American Wedding: a gift in cryptocurrency and an invitation for the year
'30.06.2018'
Yulia Yarmolenko
- Julia, what are you doing on the second weekend of June 2018?
“Um… I don’t know.
- Do not plan anything, you are invited to the wedding.
It was March 2017, a week earlier my flatmate's boyfriend proposed to her, they decided not to waste time and choose a date almost immediately. And while it wasn’t clear to me why they should wait so long, by American standards they were obviously taking a risk, leaving just over a year for planning. The main reason, as it turned out, is the bride's dress.
Say "YES!" To the dress
For a “correct” wedding in America, it is advised to start looking for a dress no later than 10 months before the ceremony - a concept for me, frankly, a little complicated - because during this time not only can the style of the dress be rethought, but also the desire to get married. You cannot go hunting for “that dress” without being properly armed. You need to know at least three basic things: style (princess, mermaid or A-line; lace: yes or no, shoulders open-closed; sequins mode: on or off), location of the ceremony and budget. From the experience of this search, I can say that the bride's views on the perfect dress change with each new salon, but the budget for the mother who pays for the outfits does not. A normal budget in Washington (according to the interviewed brides) starts at $ 1500, it has no border, but, according to statistics, on average, in the American capital, no more than $ 2000 is spent on a dress. Here you should remember that choosing a dress is just the beginning. Then it is ordered, delivered and hemmed (two fittings). The closer to the wedding, the more expensive this service will be. My friend from New York paid $ 1000 for her dress and $ 500 for the hem.
Why can't you just buy a dress from a hanger and not wait for an unknown amount of time until it arrives? It is possible, and some of the brides do this when they are looking at the last moment, but this is not considered an ideal option: like - it is not clear how many brides in that outfit were sweating in front of you, trying on.
In the case of my neighbor, she found “that” dress on the third day of her search, in the third salon, on the day when we (the jury) had already lost all hopes that she would choose at least something. And the groom - he bought his suit in a wholesale store, having received the outfit as a gift for the action: his friends bought four suits and they got the fifth as a gift. The whole trip, along with the road and a short snack, took less than two hours.
Location, location, location
Of course, you should not choose a dress without knowing the location of the wedding itself. And this is another reason why Americans plan the “right” wedding in advance - the ideal location can be booked months and even years in advance. My neighbor knew where she wanted to get married even before her beloved appeared on the horizon, so she booked the date right away. Location - a farm in the mountains of North Carolina - the bride's "happy place". And although most of the guests had to get there by plane and car, more than a hundred guests arrived.
One click gift
My neighbor decided to send an invitation to the wedding by mail, although now many couples simply choose an email with a link to a website where you can agree or refuse to come to the wedding. On the paper invitation, this couple, however, had a website address where they could answer and, most importantly, revise the list of desired gifts with a direct link to the websites where they can be ordered. You press, choose, pay - and the gift is automatically sent to the couple's apartment and deleted from the list. Another option is to add money to the honeymoon fund - as much as you like. By the way, on the wedding site of another friend of mine, there were only two options: a cash contribution in dollars and a gift in cryptocurrency (bitcoins and others). One way or another, at the wedding itself: no envelopes, ten sets of unnecessary bedding and terrible glasses with poppies. Only what the couple really needs. By the way, nobody brings flowers to the wedding. The only not very convenient moment for me personally, as the bride's neighbors, was that gifts began to arrive at our apartment 5 months before the wedding, so the house turned into a mini-warehouse.
Do not strip the only
If your idea of a bachelorette party in America coincides with mine, then I want to disappoint you: the most naked person at that party was me. The bride forbade her friends to order a stripper (and I really wanted to see how they look in the Caroline Mountains), and the theme of the party - “crazy 90s” - they and I understood differently. The bride came in a kid's denim overalls and with ponytails, and I - in a short overalls skirt and large zipper earrings. “You Europeans were cool in the 90s” - that's the only way the girls commented on my outfit. In the end, this bachelorette party struck me as much more interesting than what I imagined. The girls shared great memories with the bride, looked through old photos, made a bunch of new ones - on Polaroid, played a "love quiz" and ate junk food. And when a strong man with a mustache and five pizzas in his hands knocked on the door, another non-American bridesmaid, a girl from India exclaimed with delight: “Well, finally - a stripper” and was very upset when everyone, laughing, still convinced her, that he only delivers food. The bachelor party, as it turned out, ended at 8 pm. The guys played golf, went to the mountains, had a steak dinner and went to bed. And this is not an isolated case. Another friend of mine told me that his bachelor party began with a two-hour group session in a rocking chair, and ended with a game of poker at the groom's father's house.
The dangerous word "Wedding Party"
One thing I understood for sure: if you are a part of the so-called “Wedding Party” ”(wedding entourage), it means that all four days (so much the wedding lasted) you will only change dresses, eat, drink and polish the“ pitch ”( empty talk), and the ceremony itself will seem only a 30-minute drop in the sea of wedding events. Bachelorette party, bridesmaids lunch, wedding rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding breakfast and finally ceremony. New to me: at a dinner for bridesmaids, everyone gives the bride gifts, compliments and photos. At the dinner on the occasion of the rehearsal, only the closest relatives and friends gather, parents and siblings make toasts. And to be honest, this was my favorite part of the wedding. The toast of the bride's father was very moved, and I finally got into the spirit of the wedding, crying for several months in advance.
Mosquitoes love
I drew several conclusions from the ceremony. First, I say a clear no to painting in the field. First: mosquitoes, secondly, mosquitoes. The air that evening was filled with not only love, but also the alcoholic smell of mosquito spray - thanks to the diligence of the bride's aunt. And besides: it was beautiful. The female presenter combined the traditions of two religions, professing the bride and groom, and before declaring them spouses, she read a deep poem by the Lebanese philosopher about “melting in love”, which I immediately googled and saved for the future. It seems that the most important part of the ceremony here is the marriage promises - which made me cry a second time, especially when the groom paused after each line to suppress the tears. Guys, girls, that was great.
With and without dancing
While the newlyweds were taking pictures with their parents and local ponies against the backdrop of the mountains, the first glasses of sangria and local beer, which the neighboring town of Asheville is famous for, were already poured to the guests. By the way, these drinks quickly ran out, and the guests, without waiting for a couple, began to drink wine. At this wedding, the guests were offered a buffet table - the guests, according to the table number, took turns coming to the place with food: meat or fish to choose from, three side dishes, and later - cake and pastries. The tables were not bursting with food, but no one had to drink the bag. At the wedding, the band of the bride's brother played first, and later the DJ, who set the rhythm for the party. A minimum of words, no games, dances. The hit of the party was a macarena with the participation of half of the guests and some unknown dance to a hip-hop song of the 90s, which was known to all invited Americans under the age of 40. At 10 pm it was all over - after that time you shouldn't make noise in the mountains. And although the friends were having an afterparty (a party after a party), the newlyweds went to bed to the applause of the guests and the hissing of sparklers. And the smell of burnt fires reminded me of the New Year, I wanted tangerines and Olivier.
How much this particular wedding cost, the bride's parents (who, in fact, paid and were organizing) did not tell. On average, the cost of a wedding in Washington is $ 36. However, many couples that I know personally refuse large-scale festivities and get married quietly in the circle of the closest people - with a beautiful ceremony on the beach in California or on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. A concept that, in my opinion, perfectly combines two opposite things - romance and rationality.
The original column is published on the website. Ukrainian service “Voice of America”.
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