Why do selfish moms have the happiest children?

Do not sleep nights, brush your teeth once a week and endlessly carry children on “development” - the norm for many mothers. But there are those who, on maternity leave, have the audacity to get enough sleep, go to the movies and look at a manicure. “Egoists!” - any “professional” mother will diagnose. But psychologists say that it is to a healthy egoism in the process of motherhood and you need to strive if you are interested in the successful future of your child, writes “Detstrana".

Psychologists on the side of "selfish"

We open “If it’s difficult with a child” by L. Petranovskaya: “time-outs” during the day, regular rest (a visit to the cinema or lunch with a friend) and mini-trips are necessary in order to have the strength not to fall for children.

We read Anna Bykov's “lazy mother”: to get settled with embroidery on the window sill or to “shake up” the negative to music every mother should learn. For the good of the whole family.

Not to mention P. Drukerman, author of the best-selling book “French Children Do Not Spit Food”. She sings a whole ode to French women who go to work through 2 a month after giving birth, sleep at night and watch their appearance.

Leave the baby in the care of her grandmother and no one calls to go to the clubs. We are talking only about how, being a mother, not losing yourself as a person, that is, about healthy egoism.

What the mother does not do is “selfish”

• Does not act to the detriment of itself. With red eyes from lack of sleep and hungry, she will not go with a pram to the park. For such cases, there is a balcony, also with fresh air. While the baby is sleeping there, she is taking a nap and quietly having lunch.
• Does not allow hypertext. Watching every step of the child, being afraid to move to the toilet, is tiring and unproductive. It's easier to let him crawl and play himself, securing the space around him.
• Does not focus on "development". It’s hard not to agree with the psychologist Anna Bykova: the games and communication with the mother are more necessary to the child than the ability to read in 2,5 and classes in the circle for young composers. And for this you do not need to go to the edge of the world, spending a lot of strength.
• Do not seek out a child's disease. For typical “yazheterrey” this is a special “delicacy” - to catch sympathetic views, devoting all the time to the “sick” child. “He is a year old, and he does not read poetry!”, “Everybody walks, but he doesn’t — run to the orthopedist!” Constantly nervous and carrying a child for paid (necessarily paid) neurologists and speech therapists is a favorite entertainment of many “unselfish” mothers.
• Do not spend the last on branded items for crumbs. Limited budget? It is reasonable to admit: from the Ivanovo sliders the baby will grow as fast as from the jumpsuit by Ralph Lauren.

What makes the mother "selfish"

• Do not refuse breastfeeding without good reason. She understands how convenient it is: the baby began to cry at night - the chest; sick - chest; I want to lie down, and the child screams - the chest. No fuss with sterilization, bottles, nipples and the selection of mixtures. And what a savings!
• Take care of yourself. It's not even about manicures, but about basic needs: eat on time, monitor hygiene and get enough sleep if possible.
• Takes help. My husband returned from work, grandmother came to visit - what is the heroism for, falling from fatigue? Change the diaper and play “ladies” they are definitely not worse than mommy.
• Has a favorite activity. Someone is a hobby, and someone - a freelancing for the soul, takes a couple of hours a day. The “egoist” will never lose herself on maternity leave.
• Remembers her husband. The family is not only mother and child. Dad also needs to be taken care of: clean clothes, delicious dinners, and finally sex. And in return, he will once offer to sit with the baby, so that his beloved “egoist” has slept an extra hour.

And here are the children

Moreover, children are empathic who read emotions. If mom is happy by bringing herself small joys, the children will also learn to be happy.

Unrestricted in games and space and not burdened by over-reliance, children of mom “egoists” develop faster and communicate better with their peers.

They do not require constant feedback: "I took you to gymnastics for six months, and you did not become Alina Kabaeva!" They are confident: their mother accepts them as they are, free to choose their hobbies and ways of life.

And finally, these children have a childhood. Mom- "selfish", able to fill the balance of life and take care of yourself, will never whine in the presence of a child. And in 3, he will not become a small adult, taking care of her.

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