Doing good: how savior syndrome interferes with friendship and love
'08.12.2020'
Source: 7 Sisters
Savior syndrome is one of the possible scenarios for the development of toxic relationships. In them, one of the partners shows complete helplessness, while the other takes over the solution of all problems, writes 7 Sisters.
Savior Syndrome: What Is It?
Helping others is one form of behavior that gains social approval. But sometimes altruism turns against ourselves. A striking example of this is the “savior syndrome”.
It is a psychological condition that makes you feel a constant desire to help others. Savior Syndrome has nothing to do with volunteering or helping a neighbor's grandmother. Rather, it is an unwelcome concern that you seek to impose on others.
What are his signs?
The owners of the "savior syndrome" 24/7 are looking for someone to whom they could provide their "services". These are the same people who know everything: how to eat, raise children and where to go on vacation. They can be encountered in the office or at a friendly party. However, the most vivid "savior" is revealed in a love relationship.
Communication is based on the fact that one partner constantly needs another. Both suffer: the first is in the position of a helpless child, from which he is not allowed to get out. The second one sacrifices his own affairs and interests for his sake.
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It is important to understand that only two types of people can remain in the position of "victim" in a long-term relationship. Either an infantile is looking for a "Savior", or someone who wants to quickly sit on someone's neck. These people get used to uptime and begin to take XNUMX/XNUMX help and emotional support for granted. Everyone else will quickly get rid of custody or end the relationship.
Why is “savior syndrome” dangerous?
Let's be frank: this situation is beneficial, first of all, to the "savior" himself. Behind his sacrifice, it's easy to see narcissism and self-doubt. Confidence in his noble intentions makes the "savior" build a desire to help into a cult. We can say that this is a kind of social game: there is a "victim" and there is a "knight" who always comes to the rescue. Has anyone thought about why a “savior” is beneficial to a partner who is unable to step even without his advice?
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The need for someone to help arises for someone who has problems with self-realization. Singer Madonna admitted that she felt "useless" in her marriage to Sean Penn. This is how toxic relationships with codependency are formed.
First, the "savior" is satisfied with his position. Later, he becomes more and more unhappy. If events do not develop according to plan, then he feels unnecessary and insulted.
If you notice signs of the syndrome in yourself, then it makes sense to start developing a sense of self-esteem and self-love. And not try to "do good" to everyone around.
