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Senior, middle, junior: how does a child influence the order in which he appears in a family

'31.03.2021'

Source: deti.mail.ru

It turns out that this circumstance has a huge impact not only on the development of children, but also on their health and even on their fate.

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The Reader's Digest magazine gathered expert opinions and recent research on this topic, writes deti.mail.ru.

1. Older children are born leaders.

“First-born children, until younger children are born, receive the maximum of parental attention,” explains Mary Wallace, a child and family psychologist. “It allows them to grow into confident, strong personalities.”

First-born children often take leadership positions, they love that everyone adheres to the rules and routine, and is very persistent in achieving their goals. We should not also forget that parents often ask older children to help them look after younger ones and charge them with household chores. It also develops a sense of responsibility and strengthens leadership skills.

2. Older kids are the smartest

Many studies, including the most recent (its results were published in 2017 year in the Journal of Human Resources) demonstrate that the firstborn have on average a higher IQ than the next children in seniority.

Parents have more opportunities to stimulate the development of the intelligence of older children.

Dads and moms just have more time and energy to talk with one child, read to him, explain something. “The firstborn usually have a wider range of words, they early learn to think like adults, which is why they are so responsible,” explains a psychologist from the University of Georgia and a leading expert on the subject Linda Campbell.

However, such additional parental attention has a downside: they demand more from older children than from younger ones, and they feel this pressure. “First-born children may become perfectionists, they may worry that if they do not cope with something, they will not be appreciated and loved,” explained Wallace.

3. Older children susceptible to food allergies and hay fever

One of the most likely explanations for this phenomenon is that parents too carefully protect the firstborn from germs. While younger children, from birth, encounter viruses and bacteria that are brought from school or kindergarten by older ones.

In addition, by the time the younger parents are born, parents are already more relaxed and calm towards the dirt, and they do not rush to disinfect the nipple that fell on the floor or on the ground, as was the case with the firstborn. That is why their immune system develops normally and the risk of abnormal reactions to food, pollen or other allergens is lower.

4. Middle children have to be creative.

Usually, parents are too busy with the problems of the older child and taking care of the younger child, so the average is often outside the sphere of parental attention and feels lost. On the one hand, he follows in the footsteps of the elder, and on the other, he does not understand who he really is, that is, he has problems with self-identification.

The average child has to find his niche, try to attract attention, and this awakens his creativity. In addition, his parents' expectations are not as heavy on him as on the older one. That is why among artists, artists and rock musicians there are many middle children.

5. Middle children are good diplomats

After all, they often have to settle quarrels between older and younger brothers and sisters. “Middle children know how to deal with people, search for compromises, build relationships, resolve conflicts, because this is what they often have to do in the family. They are able to see things from different angles, and they value honesty and justice, ”explained Wallace.

Perhaps that is why good politicians and diplomats are made from middle children. In addition, the ability to compromise helps the average children in adult family life.

Middle children often have happier marriages than older and younger ones.

6. Middle children are more prone to depression

Perhaps this is due to lower self-esteem than that of older and younger children, as well as a lack of attention from parents.

7. Large families are most reflected in middle children.

The more children in the family, the worse the average children, the more pronounced they are problems with self-identification and lack of attention of parents. At the same time, the presence of a large number of brothers and sisters has practically no effect on the eldest and the youngest; in the same way, they remain in the focus of parental attention.

8. Younger children often become entrepreneurs.

Although the youngest occupy a special place in the hearts of parents, in the family they are often not taken seriously. Older brothers and sisters do not always treat them with affection, are jealous of their parents, do not accept them into their games, drive them out of their rooms, and so on. As a result, the younger ones feel rejected and humiliated.

Often, younger children have to resort to not entirely honest ways to listen to their opinions, and generally treat them with respect.

When they grow up, they try to go their own way and often achieve success in business.

9. Younger children are more fun and uninhibited than older ones.

When a firstborn is born, parents are still inexperienced, and therefore too tense and too worried about him. But with each next child, this tension and anxiety gradually subsides, moms and dads become calmer and more relaxed, and this is reflected in the character of younger children - they are more accommodating, fun, like to laugh, “walk on the head”, “run around the ceiling” and generally attract attention.

10. Younger children tend to develop addictions

Puberty in younger children in the family occurs on average three months earlier than in older brothers and sisters. Perhaps that is why younger children are more prone to risky behavior, they begin to have sex, smoke, try alcohol and drugs before.

11. The only children combine the properties of older and younger

One child in a family for life receives all the attention of parents, and this circumstance has its pros and cons. On the one hand, an only child has all the chances to achieve a lot in life, since all parental resources are given to him and all hopes are pinned on him. On the other hand, for parents, he will always remain a baby who can be pampered, but not taken seriously.

The absence of brothers and sisters, on the one hand, has a positive effect on the psychological state, since there is no jealousy and competition for parental love. On the other hand, social skills are reduced for only children, at least by the time they need to go to kindergarten or school.

Studies prove: to be an only child is still very good.

Such children, contrary to popular beliefs, do not feel lonely at all. On average, they are happier, more successful and more confident than children from large families. As for communication skills, by the fifth grade the only children in this sense are no different from their peers.

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