The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Is it worth moving to America, and how to understand if you have settled down there or it's time to return

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host

07.10.2021, 15: 53 EST

One hundred questions, one hundred answers. One hundred forks - one hundred roads ...

Photo: Shutterstock

What is immigration? Search, escape, knowledge of the unknown, testing yourself for a fortress, what else?

This is an examination for endurance, for the stability of the nervous system. Here is the search for answers to questions: can I, is it true that at home it is still better, will I take root, am I a man of the world, or not? ..

And with fifty more questions wandering in people's heads, the answers to which today's immigrants are looking for moving from place to place. They are looking for themselves, leaving their place in search of happiness, financial well-being, fertile soil, opportunities for growth. They want a new field of action for their fantasies, fresh ideas, arrangement of their personal life. Why are they going? Break out of the circle after listening to the stories of those who left and remained, as well as those who left - and who returned. Both those and others include in young hotheads new, unused modes of acuity, danger, adventurism, novelty, which may have been paused or seemed not at all inherent in one or another individual.

So, where to go, whether to go - and what are the signs that you have taken root, or, conversely, is it time to return?

I will not say about other countries, although I suspect that there is a similar situation there. I will say about mine - the one where I have already lived for the fourth decade. The country that sheltered me. A stranger, without a passport (since the native state, forcing him to pay seven hundred rubles, took away their passports from all those leaving). Yes, it was a long time ago, and, probably, none of today's people leaving it is clear why they did it. But it was so.

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America is a country of endless possibilities, but life is not easy, not easy, surviving its storms and struggling with its problems. And where are they not, and why can they not be somewhere?

Now I'll tell you a strange thing. Only those who are in love with her in absentia can go here. Whoever thinks that stupid blinkered Americans live here should choose another country. It's as stupid as marrying for convenience, of convenience, knowing that your wife is ugly and stupid (especially if you always wanted smart and beautiful). Sooner or later, such a combination will end badly, by the way - for all participants.

You can even fall in love with a picture, and even with a country about which so much has been said, shown and written ... much easier. Without having any special feelings for her, it’s probably better not to try. This love, faith, hope, will support the newcomer in difficult times, and there will be a lot of them, do not hesitate. For the majority, this is exactly what happens. Many came to conquer America. Most did not succeed. This does not mean that they all returned home, since this country did not become their home. But they live here as a guest, where you are because you cannot return home, it is dangerous, or because your house is no longer at all ... burned down ... drowned ... dissolved. You can probably live like that. But personally, I would not have been able to, and if I had not felt at home here, I would have tried to move or even come back. Although without a passport I probably would not have been accepted back. Or they would have been accepted and imprisoned ... for violating the passport regime ... or as a traitor to the motherland.

But, fortunately, I didn't have to. So that's it. Coming here with the aim of settling down, you need to trust the process. It is different for everyone and proceeds with varying degrees of pain: very painful, just painful, aching, not very comfortable, tolerant, unbearable, and you need to leave. I am afraid that no one will tell you exactly which category you will fall into when preparing for the move or even when crossing the border. But - exactly one of them.

What is it necessary to prepare for and is it possible to prepare at all?

I'm afraid it's difficult or impossible to prepare. A similar example: is it possible to prepare for marriage, and if so, how? What subject to repeat, what books to read, what do you need to be ready for? I do not know. This is me - about marriage.

Therefore, if I came to the United States today, then, as far as possible, I would not rush to choose the direction of movement: study (where and for whom), work (the questions are the same), volunteering, etc. Today, unlike us, who left thirty or forty years ago into complete obscurity, the whole world is open. You can, sitting in any dilapidated village on the other side of the world, in a month or two shove through a lot of materials related to life in America, its customs, rules, culture, laws. Find friends, classmates, sometimes even distant relatives online and get invaluable information from them that will save time and money, help you decide in advance what you need, as well as (and this is no less important) what you do not need to take with you, do , study. I think that the language is still the most important "baggage". Although as a person who spent a lot of time and money on learning a language there, in the Soviet Union, I will say ... The language learns the fastest where you cannot speak any other ... That is, in the environment. But grammar, five to seven hundred words, can be learned in advance.

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The main thing is not to be afraid, not to be carried away, to forget what was where you came from, and to treat what is happening around (already being here) as a child who delights in everything that he sees. And he sees sweets, because he is in a store, exclusively in sweets and selling.

Hello and good luck to everyone on this thorny immigrant path.

P.S. And how to understand that you have taken root or that it is time to return?

It's simple. If you wake up happily in the morning and feel that you are at home (this can happen in a month, a year or ten), it means that you have settled down and everything will be fine. And if you are unhappy with everything, and eighty percent of what flies out of your mouth is criticism of the environment, and you always compare this uncomfortable life with the cozy one that you left behind ... then it's time to return. Therefore, foreign land is not for you. And there is nothing wrong here. She was never for everyone. And this is the ultimate truth.

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in facebook.

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