The path to the heart of an American: how not to scare away the future husband
'27.05.2021'
Source: Air force
Compared to Russian men, courageous and strong defenders of the fair sex, accustomed to walking in grand style, Americans may seem spineless, feminized, and too mean. Is it really?
Stereotypes, however, are deceiving, and those looking to date an American man may find the following information interesting. After all, forewarned is forearmed, notes Air force.
1. Pay for yourself and forget about flowers
An American will not pay for entertainment, hand flowers, gifts, or move a chair to a woman simply because she is a woman. What is considered the norm in Russia has long been viewed in the United States as chauvinistic relics of a patriarchal society, against which women of the free world have fought for several centuries.
So, in order not to get confused: in the United States, all accounts are divided strictly in half - from lunch at a restaurant to a mortgage, even if a man earns more.
There are also ladies who are willing to pay for everything. And not because they are so rich. They believe: if a man pays, he immediately begins to think that he is entitled to something for it. “No money, no power,” wrote one journalist, comparing a man who pays for dinner at a restaurant to a father who pays for children.
The conclusion is simple: on the first date, indulge in all gastronomic grievances, because you may simply not have another chance.
2. Let him wash his socks
28-year-old Muscovite Tanya, who lives in immigration with her foreign boyfriend, advises not to forget that you are his partner, not your housekeeper.
"Foreigners are looking for a friend and a partner in a woman, not a handyman to keep their house in order."
Her boyfriend told the BBC about a serious clash of different cultures: “At the very beginning of our relationship, I somehow come home and see that Tanya arranged all the clothes in my closet according to colors and stroked my socks. I was very uncomfortable. "
“Women in Russia grow up with the conviction that a man has nothing to do in the kitchen except to eat. It's incredible for us that someone is willing to volunteer to share housework, and this is the norm for women in their country, ”said 24-year-old Anastasia, also a Russian woman with a foreign boyfriend.
In the US, traditional gender stereotypes have almost disappeared, and the overwhelming majority of couples believe that domestic responsibilities should be divided not by gender, but by fairness. Surveys this year showed that three-quarters of the respondents did not agree that women should devote themselves to domestic work.
At the same time in Russia, a poll by the Levada Center showed that, according to the majority of women, there is no gender equality in the country, and neither men nor women accept the term "feminism".
3. No need to be ashamed of sweatpants
Women in Russia often put on makeup and put on shoes with heels, even when they go for groceries.
Both Tanya and Anastasia believe that no one demands from foreign women that, under any circumstances, they should be dressed up and down and painted “under a large neckline”.
In America, in fact, you can get out of bed and go straight in for this kind of provisions. If a woman in a tight dress, on her heels and in a full war paint will come to you in the supermarket, then this means that it is Friday night, and this lady will rush straight to the shelves with alcohol.
“In Russia,” says Anastasia, “there is a public opinion that a woman has to be beautiful in order to succeed both in her personal and professional life.”
Tanya, on the other hand, believes that Russian women pay increased attention to their appearance, because they are fighting for men, since there is some gender imbalance in society.
4. At least try to be polite at first.
Russian people do not hesitate to tell you right in the forehead what they think.
And here's an example for you: "At a recent family meeting, my cousin shouted loudly throughout the room to her husband: just look how you got fat!" - Anastasia recalls.
Russians have no problem cutting the truth-womb without wasting time on unnecessary scribbling and omissions.
For Americans who are genetically programmed to show the world goodwill, or at least an indifferent, polite look, this behavior is unthinkable. If, however, there is a pause in the conversation, they will try with all their might to fill it with a meaningless chatter to avoid embarrassment.
Here is the opinion of another Russian girl, Maria: “Americans are always polite towards unfamiliar people, while Russians don’t give a damn about it. So on the first date, such revelations can frighten off the gentleman. "
Tanya's husband, however, believes that such directness is not bad at all, because you do not need to guess what happened: they will tell you everything right away, and you will not have to suffer from doubts.
5. They do something all the time!
Both Anastasia and Tanya believe that Americans are very active and constantly striving somewhere.
“They travel, go to concerts, play sports, and as a result, some of our dates were quite funny. Russian men just sit around all day and drink beer. They don't need anything at all. Probably because they cannot change anything either in politics or in the economy of their country. And even hard work doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a good job, so why bother? ” - concludes Tanya.
6. Independence has to pay
Tatiana admits that women in the United States have much more independence and control over their own lives. But this medal also has a downside.
“I don’t think,” she says, “that the women here can rely on a partner and expect full emotional support from him. If I'm sad, he thinks I can handle it myself. "
7. Do not rush to buy a white dress
Last, but very important: Americans do not like to rush into choosing a lifelong partner and go on dates just for fun.
“Don't expect him to fall head over heels in love with you right after the first date,” Tanya warns.
In the United States, serious relationships begin at a much more mature age than in Russia: as a rule, after 30 years, sometimes significantly “after”. In Russia it is 24 years and 27 years, respectively.
24-year-old husband Tanya at one time was very surprised by the rapid development of relations with his Russian girlfriend.
“What we spend several months on, it took her no more than a week. A word with the letter “l” appeared in our conversations, and she began to make plans for the future, ”he said.
“I realized that I had to make it clear right away that I was not yet looking for a serious relationship and would not allow me to be forced into it,” said another young man named Harry. - From the very beginning, make sure that there are no understatements. ”
