'Left the country - betrayed his family': opinion on the popular immigration myth
'17.11.2022'
More than 2,5 years ago, the author of the channel "The life of an emigrant" on Yandex.Zen moved to Austria and decided to run his own channel about life in immigration. During this time, he wrote over 1000 articles about how an ordinary immigrant lives in a new country for him. But often in the comments to the articles, different versions of one thought appeared: immigration is a betrayal of the family, unacceptable behavior towards relatives and friends. The author decided to understand this thesis a little and understand what is true and what is not. Further - from the first person.
Immigration and stress
When you move to a new country, you are always stressed because you have left your comfort zone. At home, everything is familiar and understandable, simple and predictable, but even in an ordinary new city, you have to start all over again. For most immigrants, this means that you need to take the first steps anew: look for acquaintances and friends, work, places to rest, and so on.
For many, this is an overwhelming work, and people often close. They begin to recreate their old comfort zone in a different environment, which is not intended for this. This often leads to longing for “barbecue with friends”, for childhood and for his past. It ends with the fact that a person returns. But this is due not to moving to another country, but to the fact that the immigrant himself could not and did not want to adapt to a new life. I have friends who returned to Krasnodar from Moscow.
Relatives and relatives
Almost all my life I lived in the capital of the most remarkable region - Krasnodar. I am still convinced that Krasnodar is the best city in Russia by a huge number of external and internal rules. Also in the Cossack region there were always strong family ties. If a birthday is celebrated, then 50 people come, if a wedding, then all 300. And this is still a modest event.
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Personally, I always did not like it. This does not mean that it is bad. It’s just not for me. Nevertheless, the freedom of someone with whom I communicate, make friends and interact is an important component of how a person has grown as a person. If your only friend and comrade in life is your closest relative who will love you and forgive you all, you may need to think about your own behavior.
Immigration and loved ones
Moving to Austria, like moving to another city in Russia, is almost always the same event as the beginning of an independent life without parents. There comes a time when your life changes a lot. It may be related to work, health, or a desire to live where it is convenient. And here it is important to understand: if love for relatives and friends is so deep and uncontrollable, then how can you create your own family?
After we moved to Austria, my communication with relatives only improved and became more specific. Every my visit is a holiday for my relatives and my friends. We see each other, communicate, observe all traditions. But the most important thing is that now my parents and my wife's parents have a new entertainment - a trip to my wife and me in Austria. This is an opportunity for them not only to travel. This is a little different. They come to visit their children and are happy for them.
In fairness, I must say that I do not continue to communicate with all my relatives after immigration, as well as not with all my friends. Some people dropped out, some quite sharply and noticeably aggressively, some simply because there is already little that connects us. Generally speaking, my family, of course, miss them, as I do, but this cannot be a guide to action.
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Instead of a conclusion
There are a lot of myths about immigration, and often they are based either on the military standards of two warring countries, or on fears of changing something. And if a person is comfortable where he was born, that's great, and he doesn't need to change anything. But it is also important to remember that if you want to find something of your own in life, you must always look forward, move and not cling to your own fears. And the borders of states have nothing to do with it.
Original column published on the blog. "The life of an emigrant" on Yandex.Zen
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