The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

The Bird of Happiness of Tomorrow: Why Your Life Failed and How to Fix It

Sergey Evelev

writer, TV and radio host


... choose me, choose me
The Bird of Happiness of Tomorrow ...

Photo: Shutterstock

Happiness - what is it? Who invented it, where does it come from, why does it leave and what does it depend on?

Here. Immediately, a heavy set of complex questions fell out on us. And, for sure, one hundred respondents will give completely different answers to them. For someone, happiness is family and children, for someone - hot pizza and coffee, and for someone - so that he is not tugged and left alone (in meditation, in a cave, in India, at the top of a baobab tree, in four walls ...).

But there are a few simple reasons that can rob a person of a sense of happiness and, moreover, temporarily or permanently replace him with a feeling of lack of happiness - or unhappiness - which, when you think about it, means the same thing.

Reason One: Perfectionism

This is a lifestyle, a character trait that does not allow a person to do something carelessly, inaccurately, imperfectly, dude. This is wonderful for those who will enjoy the results of such an individual's activities. But being with him, let alone being him, is not an easy task. He is always dissatisfied with what has been done and strives to bring his activity (whatever it may be: the position of the toothbrush in the glass or the device of the synchrophasotron) to perfection. The lack of an ideal result makes his life anxious, unsatisfactory, unhappy.

The second reason: communication with those who are always dissatisfied with something

We have such a spilled sea. And they are somehow evenly distributed around each of us. They don't have a good day, week, month. If it didn't rain, then the boot broke or the matches ran out, the children are sick or the wife has oversalted the borscht. We cannot change them, so the only way out is to limit their presence in our life. It is quite feasible and necessary for our own benefit. The sooner we do this, the closer we will come to a feeling of happiness, excluding from the immediate circle those who can even blacken the sun.

On the subject: The roles that people play: how to rewrite an unfortunate life scenario

Reason Three: People Living Between the Past and the Future

This is the case when “the moment between the past and the future” is not called “life”. If you think and listen, there are many of them. Whatever they talk about, there is always a mention of how it was in the past. Naturally, it was better. They were younger, faster, smarter. The food was tastier and cheaper. Women are more pliable, men are more gallant, the country is warmer, the rules are more liberal, and even the weather is better.

And then - a leap into the future. And there is our invented life, good or bad (depending on the mood of the writer at the moment). These people deliberately refuse the opportunity to live today, replacing everything that is needed for this with fantasies about what has already been and what may never be. Disown them. Live in the present. By the way, this is the only place where life takes place and at least something depends on us.

Reason Four: Comparing Your Life to the Lives of Others

This is a very harmful race: on the way, nothing will please, neither victory, nor promotion, nor wins. Someone will always have a wife younger than the house more expensive, children are smarter and the car is newer. Although you can compare yourself with those who have fewer benefits than you (and there are suitable countries for this, Zimbabwe, for example, or North Korea), but this is also not the best occupation. It is better to compare yourself today with yourself yesterday, but this is only if you can not live without comparisons, which is objectively difficult.

Reason Five: Focusing on the Negative

This is normal practice for the vast majority of people. And it's not that television, radio, newspapers and all-all-all talk about the negative from morning till night. It has been, is and will always be. The trick is to pass by like this, do not go in cycles and, God forbid, do not discuss from morning till night how much died from the tsunami, from shooting, from hunger. Focus on the positive news, no matter how few.

On the subject: Personal experience: how to get rid of stress, anxiety and depression in 30 days

Reason six: reaction to the opinions of others

The people around have always been and will be. But no one said that you have to follow their opinions, or even, at least, take these opinions into account. Develop your opinion and listen to it. You can also get the opinions of experts in a particular area, but - again - not at all in order to obey them or allow you to "brainwash" you. Rather, it should be taken as information for thought (everyone remembered Stirlitz). Remember that their opinions should never be yours, otherwise you will copy their life and you will not necessarily like it. After all, we see only what is on the surface, and in the depths of anyone, even in fact a beautiful and successful life, there are so many “cockroaches” that having learned all the details, few would want to get such a life in full set, together with “cockroaches”. And glamor alone, in the absence of "dirty linen", without which life cannot do, does not exist.

Reason seven: attempts to complicate life

Life is easier than we are trying to imagine. You do not need to complicate it. You can complicate anything, although it’s more reasonable, on the contrary, to simplify. It would be nice to remember that we create difficulties for ourselves and most of the obstacles for ourselves and then successfully overcome them. Although sometimes it’s impossible to overcome.

Let's try to be the masters of at least one life in the world - our own. And we will begin to protect our lives from everyone who is trying to spoil it, darken it, pursuing our (no matter how high and bright) goals. Let them spoil theirs, we are not going to interfere with this. This is exactly. And ours will be left alone.

It’s so simple, it’s such a trifle ... Isn’t it?

If you want to talk with me about it - go to my page in Facebook.

ForumDaily Woman is not responsible for the content of blogs and may not share the views of the author.

Follow success stories, tips, and more by subscribing to Woman.ForumDaily on Facebook, and don't miss the main thing in our mailing list