The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

'You lost so much weight!': Why this is a bad compliment


A source: Adme

In our society, it is customary to comment on the appearance of women and admire the model parameters. I do not like this trend. It is believed that the words “you have recovered” are unpleasant for the girl to hear, and the phrase “you are so thin” is a compliment. Explain why it is not.

Photo: Shutterstock

We often do not know the reason for the weight change.

Weight loss is not always good. A person may become slimmer due to illness, a traumatic experience or depression. In these cases, the words “you look wonderful” will sound harsh: this is the last thing that anyone who has lost weight from pain, stress and negative experiences wants to hear.

Not so long ago, the actress Lina Dunham experienced a similar situation. In 2017, she was very thin. Fans showered her with compliments, glossy magazines also rushed to eulogistic articles. Then the star of the “Girls” series said that she had undergone a difficult operation, suffered from constant anxiety and nausea. “My weight loss is not a triumph,” Lina wrote. Dunham was much happier when she returned to her previous size.

Such compliments support eating disorders.

About 9% of the world's population suffers from anorexia, bulimia and other types of eating disorders. These are dangerous mental illnesses that can be fatal. If a person who is just beginning to restrain himself in food or induce vomiting, hears from his friends an admiring “you are so thin”, then he may decide that frustration is good.

On the subject: 'No offense, but ...': 10 things you should stop telling people

Blogger Megan Jane Crabbe fought anorexia. The girl started a profile in instagram, where she publishes her photos during her illness and now to tell the world how she almost died trying to meet beauty standards. Megan, like many others losing weight, heard a lot of compliments when she just started to lose weight.

People still return to their previous weight.

Doctors confirm: diets do not work. 95% lost weight returning to the previous kilograms in 1 – 5 years. This is because the ideal weight for us (and it often does not meet accepted standards in society) is determined by genetics. But, of course, proper nutrition and sport can make us healthier and change the quality of the body.

Compliments to a changed figure only increase the shame of people when they return to their former form.

Fixation on thinness harms society as a whole

Fashion industry, glossy magazines, popular films, advertising and other areas of modern life continue to make a cult of a young and slim body. Every compliment to a built friend confirms a very harmful idea: the value of a person depends on his appearance. People who are convinced of this, agree to spend a lot of money on expensive clothes, cosmetics and plastic surgery. It turns out that our obsession with thinness is beneficial only to brands that want to earn on it?

On the subject: Personal experience: why skinny girls feel guilty

What to do?

Instead of the compliment “you are so thin”, choose the one that actually brings joy. Tell the person that you are happy to see him. Note that he has the coolest jokes. Rate his ability to listen. Tell me how nice it is to spend time with him. You can find hundreds of good words that will not concern your appearance.

How do you feel about the compliment "you lost weight"? Are you pleased to hear it or do you agree that it is better not to focus on the figure?

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