Is the child behaving badly? That's why you are to blame
'06.06.2021'
Source: Yandex Zen
If you tell you directly in the face that you yourself are promoting the bad behavior of children, which you complain about later, then you will certainly be offended. And you will even be outraged. But alas, this is true. Often parents (along with grandparents, by the way), without noticing it, do everything that ultimately leads to whims, disobedience and terrible behavior of children. Let's figure it out and try to continue to monitor our own behavior.
1. You are not consistent
For example, you tell your child that you will not give him another candy. "No, I said!". And if he only has to switch to falsetto or persistently stomp his feet, what happens? As a rule, the child has another candy. Once, having violated your own "no", yielding to childish hysteria, you launch a scheme in the child's thinking: "Yeah, you just have to scream and cry harder - and mom will agree," writes the author of the channel "Hi parent! ” Yandex.Zen.
2. You give out empty threats
Do you tell your child something like this: “If you don’t (take care of yourself, do the homework), I’ll tell you (I will tear off my ears, I will forbid the prefix for a month, I will never buy ice cream)”? And did they fulfill their threats after the child did not fulfill his part of the obligations? Of course not. So he knows that his ears will not be torn off, you will pick up the prefix for a maximum of a day, and buy ice cream in the evening, ironing out the blame for shouting. It's not about executing data in the hearts of threats, but about not giving them away. And if you warn about sanctions in advance, then choose those that are easy to execute: I’ll block the phone for a day, I will not see the prefix for three days.
On the subject: One phrase that can appease any scandalous child.
3. You make excuses baby
He was tired, he was upset, he had a hard day, his friend did not come, he hoped that the teacher would ask at the lesson, he wanted to sleep, he wanted to eat, he wanted to play, he was small ... If for any whim you try to justify the child before yourself and others, the problem is not with the child, but with you. Yes, sometimes children behave badly due to poor health, but not all the time. And seeing that you will find an excuse for any behavior, the child simply does not need to behave less demanding and selfish.
4. You yell at baby
Nobody loves when they shout at him. No one likes the one who yells at him. And at every opportunity he tries to “annoy” the screaming one. The child is no exception. If for some time the child, out of fear of your scream, obeyed you, then the older he becomes, the less he will be afraid of you, respect and obey. He will experience more negative emotions and desires to deliver you unpleasant feelings in response to his own.
On the subject: How American kindergarten differs from Russian and how much they pay for it
5. You use physical force to the child
A slap on the buttocks, a belt in a strong hand, a cuff - in the arsenal of a Russian parent, these are pretty common educational tools. Unfortunately! Psychological research has long proven that children who are beaten by their parents become more aggressive, their empathy decreases, their self-esteem decreases, and antisocial behavior increases. Children become cocky, and their whole behavior is based on avoiding the physical pain that they latently expect from adults, and not thinking about their own behavior.
6. You are touched by the behavior of the child
It is very tempting to giggle in response to the impolite act of your sweet baby. Just because he's cute! Yes, we ourselves know how we want to smile when the baby begins to sing loudly in a cafe or eat pasta with his hands. Or he simply tries to please the guests and interrupts the conversations of adults, trying to talk about his cherry pony. Children feel what is allowed and what is not. And if you are for them to comply with the rules of courtesy, be consistent in this, do not indulge just because when your little girl sneezes into your grandmother's face, it looks so cute! ..
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