'Finding a husband is the second job': a Russian woman left for the USA and teaches how to cheat Americans
Source: Ekaterinburg Online
Olga Brookman is 50 years old, most of whom she lived in Yekaterinburg. And six years ago, Olga found a groom from the United States and went to him in sunny California. She calls the search for a husband the second job, she started a YouTube channel, where she teaches single Russian women how to find their happiness overseas.
In her videos, Olga tells how not to run into scammers, how to build relationships with an American, and also dispels myths about the United States, shows her everyday life, purchases of clothes and things, writes Ekaterinburg Online... The channel already has more than 46 thousand subscribers - judging by the comments, these are mostly Russians aged slightly (or strongly) over 30.
Olga moved to the US in 2012 year - then, she recalls, "everyone in Russia was waiting for California to sink, foreshadowed for her last year." Yekaterinburgburger said that she never intended to go abroad and always laughed at the women who had left.
- I thought, how so: can women really not find a man in Russia and live happily? What are they going there, who will they be there? They are there zero without a wand. How will they understand their man if they don't know the language? - says Olga. - For me it was something incredible, and I always thought that here it is necessary to find a common language with the Russian, and foreigners are generally people from another planet.
Olga lived with such convictions until she was 37 years old, until she divorced her husband. It turned out that at this age it is not so easy to find a man with whom you can "get accustomed", who will not annoy you, from whom you will not be sick.
- For ten years I lived alone, there were some acquaintances, but you understand how difficult it is to find your man at this age, - the immigrant recalls. - Loneliness suffocates you, but you understand that you cannot settle down with some men, and those with whom you could do not want to marry themselves. I would not want to be a “Girlfriend” for the rest of my life. Our men are very spoiled in relation to women. Those who are more or less on their feet need a younger one, and those who are at a broken trough, you know, do not want to take, wash, lift, regret again. Therefore, you remain in your loneliness and understand that by retirement you will be in a terrible state. This is called a dead end. I came to him when the children grew up, no prospects (neither in career, nor in personal life), everything is there, there is nothing more to strive for. Depression starts to overwhelm you. It seems that you are still full of strength, you want to have a person next to you who will take care of you, will worry about you - the usual desires of ordinary women. But you don't have such a person next to you. You look around - everyone is with couples, everyone is all right, happy, and you are walking alone.
At some point, Olga was disappointed in all Russian men. Then the adult daughter offered to try dating sites, helped register there. Threw hundreds of letters from foreigners, Olga did not expect such a stir.
- I thought: wow, how Russian women are in demand abroad, - says Olga.
There were many scammers and dubious personalities, but she especially liked one letter from a foreigner - the text is good, the photo of the man is “not repulsive,” the age is appropriate. Ekaterinburg woman replied, the relationship began to correspondence. Communicated, mainly through Google translator. And after three months they decided to meet, the man turned out to be exactly the way Olga had imagined him. After the first trip to the US, she began to apply for a bride visa to move permanently.
Together with her fiancé, they hired a lawyer and started filling out various forms, made letters that confirmed that they really had a relationship, that friends knew their correspondence, put photographs, checks, told which restaurants they went to, with whom they communicated. All this bureaucracy took a year.
- It was a very difficult process, because you hang as if on a thin thread, - recalls Olga. “Online dating is the thread that connects you and the person on the other side of the earth.” It can break at any time, and everything will collapse. There can be a lot of problems. A person is sick, has lost his job and cannot support you anymore, children are against, parents are many things. You always live in such a state that you have found your happiness, but you can lose it at any second.
There are so many women who corresponded, the relationship was tied up, and then they met and did not like each other. Imagine what work was done! Women write that it is very difficult when a person comes to you who makes you disgusted, and you have to spend time with him, go somewhere. If you embark on this path, then know that it is very difficult. That you will have in your life a second job, to which you will come in the evenings, sit, answer, search. A lot of need to go through the negativity, deceivers, extortionists.
- How was your life in America?
