'Hand on his shoulder': Natalya Zhvanetskaya about life, family and beloved man
'29.09.2018'
Source: Zn.ua
The house in Odessa is designed for rest and work, for a quiet and joyful life. In the chairs - jackets and bags of guests. In the kitchen, people are jostling, the closest and dearest are in aprons. The house is cool in the heat, on cold days it is warm. In the office window where Michal Mikhalych works, there is the sea. In the courtyard - the blessed shadow: flowers, bushes, trees.
“The house was created gradually,” says Natalya Zhvanetskaya for Zn.ua... - We cut it like a shoe for ourselves. Trampled on the leg. Somewhere they closed the doorways so that those who were resting could not hear the guests hanging out below, the youth laughing and singing, and long night conversations. Somewhere we made arches for more air, we came up with areas for a large number of guests. Well, and most importantly, they bought a lot of dishes and a lot of large aprons for the house. Since in Odessa, women always and everywhere prepare food, regardless of who you are - a hostess, friend, relative, assistant, guest - put on an apron and stand at the stove. Southern tradition. In the morning they knock on the door - a bucket of bulls. Then everyone in the house begins to clean the fish, then fry and treat everyone around - friends, watchmen, drivers, the fish is sent to someone in the city. Everyone eats bulls. ”
When guests, Natasha holds her hand on the shoulder of Michal Mikhalych all evening. For a short while, with her friend Irina, they will go to the kitchen, bring something hot, fragrant, generous to the table - a lot, tasty, in large chunks on a giant platter. Natasha again sits down in her place and again puts her hand on Michal Mikhalych's shoulder. And he feels good. He is calm, cheerful, he says to everyone: "... a man subconsciously chooses a woman with the face of his child's mother ...". His child's mother's face is lovely. Glows with joy. The mother of his child is his “everything”. Beloved, friend, first listener, doctor, psychotherapist, architect, gardener, jack of all trades. And - most importantly - the mother of his child. The light hand of his child's mother is on his shoulder again.
“Hand on your shoulder? Is it? I don’t notice somehow ... But this is normal. It goes without saying ... Everything is natural, because this is our life. You are responsible. You don’t faint, you don’t throw hysterics, and you don’t say: “I am offended”, “I will not cook”, “I will leave”. Because there is no reason or meaning.
For a long time, somehow, we stepped over the grievances that were in our youth, and do not get upset over trifles. Occasionally we quarrel, no, we do not quarrel, but so ... For example: “Borscht is not salty!”. I well understand that borscht has nothing to do with it, that there is internal discomfort. And the person needs to speak out. Well, let it be borscht! Well, borscht!
In my opinion, offenses can only be inflicted on those close to you ... I hardly understand how you can be offended by people who are not close. In all families, there are painful showdowns. And we were no exception in our time. But somehow we came by default to the conclusion that life is not dimensionless and it is impossible to waste our precious time when we are together and break the harmony in the family. We are all - Misha, Mitya, me - we value and cherish our family harmony ”.
Garden
Natasha has - as they say, “green fingers”. Everyone is surprised: she sticks a stick into the ground - and the stick sprouts and sprouts. A tree rises from the dropped bone. She grows flowers, bushes, trees - she loves to dig in the garden.
“I plant flowers, cut bushes. I love it so much that I go into some strange, pleasant meditation. I have no idea where this knowledge comes from. Most likely from my ancestors. My grandmother had been growing branchy aloe on windowsills all her life. Kalanchoe. Uzumbara violets. We exchanged leaflets with neighbors. My mother's brother raised fish and birds. We knew where the goldfinch, where the finch, where the oriole. Recognized voices. All my childhood was spent with these birds. I grew up among plants, among animals ... I love animals very much. And I have a respectful relationship with them too. Though not simple.
My grandfather was engaged in thoroughbred horses. Mom has preserved albums of his drawings, on each sheet there are horses. Mom told me: when she was quite small, a stud farm was evacuated somewhere in the Mari ASSR during the war. There was a lack of strength, thoroughbred horses were harnessed to chaise, to harrows, seeders ... They still hated britzkas, but not always. Mom told how horses, who appreciated both their exclusivity and their beauty, took revenge on man. They worked disciplined in the field, carried loads in carts, but when they were unharnessed and on the way to the stable the riders mounted their horses, they bit the horse and quickly went to the stall. The entrance to the stall is usually of two parts, at the bottom the horse could open the entrance by the chest, and on top there was a girder, which had to be folded back before starting the horse. So, the horse was in a hurry in a closed stall in order to bring down the rider with a higher beam. And so did all the horses, as if agreed. And in order not to cripple people, the stalls were kept open. Then the horses found another way: they walked under the wire, under the branches of trees.
There was everyone's favorite Mongolian horse, blue-black, stocky, still very young, he was taken care of. Once it was necessary to urgently go to the city and the Mongol was harnessed. He obediently let himself be harnessed, took people to the city, a lot of glass bought for something was loaded onto the cart, the "Mongol" took the load back. But when he rode onto the bridge, he snorted, squinted unkindly, reared up, turned over the cart, threw off and broke all the glass!
