Supermarket love or online dating in New York
'30.08.2017'
“How much do you want your next relationship to last?”, Asks the dating application immediately after registration, sending it to the “questions” category.
There are a lot of questions. They are all varied to indecency: from “How often do you take a shower?” And “What is more: the Sun or the Earth?” To “Do you have a passport?” And “Carbohydrates - is that what you think?”. On the basis of such simple personal data you can seehow many percent match the pair. The answers are visible to everyone interested or just passing by. Probably not, most likely ... If the answer is “Earth is bigger than the Sun”, I will not go on a date with this applicant, proposing to privatize my genitals for the night or whatever. Since such a man has to have charisma, what ... so, anyway, no. And he lived, as shown by geolocation, in some New Jersey town, either Small Khera or Murkin's Buttocks. And this is not very conducive to love. Charisma in this case is mind and ingenuity, if that, and not what you had time to think, my snobbish, lascivious bunnies. However, I was distracted.
These questions are designed to help two lonely hearts meet and turn into love sailing ships in order to sail in a boat of happiness in the same boat.
But let's discard this utter nonsense, which is usually said by a woman who looks 25-50 years old with “cotton candy” on her head, and then wants what you don’t wish the enemy, that is, all the very best.
Online dating today as a supermarket of love - so many beautiful packages that eyes scatter. There are different departments: vegetable, with dented life and mortgage barrels; bread, with French baguette, white, African American bread, and Persian gingerbread; Rows of Merry Milkman with bifidobacteria useful for the body. You can set the parameters of interest: “quick hit” with the ability to turn on geolocation settings and search nearby, filter everything that can be defended, choose a suitable religion, favorite forbidden substances, annual income, presence or absence of offspring, curly, thick, glass, tin, wooden, “in terrible rosettes”. Just manage to move the thumb of the right hand - right or left. That is, like / dislike accordingly. And if you drop all gays, mentally ill, Republicans and Chinese - the result will surprise. There are so many people in New York that the choice is huge. And not especially they suffer in the dark winter evenings, because what? Right. Following!
Though people and not alarm clocks: they do not turn on, they themselves appear.
The non-disclosure by the psychoanalyst of private information about patients with their unrequited "love" keep silent
In general, I am not a fan of personal data like “How is your typical Friday night” and “not involved / didn’t have / am not in” in particular. Moreover, men in the dating applications do not look at this at all, or rather not at all at all. Photo area of residence. Everything! How often she meditates, owl or lark, whether her spelling mistakes are annoying, and that by profession she is a second-level sleeper, with a third dimension of charisma - none of this is important for someone who just wants to walk his Casanova or trekking in City Hall. Lying, of course. The third dimension of charm participates in competitions, but is not automatically a prize. In the context of online dating photography - to understand “I want, I do not want.”
The location is elementary for convenience. If she lives in Chicago, and he in Philadelphia, it is unlikely that something will turn out. Airports, time, money. Oh ... And let them be addicted to writing the continuation of “Star Warrior” and both compare their horoscopes with the parsley directory, but it is better to turn off Netflix, remove brandy, and stop pulling the giraffe's neck in vain illusions about something from a distance. Although okay, good cognac can be left. And yet fill in the profile at least something, give a clue already, to which you can respond, respond, comment, having rid of the usual “hello, how are you”.
“If you cook a mermaid - will it be fish or meat?”, I wrote in the column “What worries you the most”.
"The upper part will be meat, the bottom - the fish." I received this answer three or four times a day.
Sometimes, of course, there were impulses to speak out like a loader in a piano factory and whip the wits with a long loaf, but that's bad luck - innate modesty did not allow to spread man's dignity in rags.
And the correct answer is heartburn, even if the mermaid is left raw.
At some point, dating really begins to resemble interviews with the same questions, when very briskly, with an amphetamine smile, they are asked: “Where are you from?”, “Long time in new york?", "What are you doing?". And only then talk about your favorite music, food and travel. Everyone loves music, food and travel. Someone regularly replenishes the playlist with new items, someone exploring all the establishments of the city with the first letter L in the name, others booking an air ticket or leafing through the magazine "National Geographic". There are those who see gummy bears as food and travel from Manhattan to Staten Island as a journey, but not the point. The main thing is not to give out too much information to an unfamiliar person. According to the rules of good manners, it is customary not to talk about yourself especially, to maintain a chaste distance so as not to upset the interlocutor in advance. And in the sweat of your brow, have a casual conversation. Nothing, except, perhaps, violent sex from time to time, seizing from behind, also very independently, so as not to inadvertently violate the boundaries of personal space.
