine, after all this, a woman is upset by divorce! This is almost the Gestapo conditions - check cleaning white gloves! And there is also a farm, a large yard in which she cut grass, cooking ... And now she does not understand and is upset, why the divorce? Like everything was good, and you! What a loss of connection with reality!
Moreover, she signed a marriage contract, “where it is said that while she lives in his house, she is not responsible for any payments related to the maintenance of this house, but must clean and maintain the house is normal and is financially responsible, if due to non-fulfillment of the above obligations, the husband will incur financial losses ”- would you sign it? And what changes in my head when a foreigner appears as a future husband, so that a woman can lose her mind and agree to anything? The man found what he was looking for - free labor, wrote out his wife - a wordless slave, used it and threw it out.
We must be aware that some American husbands use “Russian wives” as cleaners, baby sitters for a lot of children from previous marriages - and the more loser, the more children, children often get sick, mainly mental illnesses and suffer aggression, that is, care for them is harder than for normal children. Our girls also prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner, wash, and even manage to work with it, for example, to pack bags or clean rooms in hotels and buy their own clothes!
BREAK YOURSELF AND PLEASE!
How is such a situation normal in international marriage? It is perfectly normal, because “free food, a roof over your head, medical insurance, they also earn money on the side - just fabulous conditions. In exchange, prepare food and clean the house - not so hot what work ”is practically a quote from the advice of experienced“ Russian ”wives. About the normality of humiliation and agreement that "you have not come here for happiness," says any discussion of such situations in groups of "American wives" in social networks. Something like this will tell you about your complaints: “Show love and tenderness to him, then you have to break yourself, praise him more, sit quieter than water below the grass, no requests and demands, spread under your husband, please by any means” - aaaa! !! But why is it needed, such a life?
Typical advice from the wise experience of humble compatriots - “get in the eye less”, “you are not in a position to show character”, “agree with everything” - yes, you cannot count on the support of the Russian-speaking community! ... You will tell me that the same thing can happen at home - of course, maybe, but at home we have a house, parents, and here such wiped wives sit in a hole, the nearest store - half an hour by car, not a soul or deeply provincial neighbors with difficulty understanding your English ...