Apparently, I have love, respect and pity for animals from here. A hydrologist by training, I managed to work on expeditions and went on horseback. I had a kind of mystical, deep respect for horses. I understood that they were alive, that they were in pain, they were tired, they had characters. I know for sure that they are sensitive and understand a lot better than people. I have some kind of inner confidence that they are a special kind of life on earth. So are the dogs. This dog is your friend, right? And I cannot understand how I can train him, punish him, drag him on a leash. I cannot force my friend to obey commands and suffer. "
Hobbies and talents
Natasha has many talents. She is great at cooking and leading the house. She at one time very well sewed and painted.
“I love to cook salads and soups. At the same time, I improvise. Because when I read cookbooks, I intuitively understand what and what can be replaced, and I already know if it will be my family. In childhood and adolescence, I drew. But for some reason it ended, and does not pull. All my friends just now suddenly started drawing, singing, dancing, doing yoga. I had problems with the spine, I am tall. But qigong helped to forget about pills. Qigong healed me. I've been doing it for five years now, and the pain disappeared from the first day. Perhaps this is the power of faith. I believe in good very easily, it is difficult to make me believe in bad. And the coach is so attentive and open. He reminds me of a young, cheerful spaniel. Well, how can you not start to recover!
Several years ago I started a Facebook page. She began to publish new and old texts by Michal Mikhalych. There were many readers. As it happens on social networks, trolls also showed up. At first I was nervous, but now I learned to protect my page. Limited comments for friends. And if something accidental or crazy suddenly comes, I immediately clean it and block it. "
Friends
Her main talent: Natasha is an easy, joyful optimist and a very loyal friend. And, of course, everyone is drawn to her ... Natasha Zhvanetskaya's friends all say one and all, that they primarily value her honesty.
“Yes, I love my friends. Both new and from the "past life". One problem: my friends, if you put them together, do not fit in our house. Therefore, they come or come in turn. True, there is no time and energy for cunning, for wagging, for curtsies, explanations. There are days when I say, “I'm sorry, no,” and I close the house for everyone. We rest. I have little personal time and little private space. Therefore, I try to protect it. Because everything is subordinated to work and, of course, rest of Michal Mikhalych.
We have friends and co-workers who have become members of our family. And we can’t imagine our life without them.
We laugh all the time. Even if there is no reason to be particularly happy, but in the morning - we call this “singing” - to jump up and down, jump out from around the corner, hug ... I can't exist if someone walks gloomy. Why sad? - I ask. And the song? I am a home energizer, battery. And somehow everyone is included in the rhythm. "
Son
About Natasha says a lot how she speaks about other people. Or how silent about them ... It seems to me that Michal Mikhalych was just very lucky with his wife ... And Mita was lucky that he has such a mother.
“Mitya is a wonderful person. Very friendly, open-minded, warm. Probably because he does not know much about life yet, he is still young.
Although Mitya still suffered due to the fact that dad is Zhvanetsky. Children are sensitive and understand and feel everything perfectly. Some of the teachers were more biased and demanding than other children, because the son of Zhvanetsky should be the best. Someone was super-friendly, made him stand out from his classmates, and friends were offended. Somewhere Mitya did not pull off perfectly, from which someone rejoiced and gloated.
Not immediately asked a friendship with classmates. When everyone ran out to the courtyard for a break, Mitya remained in the classroom. I pretended that there was no such problem, and was worried that I was wrong. But with my usual optimism I decided to just watch. After some time, the teacher said that Mitya continues to sit in the same class in the breaks, but the children do not run out into the yard either - they are sitting around him. He talks to them. Children have chosen him as a person with whom it is possible to talk interestingly and seriously. And together, and with each classmate separately. Here, it seems to me, the fact that Mityen's father always spoke to him from Mityen’s birth as an adult played a role.
And when Mitya graduated from school, there was no thought about the choice. Mitya entered the Faculty of Psychology at Moscow State University. He studied there for a year, said that it was not interesting that he already knew everything. He said he wanted to work. I again pretended that everything was fine: well - work. Again I decided not to interfere. He went to work somewhere - with a clean shirt on a hanger, with a briefcase. He worked for about a year, then came home and said that he needed a higher education for his job. The whole family applauded: what great news! The son reached the point that education is necessary in life. Mitya found production courses at the institute. We objected that producer courses do not provide higher education. "No, no," Mitya answered, "I just want to understand what it is and how." He entered these courses himself. I understood “what it is and how”, went to college, and now he has a year left before graduation. While studying at the institute, he graduated from Italian language courses. In Italy, he graduated from wine-making and cooking courses. Speaks English. We do not know yet what all this will result in. But we trust him. He is a modern, normal, lightweight, mobile person. He will decide for himself.
