Why I would never give my daughter to an American kindergarten
'20.02.2019'
Source: Letidor
At the peak of her popularity, the performer of the hits “It's just rain”, “I’m in charge”, “It didn’t work, it didn’t grow together” Sasha went to the USA. In America, the singer acquired the pseudonym Sasha Gradiva, at times increased the army of their fans and ... became a mother!
The singer and her two-year-old daughter, Uma, came to Moscow so that the baby could see the city that her mother so often talks about to see the World Cup finals and meet again with Russian fans in a completely new status for the artist. In an exclusive interviewLetidoru»Gradiva told about the colossal power of Russian roots, about the peculiarities of life and upbringing of children in the USA and how the little daughter inspired her to return to her homeland.
Sasha, I want to start our conversation with a discussion of the events 12-year-old. You released dozens of clips, produced a show on MTV, collected “Luzhniki”, your songs knew everything by heart. And suddenly you decided to leave for the USA. Crane in the sky - it's a huge risk!
I remember that very many people twisted their fingers at their heads when they heard that I want to move: they say everything is so cool, why do you need it? And I felt some kind of creative claustrophobia in Russia, I felt cramped. The desire to go beyond their own boundaries was much stronger than the fear of something unknown.
But at that time you were 27 years old. Did you think about children?
Honestly, in this regard, I have some kind of late reflex. I remember in 24 my boyfriend gave a hint about a child. I was covered with a wave of indignation.
One thought that I should provide my body for carrying a child was for me from an alien series. Yes, terrible egoism. But by the 27 years everything changed, I thought about the baby. Not to say that I set out to give birth, but at least this thought has ceased to be disgusting to me. In the end, I became a mom only ten years later - a few days before my 37 anniversary!
By the way, I flipped through your Instagram and caught myself thinking that it was absolutely not a mother. There are no "pregnant" photo shoots, no mimic frames with palms and heels ...
It is even strange to say this, but then a true Russian superstition has found me. For the first three months I didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy, not even my relatives. Till the seventh month actively worked. Feeling was great, I was engaged in the move. And besides, the stomach was practically invisible.
I remember that in the seventh month I went to a party in a bright loose t-shirt, no one noticed anything.
I had to make coming out in the eighth month - put on a tight outfit to dot the i's (laughs).
I can not ask about the difference of mentalities. Was it difficult for you to build a relationship with a foreigner?
Not at all. In general, I am a gypsy in life - I have not lived anywhere for more than two years, so I have international friends. I'm so comfortable. I believe that nationality and place of birth are not at all the indicators by which one can judge a person's character. Even people from the same social group and the same status can have conflicts. I don’t think there are more risks with a foreigner.
Although there is one “but”: if you have different religions with your partner, this can be a serious stumbling block in a relationship.
Of course, Americans have different views, a different mentality, but, according to my feelings, this difference is not very noticeable in personal life.
What do you think about American kindergartens? I know that not all Russians are close to their method.
Even on pain of death, I would not have given my daughter to an American kindergarten. I prefer to live without rose-colored glasses. I am against many fundamental things in America. Including me, as mother, local kindergartens are not satisfied. Just imagine: it is not customary to take off shoes there. This is done supposedly for the sake of safety: in case of emergency, children will not waste time on shoes.
Meals are also a problem: there are no soups, cereals and other hot dishes familiar to the Russian child, instead they offer sandwiches and snacks for lunch. To put it mildly, not the most healthy food for a child. Another moment is culture. In our country, people try to dress the child beautifully: the must-have for a girl is socks and bows. And this is not kitsch, no, this is a simple manifestation of taste and respect for others.
American women, for example, wear smart dresses to a party, but it is quite normal to take a child to kindergarten in pajamas.
On the one hand, there is nothing scary about it. But on the other hand, we do not wash my head for the sake of pathos, but just to be clean and tidy, to feel confident and not to cause dislike for the interlocutor. To some extent, this is an indicator of the level of culture and education.
In addition, the American medical system strains me: for example, they can easily prescribe an antidepressant to a child under one year old. For me, this is wild and unacceptable.
What about Russian language in kindergartens?
