Why your man does not give gifts: the opinion and advice of a psychologist
'25.06.2021'
Source: Jana delphi
He is unlikely to remember about your favorite flowers when you are upset, and your favorite cake - just like that, for no reason. About a book, a dress or a bicycle with a basket, which I really, really like, we are not talking at all! You are sad and think that, perhaps, he does not love you, are offended or stage scenes ... And what do psychologists think about this?
Dr. Alexander Sharov, with whom the editors talked Jana delphi, the first thing he asks is a provocative question, which can immediately confound many women, and maybe, on the contrary, immediately explain everything:
“How does a man know that he should give you something?” At what point in his life should he have received this valuable information? ”
Judge for yourself: this was clearly not in the physics or chemistry curriculum. This was not discussed during the training session on the milling machine. And they did not tell the army during the assembly and disassembly of the machine. And at the university, where a future engineer was made of a man, there was clearly no talk of gifts for a woman.
Of course, one can immediately object, the psychologist continues, that mothers are taught to give boys gifts to classmates, and everyone collected money for March 8 already at a conscious age, for example, in the eighth class ... But the problem is that he was a child then, and in his head, these rituals were in no way associated with the relationship between a man and a woman.
Gifts are a purely feminine theme. And an attribute of the female world. Look, when a girl goes to meet her friends, she will surely run into the store and buy a couple of cute little things or even bake a cake in advance to create a certain atmosphere for the meeting and to please her nice people. Imagine the same in a men's company?
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Very unlikely. The male world is about struggle and the need to be constantly on the alert. Remember, says the psychologist Sharov, at least the films Die Hard or 300 Spartans. Distracted from saving the world, the main character did not run to the flower shop for his woman's favorite tulips, whatever one may say.
Of course, a different development of events is possible if a boy of years in 14 – 15 is put in order and explained that gifts mean to a woman. It is even better if you have a clear example in the form of a father.
But! There is nothing humiliating in taking and revealing this secret to him one day. For example, like this: “Honey, you can buy me these tulips, I love them very much. When you give them to me, I feel your care, it is so sweet and pleasant ... "
Then words can follow that will show your man how cool it is to make gifts. And do not forget to praise and rejoice after he does it. Believe me, next time it will be easier for you to ask for something, and it will be easier for him to understand what you want. Men are actually happy for clues.
Note: prompts, not reproaches.
