Scenarios of unhealthy relationships that Soviet cinema taught us
'10.11.2020'
Source: LifeHacker
Films that are considered to be kind and romantic sometimes teach us very strange things, says Lifehacker.
The good old classics of Soviet cinema are the result of the collaboration of extremely talented people. These films have subtle drama, great humor, and excellent acting. However, in the 1970st century, social norms have changed, and the patterns of relationships that were normally perceived in the XNUMXs now seem wild.
Internet critics have already come under fire from the narcissistic manners of the intelligent locksmith Georgy from Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears, the destructive men of Nadia Shevelyova from The Irony of Fate and the dubious relationships of the characters in The Office Romance. And indeed, if you watch a thaw or perestroika cinema through modern optics, you can see a lot of strange things.
1. A bad person can be corrected with love
Afanasy Borshchov, the protagonist of the tragicomedy "Afonya" by Georgy Danelia, is a lost person. He is devoid of any sense of social responsibility. But the young nurse Katya Snegireva, who is in love with him, is not at all afraid of the hero's sloppiness and indifference. She is ready to get wet in the rain waiting for her beloved and get Afonya out of trouble. And he keeps her at a safe distance and at the same time calmly flirts with other women. And although the ending in the film is happy, it becomes clear that further everything will only get worse, and the heroes will face continuous disappointments in each other.
In reality, a huge number of people, like Katya Snegireva, unsuccessfully save their partners from alcoholism, drug addiction and other problems, sacrificing their own happiness. Antisocial behavior and endless binge look beautiful only in the movies, and for life it is better to choose reliable and caring people.
“In art, the technique of hyperbole is often used: the drama is deliberately aggravated, the images of the heroes are made sharper, the character - caricatured, exaggerated. In reality, not everything is so simple. People usually enter into relationships with good intentions, cherishing some kind of dreams, hopes, plans. When getting married, few people think about divorce, even if they sign a marriage contract.
Also, unconscious motives are of great importance when choosing a partner. A potential lover should help to realize the usual life scenario - those views, beliefs, experiences, examples of relationships that we got in childhood. ”Explains Julia Hill, psychologist, member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League, blogger.
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2. Tolerate - fall in love
There are a lot of films about passionate love that grew out of hatred (and not only among the Soviet ones). For example, Eldar Ryazanov's melodrama “A Station for Two” begins with an ugly quarrel over an unpaid dinner. Of course, after spending some time together, the heroes then themselves do not notice how they fall in love.
The plot of the 1982 romantic comedy "In love of my own accord" is based on the same technique, which tells about how to change your own life by an effort of will. Casual acquaintances - a former athlete and now a drunken worker Igor Bragin and a nondescript librarian Vera Silkova - enter into an unusual agreement: to fall in love with each other through self-hypnosis.
At first glance, the scenario seems harmless. But if we close our eyes to the fact that the hero of Oleg Yankovsky periodically says nasty things to his girlfriend ("What to catch on to? Not a bitch, not a hitch, not a bump, not a hollow! Why does nature offend smart ones?") And demands "to become prettier" ... However, the heroine is not so impressed by him ("Well, you are also the hero of not my novel. I never liked handsome men, especially those who drink"). For most of the film, the characters cannot stand each other and only realize their feelings closer to the end.
Of course, sometimes in life it happens that the first impression about a person turns out to be superficial and erroneous, while the second one is deeper and more accurate. But nevertheless, entering into relationships with unpleasant personalities in the hope that everything will grow together by itself is not the best way to a trusting thoughtful connection.
3. To conquer a person, you need to completely transform
In Soviet cinema, women often become objects of claims because of their appearance or failed personal life. In the already mentioned film "In love of his own accord" Igor Bragin calls Vera a cuttlefish and never misses an opportunity to hint that an inconspicuous library worker is no match for a handsome man. But as soon as the heroine does her hair and tint her eyelashes, Bragin magically regains his sight and realizes that all this time the ideal girl was waiting for him.
Change is great, but it is better if the reason is not the intention to please someone, but the desire to take care of your health or inner harmony. It is difficult to build a harmonious and equal relationship with a partner who reshapes you for himself.
4. A normal woman doesn't need a career or power
And if they are needed, it is only because she was unlucky enough to meet a good man. Most often, Soviet film heroines who have achieved career success are portrayed as unhappy and suffering from loneliness, and their life and professional achievements are explained simply: the poor unmarried lady has nowhere else to put herself.