I never thought about it before, but now, with the advent of Uma, this question has become quite acute for me. My grandmother and grandfather are big connoisseurs of the Russian language. I remember that Ozhegov’s dictionary was a reference book in our family. Instead of a new portion of cartoons “Well, wait a minute!” The grandmother handed me a dictionary and said: “Teach, granddaughter, new words, how to write and pronounce them correctly”. Therefore, it is important for me that Uma knows how to speak with me in pure Russian, know Russian culture and traditions.
So you were afraid that the girl would forget about her roots if she did not come to Russia?
Of course. In America, she had a Russian school and a Russian nanny. She attended special language classes. But if the language can be learned from books and with a teacher, then it is impossible to truly feel the culture from books. Mind should see everything with her own eyes and be in the environment. I want her to know firsthand how people in our country act in a given situation, hope for it, cut from the shoulder, and so on (smiles).
I want Uma to feel Russian.
Are you planning to live only in Russia?
No, we continue to live in two countries. I have a lot of important projects in Los Angeles, so Uma and I wander here and there. Perhaps we will spend part of the time in the UK, because I also have projects and commitments there.
How does Uma's dad treat such “nomadic” life?
We parted. Now between us there is a trial for a daughter. Thank God, we were not officially married, otherwise everything would have been much more complicated. I have nothing more to say about this while the trial is underway. Unfortunately, America dictates its own rules: if you do not have money for a good lawyer (and there their services are cosmically expensive), then it is very difficult to fight. And vice versa, if there are opportunities, then you can sue anyone for anything. For example, you can slander a person and sue him. He will need a lot of money to justify himself and prove his innocence.
It seems to me that in Russia the judicial system is more humane, especially with regard to mothers and children. I don’t understand how to separate a child and a mother if it is adequate!
Mind communicates with dad?
They are seen, but because of our constant movements, this rarely happens. I do not limit their communication and I am not going to put a spoke in the wheel. But at the same time I want the rights in the matters of child upbringing in full.
It seems to me that the mother, in principle, has more moral rights to the child than the father. Think of it: the child is made from the cells and genes of the mother and father, but he is the blood and flesh of the mother. Nature arranged it. Yes, and psychologists agree that the mother for the child is the most important person, at least in the early stages of life and development.
Are you not afraid that one day your daughter will ask why you and her dad are not together?
At first I was very worried about the mind in this regard. But, unfortunately, there are very few ideal families around. Do not tell me that I am a failure and think only about myself.
In my opinion, tolerating unhealthy relationships with your husband just for the sake of marriage is fundamentally wrong.
I know what I'm talking about, believe me. My parents also divorced very early. Therefore, I am sure of one thing: it is better for parents to be apart, but happy, than together, but unhappy. The child in whose family the parents constantly quarrel is much worse.
In this sense, Mind is lucky. Her mother is beautiful, strong, successful and happy.
Thank! I’m really full of strength and inspiration, I’m ready for new achievements and I’m working on new songs that I hope the listeners will love as many old hits.
In addition, you have a new name! Why Gradiva?
I wanted to add the second part to my name - a kind of energetically significant addition. When we wrote albums in America and prepared for the tour, we began to look for some new image. Long thought and found it - Gradiva. This is a very powerful word. So they began to call me in New York - Sasha Gradiva. In general, Gradiva is an ancient Roman goddess who passed through walls. Later, in the twentieth century, it was this character who became the muse of the Impressionists, and that was what his wife Gala called Salvador Dali, whom he often portrayed in his paintings.
Now I understand why you called your daughter such an unusual name.
Oh, you should know how many names I went through. As soon as she learned that she was pregnant, she immediately began to invent. I always liked the Soviet cartoon about Umka, and besides, I am a fan of the actress Uma Thurman.
Uma's name has the strongest energy.
I gave the girl a double name. At first she thought about the Russian version. But then she decided that the daughter is a mulatto and, for example, the name Frosya will definitely not suit her (laughs). And purely American names, such as, for example, Samantha or Jessica, I did not like. I wanted something quite exotic and rare, so in the end my daughter's name is Uma-Michel.
No wonder they say: how do you call a ship ...
That's for sure. After I added a pseudonym to a name, my creative life changed. I am sure that we have only the best with Uma!