In it is not very long life was different. But we worthy taxied. I told him that we could not tune your life for you. And our child understood that. I taught him simple things: not a single problem will resolve itself. She can disappear in the bud when she has just formed, and you can help call mom. And then you will learn not only not to reach such problems, but also not to allow yourself to have such problems.
Today, Mitya has already become a patronizing attitude towards us. At first, he was annoyed: how do you not understand, how are you parking, how are you not in social networks ... Now they are just following us, like a nurse. When I'm driving, he commands: Mom, left, right, you see - a red light, do not forget to close the doors. I always answer: thank you, thank you ...
Mitya has not yet introduced us to his girls. Because he has a bad experience of his friends: friends are introduced to mothers, then friends and girls part, and mothers do not want to change girls, they are already used to it. And mothers continue to be friends with the "ex". A young man comes home with a new girlfriend, and his former girlfriend sits there and drinks tea with his mother. Mitya said: knowing you, how faithfully you are friends, how you love people, I am sure that all my friends will remain your friends, and ten of my former friends in our kitchen is very strange. I am not ready. I thought he was right. "
Father and son
“I have a very friendly and warm relationship with my father. I still don't let Mitya get off the ground: a room, things, in the kitchen there is a showdown so that he doesn't miss school, so that he pays bills on time, in a word, I don't let him enter some kind of peak, into which a young man can easily break loose. And dad loves him in general and by default, no matter what. Mitya loves to accompany his father to concerts and listen to him in the wings. The two of them can spend hours engaged in conversation on distant and even strange topics for me. Moreover, as a rule, it is not dad who speaks, as in childhood (as with an adult), says Mitya. Dad listens with open mouth. Mitya gives dad information that dad cannot always get due to his busy schedule. Information about new life, new books and new music, about new films, competitions ... ”.
Michal Mikhalych
Natasha does not notice that when she jokes, she has intonations, gestures and even plastic Michal Mikhalych. When she listens, she narrows her eyes slightly and leans forward, as Michal Mikhalych does. She elegantly walks away from the answers and turns the conversation to another topic. And this is a very familiar style to all of us.
“Michal Mikhalych says that I look like his mother. When I look at photographs, I do not find external similarity, but, probably, there is something in common in behavior, habits, common in thoughts, tasks ... "
Natasha is the first reader and first listener of Michal Mikhalycha. She is the compiler of a new collection of works by Mikhail Zhvanetsky "The Sun, Sea, Arcadia".
“I dream of collecting a book by Mikhail Zhvanetsky with stories about animals ... I am now looking for photographs of animals, touching, lively, not staged, not glamorous ... So that cats, dogs and horses, of course ...”.
Sometimes social networks require Zhvanetsky to take the flag and lead people to the barricades. And they do not speak openly, not from TV screens, but somehow from the corner, under invented names, squeaking from their courage: look how I washed Mikhail Zhvanetsky, let him know, let him head and fight. And I'll sit here, look and appreciate. Such here, how to call them, users, cause only bewilderment or annoyance. Like annoying autumn flies.
“Misha can already afford to look at all this and remain silent. When he was young and, as I was sure then, fearless, he wrote and said things for which they imprisoned, deprived of citizenship and exiled. But Misha told me: “I was terribly afraid. But I could not help but say. I couldn't help it. I spoke and ran away from this place ”.
Mikhail Zhvanetsky is a very peaceful, kind, loving person. He loves everyone: children, adults, and animals. He does not cross the line when he can be ashamed. Neither in relation to a person, nor to an animal, nor to a situation, nor to events in general. In general, Misha can see. Widely and for many years to come. Therefore, he writes in volume, and everyone can see something of his own in this. Some are laughing, others are sad. ”
Yes, some are laughing, others are crying ... And I don't know which is better and more important. Natasha loves his lyrical works more. About women, about animals. New - “When the front is coming” - about the weather at sea - this is generally a new step, a new stage in the work of Michal Mikhalych. In this small text, in a few minutes - life. Voices, noises, smells, play of light, movement, a hot beach and gusts of wind - an uncontrollable element, mood, anxiety ... On one page - a transparent, but clearly visible, impeccably painted world with thin strokes. And you stop breathing when he reads, and you forget where you are. And it's cold ... In a warm room.
“It's curious to see how Misha writes. He does not close, does not fall into a trance, does not shout at home, does not get annoyed, as happens (I heard) with other authors, he just sits down and starts writing. Daily. How he writes, what he connects to, what he dictates to him and how he is dictated is a riddle, which, as it seems to me, he himself cannot solve ”.
Sometimes, when he works, he suddenly asks unexpected questions ... And only on these questions can we guess what he is writing about. He somehow differently than we, sees life, events, man. Otherwise, the person feels. I ask what you have written, well, read it ... He begins to read out loud, and only then he realizes that he has written. He needs to hear himself, read out loud, to check and understand himself.
He writes by hand. And immediately a clean copy, without corrections and without crossing out. If there is a strikethrough, then these are just options to choose from. And one time he can read this way, another time - differently. How it goes. And it’s very interesting to watch ”.