The first to recall here, of course, is Lyudmila Prokofievna Kalugina from "Office Romance". At the beginning of the film, the boss appears to have long been waving her hand at herself. Subordinates shun her or, at best, pity her ("She is not a woman, she is a director", "Lyudmila Prokofievna comes to the service before everyone else, but leaves later than everyone else, from which it is clear that, alas, she is not married"). But when love comes into Kalugina's life, the heroine abruptly loses interest in her professional duties ("Oh, how you don't want to ... My God, how you don't want to! .. But you have to go to lead!").
“One can fantasize that Lyudmila Prokofievna was brought up in strict traditions. Education and career have always been in the first place, and marriage and children could "break life."
She is a leader, therefore, a hyperfunctional - a person who is used to doing everything herself. Therefore, for harmonious relationships, the heroine chooses the hypofunctional Novoseltsev in order to continue to command not only at work, but also in the family. Novoseltsev probably had a difficult relationship with an overbearing, oppressive mother. So in the person of Lyudmila Prokofievna the hero finds the desired maternal image, ”says Julia Hill.
Galina Arkadyevna, the heroine of the comedy "For family reasons", illustrates this stereotype no less vividly. This is a lady with a difficult character. At work, she treats her subordinates harshly, but as soon as Galina finds family happiness, she immediately becomes meek and tolerant of people.
A strong woman Katerina Tikhomirova from the melodrama "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears" was able to raise her daughter alone and just take place in life. However, the charismatic hero of Alexei Batalov did not immediately appreciate the heroine at her true worth - on the contrary, he cowardly ran away when it turned out that the social status of his beloved was higher than his own.
“What has been said about the“ Office Romance ”also applies to the couple of Gosha and Katerina. For a hyperfunctional to have a relationship, there must be a hypofunctional nearby - a person who does not cope well himself. It can be a weak-willed man suffering from illness, depression, alcoholism - in general, one with whom you can realize your psychological need to save and manage, ”says Julia Hill.
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5. Sex without commitment is a stain on a woman's reputation
There is a whole encyclopedia of gender stereotypes in the spiritual thaw comedy "Girls". Production leader Ilya Kovrigin starts an affair with a new cook, Tosya Kislitsyna, on a bet, but gradually realizes that she is not like the women he had met before.
Among them is the recognized beauty Anfisa. This independent girl is not eager to get married; she likes to spend time with different men more. At the same time, the viewer is unambiguously given to understand that “they don’t marry people like her” (“Anfisa, she is so… You grow up, you find out!”). In the end, the heroine realizes that she is not living properly and is re-educated. Ilya, meanwhile, falls in love with Tosya, because she, unlike the sophisticated Anfiska, turned out to be wiser and at the right time managed to pretend to be impregnable.
“Why does Anfisa spend time with different men? I can assume that the heroine is a child disliked in childhood. The girl acts out a child's scenario in adulthood. Thus, she realizes her need to receive love. And one partner is not able to satisfy her: the mental wound is too great. It takes a lot of different partners to get a sense of one's own need and importance. ”, - explains Julia Hill.
By the way, the literary basis of the film - the story of the same name by Boris Bedny - is far from being as comical as the movie. It is rather a tragedy, where Anfisa's broken fate comes to the fore.
Fortunately, these days it is no longer accepted to judge women by the number of partners. Sexual sophistication is not a vice or a virtue, but simply a personal matter for everyone.
6. The best way to please a lady is to act like an uncouth rude
All in the same "Girls" Kovrigin argues with his friend on the hat that he will fall in love with the impudent girl Tosya ("Week - and will run after me like a dog"). The hero acts in rather strange ways: publicly declares that the girl cooked a tasteless soup, and then also slaps the heroine in the face for an innocent joke. And this ingenious plan, oddly enough, works.
Probably, it is precisely such plots in the spirit of "The less we love a woman, the easier she likes us," and gave rise to the erroneous idea that a lady can be attracted by snide jokes and remarks on the verge of rudeness. In reality, it is so sooner possible to drive a person out of himself or completely deprive him of mental balance.
Clichés were common in films of a bygone era. But on the other hand, in the last decade, many non-standard characters have appeared on domestic screens that go beyond the cinematic stereotypes. At the same time, directors are increasingly abandoning moralizing, and instead of ready-made solutions, they invite viewers to think about the dynamics of human ties, about why people disperse or reunite, and how to survive a crisis in relations with loved ones.