In New York, not having plans for Saturday is simply indecent. Therefore, everything should be planned in advance, even love.
Sometimes lying, of course, about some existing plans, stumbling over the words. But if you blurt out, then blurt confidently, thus increasing its importance. On Friday and Saturday, people try to arrange their personal lives.
Although the word date - does not sound very much. Rather, it can be called an attempt. “I've tried one man here” or “I'm going to try one girl on Saturday”. Yet in fact every now and then they try and try. Like a new suit: will not fit; size, color, style. You can immediately happily give up either looking for big money, or remain in thought, still take home, but just remember that after thirty days you can return back.
They say it is easier to give a bore than to explain why he is a bore, but let's hide the horse from the birthday boy so that he does not rejoice in advance.
Actually, Alex was nothing. Is that a little nutty. It turned out to be so boring that it caused toxicosis. Although I would prefer a taxi.
“Sit and be quiet, give the guy a chance. Look what a gentleman he is all right and elegant as a piano. ” And even though I was smiling from the last forces, probably, the expression on my face was giving off with giblets. Because after some time I found under my drink an unknown cloth that I took from it, written with a blue pen. The inscription in printed English letters read: “Obviously, you are bored. Call me". And a phone number. Oh, I did not want to be disappointed. Therefore, in my memory, the stranger from the bar will forever remain the magnificently alpha male. Alex still occasionally calls for a party, then to Japan.
In response, I refer to an easy pregnancy - a proven way to get rid of unwanted admirers. He is not at the age to borrow a large sum from him - also a good old method. And then he will give inadvertently.
But recently called my good friend from Los Angeles. He used to live in New York. But then all of a sudden, and it usually happens, new girls ended. It seems to me that he was the only one who moved to California, and not because he had been working for a long time.
“I decided to do an experiment. Put on the profile photo with a naked torso. You will not believe - I have eight messages almost instantly! ”.
Just a friend thinks that a half-naked photo for men is like a duck face for women. Moveton.
“So, I met one recently. She turned out to be an orthodox nun. Former, but it does not change things! And we had sex. ”
“One important question: did she shout in the process“ Oh my God! ”?” I asked.
“I think I’ve reached a peak. Only until I can not understand: the peak of the top or bottom. But another thing torments me: does she have a nun's dress ”.
Double, and sometimes triple reserve on the same day and time, men make. I didn't believe in the beginning. It turned out to be true, and, by the way, I am on their side. It turns out that girls often postpone a meeting at the very last moment and without explanation, or even do not come at all at the agreed place. Men, as a rule, do not do that. If we have already agreed, then the ringing bells lead them, with charm at the ready. The only thing they do is exactly the same - if suddenly the 8 photo from 10 finally responded by agreeing to meet.
In this case, 6 or 7 out of 10 are postponed to another day or canceled altogether. Where 10 is the highest rating for sexuality, and 1 is Conchita Wurst.
Anton on the first date leads the girls to the park. So he checks to see if she came to eat for free. When it turns out that only for the sake of Anton alone, and in general she immediately saw the prince in him, together with the horse and the kingdom to the bargain, only then Anton takes his and her rumbling stomachs into the restaurant. There should be a quote from the user of Anton’s online-de-play application, justifying such a trick with paying the bill. However, I am not sure that his “damn it” is a comment, the use of which corresponds to my personal editorial policy. Wait a second. As the internal editor just suggested to me, “damn it,” Anton behaves in this way - you can use it.
There is a very silly but equally important question in the dating application: "Are you ready to meet someone in real life?" On the one hand, the reaction is obvious: if not ready - why the hell signed up, right? So yes, so no. If we take it as an axiom that everyone needs love (no matter what they say and whoever ejaculates with), then it turns out that this is a responsibility, the most that neither is. On whom to load such a burden. “Here's my love. Now you are responsible for her. " Just as unfair. The other person needs to be willing and ready too. “Man, man, yes, you! I go here and watch: you carry love, barely holding back so as not to splash. Let me help you". And he suddenly stumbles and - balls love on this good man. And she might just walk for sausages, she didn't even think about anything like that.
There is no guarantee of reciprocity in online dating in New Yoke. If you want to have a guarantee, there is nothing better than just buying a toaster.