- I got accustomed very easily, I did not have any depression or addiction to the mentality. Not once in five years has there been a thought that I want to go back. Of course, there were moments that are difficult to get used to. For example, when you come to America and it turns out that you don't owe anyone anything here. Anyway, I came with the thought that I needed to eat, cook, clean up, wash, then listen to discontent - to fulfill all these women's duties. But here you are not pressed or broken, it is not easy to get used to it. I still have the feeling that I am not fulfilling my female duties, which I am used to doing in Russia. The question arises: why then a woman is needed at all, since she is not a dishwasher or a cook?
Still, it was difficult to get used to a resident of Yekaterinburg and to the open American mentality - to all these constant smiles and goodwill even from strangers.
- It is still very difficult for me to look into the eyes of people who are going towards, and say to them: "Good morning!", "Hello!" I lower my eyes down the street and look up only at the last moment, - says Olga. - It's hard to talk in queues, to make compliments ... I'm a rather reserved person, and when I go somewhere on business, I don't want to talk to anyone, look at anyone, when I fly on the plane, I don't want to talk to my neighbor. All the time it seems to me: “Lord, what difference does it make to a person what happened to me that evening?”, And I am not at all interested in listening to what happened with him, what kind of cake he ate with his children or what clothes he bought himself. But I try, because it's much better than being rude to you.
- Have your hopes and expectations come true?
- Ask me now what I was waiting for, and I will not even answer. If you say that I came here for the sake of my husband, to make him happy, this is a complete lie. Many people want to present themselves like this: "I came here for you, rejoice!" But my husband and I have a completely different attitude to this - I came here for myself. I could not expect anything, because I knew practically nothing about America and California, there was very little information. What have I been waiting for? I just wanted a happy female life. It was very nice that somewhere on the other side of the world a person who needs you is waiting for you, he takes care of you. Single women will understand me - you always want to have a person by your side who thinks about you all day and night, and you about him. This was the only thing I was probably waiting for.
For some reason I thought that all countries should know everything about Russia. When I arrived here, I was very surprised that no one here knows either Pugacheva or Kirkorov. I was shocked - they all seem to live in Miami, how are they not listened to here? Later I discovered that Russia copied a lot from American television. I watch the programs and understand that I saw them in Russia, but with our heroes. It turns out that Russians listen to American performers, and not America listens to Pugacheva and Kirkorov. It's funny to me now, but I came here with the thought that everyone knows what is happening in Russia.
In America, everyone doesn't care about Russia - so, they know some passing information and that's it. This is said in Russia a lot about America. People here treat all nationalities and Russians very well. This surprised me too.
- What difficulties have you encountered?
- The biggest problem was with the language. There were some misunderstandings with my husband, but they used correspondence, looked for ways to find a common language. Many women have seen enough videos, come here and get married, just to catch on. Of course, there are a lot of divorces. It does not work out, because it is very difficult to come to an agreement, to accept a person when you come “to marry a country” and some kind of visible well-being. When I thought that I would endure, fall in love.
- A stereotypes about America were confirmed?
“I thought all Americans were fat and stupid. I went out at the airport and began to look where all these fat men were. But I saw completely normal people. Then, when I had already lived a little in America, I asked myself the question: why are they so stupid and stupid, but they live well? You begin to understand this and understand that this is an imposed opinion. These expectations were smashed to smithereens, I saw a completely different life that is presented to us from TV screens in the words of Zadornov.
When Olga gathered in the USA, her family was very worried. Mom and sister did not find a place for themselves, did not imagine how Olga's new life would turn out. But in the end, as she says, America was discovered not only by her, but also by her relatives.
- If I had not come here, my relatives would not have discovered America for themselves either. It turns out that by expanding my boundaries, emerging from the swamp, from which I was afraid to get out, I not only broadened my horizons, and my family too. They discovered a completely different world for themselves. We were very afraid that we would not see each other for many years, but it did not work out that way. Skype, WhatsApp - everything is at hand and very accessible, you can chat and see each other 10 times a day. Because I live on, the relationship is even warmer than steel. All my relatives have already visited me. I myself travel to Russia twice a year.