'Because I want it this way': 5 signs that a child will sit around your neck
'10.06.2021'
Source: Detstrana
The communication of a loving parent with his child, especially a small one, can be described in three phrases: "Yes," "You can do anything," "I love you." Kids quickly realize that parents can be manipulated. How to understand that a child is about to sit on your neck in an interview with the publication Detstrana argues the senior lecturer of the Department of Psychology at the University of Synergy Anna Guseva.
"Becauze I whant so"
“Yours”, “mine”, “ours” are three words that will help to find the perfect balance in the relationship between parents and children. This rule applies not only to things, but also to building communication, plans. If you are tired after work, you do not feel well, or dream of an evening with a book - do not run to the park to get a child after hearing "but I want to." Find a compromise. First, let him (a) look after you, and then go out and walk the dog together. Do not forget about your own desires only because you are now a parent.
"It's your fault that I got a deuce"
Hyperresponsibility on the part of parents leads to a decrease in responsibility for the child. And let it seem to you that, helping him always and in everything, you are doing a good deed, in fact, you are raising a little idler. Tell, guide, but do nothing for the child. Otherwise, one day he will come to you with the words: "It's your fault that I got a deuce." And here you can’t even argue, because you did your homework for the child. So, change the situation before it’s too late.
“If you buy a phone, I’ll learn it”
Working parents often compensate for the lack of attention with gifts. For the lesson learned - a new toy, for the end of the school year at "five" - a bicycle and a trip to another country. As a result, the child ceases to see other motivation than money. And the hysteria in the store due to unbought toys is already the norm. Find the sphere that interests your child not “for the sake of the bonus”, but because it will enthrall him (her) in itself. And most importantly, the child should not see a “piggy bank” in you.
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“Mom, decide. Otherwise, I will feel bad ”
Do not try to solve all his problems for the child. Children's conflicts are adults, only in miniature. Their solution is preparation for adulthood. As soon as they heard: “Mom, decide! Mom, help, "think. You are growing up an adult, independent, interesting person, not an infantile creature. Do not rush to deal with the school teacher just because he looked askance at your child, or to run and give a slap to a badass classmate. See how the child will resolve the conflict. If necessary, help with advice.
“This is what you want so much”
Parents often try to grow their own “copies” from their children. If the children do not demonstrate outstanding results in sports, do not win the Olympics, do not conquer everyone with outstanding talents, then the parents are angry: “At your age, I already did this and that.” As a result, the child, feeling a priori inferior, generally ceases to try. Parries any comment: "This is what you want, not me." The advice is the same: take the child with what is interesting to him, and not to you!
The list of such phrases - “signals” for parents can be long. But the main thing is not to quench the apathy, aggression or laziness of the child, but to understand the reason every time.
