Fear is real and not so: is it worth fighting with
“How to deal with fear?” I was asked. And I ... that's right. I thought about it.
Fears are of two kinds. The first is the reaction to what is happening. A lion is running at you. You looked up and saw a huge meteorite rushing towards the ground. You were told that you are terminally ill ...
At this moment, a whole group of motion picture producers is born in the head. The scriptwriter rushes first. He was followed by actors, extras, make-up artists, costume designers, decorators, cameramen ... A lot of participants. And you instantly start watching the horror movies they have created. I will clarify: created you horror films. How to destroy the entire team of “tenants” who have illegally settled in your head, and in general, is it possible to do this? That's the question.
We think. We argue.
If you are making these films, you probably can… not. Right? And if you do not create, then ... there will be no need to fight with the created. Do you agree?
But, perhaps, the lion is running on the movie screen, and the cars are moving, albeit at high speed, but not with the aim of crashing into you, but simply each in his own lane ... And the chance that a man can get pregnant and he will need to give birth, though, they say it is, but very insignificant.
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Remembering about the last fifty "invented and choreographed" fears, you will understand that most of them (or even all) did not materialize.
So. What have we come to? We came to the conclusion that in most cases we ourselves invent fears.
That is, they actually do not exist. And it is impossible to fight against something that does not exist, just as it is impossible to eat a fantastical sandwich and wash it down with a diet cola painted on the wall of the house ... This is from good news.
If I do not work well, I can be fired. If she thinks that I do not love enough, she can leave me. If I don't know how to raise children correctly, then I will most likely raise them incorrectly. If I don't make enough money, I may not be able to cover the costs. If I forget the material, I will not pass the exam, fail the session, fail to graduate from the university, grow up to be a dunce and achieve nothing good in life (often a parental scenario for the younger generation).
Let's start with the fact that none of the above is present, or not yet, and most likely - never will be. It is important to understand this and count from here. Can the husband be an alcoholic? Can. But while my husband is gone, and you are only fourteen, I recommend removing this topic from the agenda. Can a meteorite fall on your head? Can. Even the whole planet can, or an iron accidentally dropped from the sixteenth floor, or a TV, or a jacuzzi with water, and there are six happily rushing hippos in it ...
Who comes up with "horror movies" inside? Those who are bored and not interested in life outside. Therefore, advice number one is to be interested in everything outside. By the way, there are many interesting things there. And people, and nature, and events. The more you live in the real world, the less you need to come up with scary scenarios in your head. They are invented (consciously or not) out of boredom, for poignancy, for a surge of emotions, fresh experiences, in order to paint a black and white life with bright colors. Understand and believe that this is so.
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Yes, of course, if something happened, then fears creep into the head on their own, although, in truth, we still launch them there. A meteorite can burn up in the atmosphere without reaching the ground, or it can simply fall nearby. The diagnosis may be wrong. The disease can be defeated, children can be brought up correctly (you were somehow brought up by non-professional educators?), A lion from the screen, perhaps, will not jump into the hall. And even if he does jump, then there, in the hall, there are still a lot of people, besides you. What if he gets enough first, and it's not you? He will eat and ... go to bed. And you quietly, safe and sound escape from the cinema?
Don't want to live in fear and suffering from it? Do not invent something that does not exist yet. Don't let a group of filmmakers enter your head. If you let me in, they will take pictures of this for you there ... it will not seem a little. And remember: there are desperate situations, but very rarely. Once in a difficult one - do not waste your energy and time on “promoting the worst case scenario”. Look for a solution in the direction of the best. Search - and most likely you will find. The chance is very high. I am telling you this for sure, in all seriousness.
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