Why Russian women seem to be rude and bitchy to foreigners
'28.05.2021'
Source: Lady.mail.ru
Legends about Russian women go all over the world: some admire them, others are afraid of them. And while thousands of men dream of a lover or a Russian spouse, the most perspicacious foreigners have long moved to Russia, some have even chosen their betrothed.
Journalists Lady.mail.ru asked expatriates about what our compatriots amazed them about.
Darrah Gavin, Ireland
36 years old, has lived in Russia since 2006
What surprised me
The difference between women of different ages. Women of the older generation seem to me much stronger physically and stronger in spirit. Young girls, on the other hand, look very delicate and emotional, like gentle princesses.
About the date in Russian
In St. Petersburg, I usually met girls at work, through colleagues or friends. Dating is more formalized - you have to invite a girl somewhere: in a cafe, to an exhibition, to a concert. This is more like the traditions of America.
In Ireland and the UK, dates are more informal. People usually just get to know each other at parties, chat, girls are not really used to the ceremonies.
I met my future wife in 2009. She was a little shocked that the first date was not organized as she was used to. We had time to visit three places in one evening: a strange Algerian cafe, a glamorous lounge-restaurant and a well-known bar in the narrow circles. It was more customary for her to go on a date at an exhibition, concert or picnic, and not to the bar!
About Russian women
Russian women are more open and honest with themselves and their men: they want to be with someone who can take care of them and their children. Many struggled to survive in the 1990s, so it's easy to see where women got this aspiration.
Irish and British women lie to themselves and their partners that they do not want to get married and have children. But, having stepped over a thirty-year boundary, they begin to worry that time is rapidly running out. They talk a lot about the power of women and equality, about independence and building their own careers. And at the same time complain about the lack of "acceptable" or "successful" men. That is, in fact, a man should be better off than themselves. At the same time, they deny that the material side of the issue is important to them.
About the distribution of roles
Regardless of whether my wife is Russian or not, I personally hold the opinion that we can have either a modern model, when both partners work and are equally involved in home and children, or traditional, when a husband is the main source of income, and a wife with children and on the farm. I consider an unacceptable situation when someone in a pair benefits from both relationship models.
About work
At work, Russian women are always benevolent but reserved. Making friendships between men and women is not accepted here. There are clear boundaries in what is allowed to speak in the presence of colleagues (jokes below the baseboard and foul language are taboo).
In Ireland, the attitude towards colleagues does not depend on gender. We can be friends and / or romantically interested in each other. When working with women, you can allow yourself to relax. But crossing the line is not worth it, it can be dangerous both for professional relationships and for further career development.
Rick Nolander, Netherlands
29 years old, has lived in Russia for 7 months
What surprised me
Russian women are very caring, incredibly beautiful, even luxurious. They also give “orders”, what and when it is necessary to do without question. I describe them with the word "dominant" in its most positive meaning.
When I first came to visit my wife, they forced me to wash my hands and take off my shoes. At first it seemed to me that it was too much, but now I’m used to it: at home I take off my street clothes and put on my home clothes. Yes, you will not relax with a Russian girl!
About the date in Russian
On a date with a Russian lady of the heart, you have to be a real gentleman: give your hand, open the door, help take off and put on your coat.
About Russian women
Russians constantly wear beautiful dresses and shoes with heels, more well-groomed and luxurious, while in the Netherlands casual style and flat-soled shoes are more popular. Women in Russia are more closed, but at the same time more bare their bodies than the super-sociable, but more modestly dressed Dutch women.
Inaccuracies in translation can make Russians seem too rude and bitchy. In Russian, it is normal to say “give me the menu” with a polite tone, but in English, and even more so in Dutch, it sounds like an order. In the Netherlands we say, "Can you please give me a menu?" That is, we do not use the imperative mood, this is only permissible in the army.
Russians chat on the phone a lot and can call 10 once a day.
About the distribution of roles
The model of relations in Russia is more old-fashioned. People get married early, give birth to children. It is wildness to give birth here at 45, although in my country no one is biased towards age. In Russia, you must first get married and only then have children. In Holland, no one will condemn you for an illegitimate child.
Otherwise, there is no difference. My wife Patricia and I love life, we care about each other and about our son. If these components are present in family life, then it doesn't matter what country you are from, what nationality and what language you speak.
About work
Working with Russian women is wonderful. They are engaged in their business with pleasure, friendly and educated, and this is incredibly important in the work. Although I am amazed how they, especially in winter, come to work when it is dark, go away when it is dark, and at the same time remain cheerful.
Alessandro Bonomelli, Italy
32 years old, lives in Russia since 2014
What surprised me
The most amazing thing for me was to realize that there are truly honest, open and sincere women in the world. And many of them live in Russia.
About Russian women
Russian women are much more beautiful than Italians. They are very feminine: in movement, in gaze, in figure, in dancing, in speech. And they willingly demonstrate it. Modern Italians hesitate to seem flirtatious.
They are calmer, simpler, flexible in nature, it is easy to make friends and get to know Russians. Honest, unforgettable. Italians are capable of speaking one thing in the face, but behind the back - quite another. A small quarrel can turn into a breakdown.
Russian girls are easy-going, they are good companions. Together you can watch football and spend active holidays in nature. Italians take more care of themselves after marriage and childbirth. They can easily keep up a conversation on any topic, even in a purely male company.
About the date in Russian
I did not immediately meet my beloved wife, before her I had a relationship. I was surprised by the simplicity of the girls' approach to the first conversations, without looking down. They agree to a date if they like you. Italians imagine more: they will refuse to the last and play with a guy, even if they really like him. They love to make scandals.
From the unpleasant - the traditional relationship between the sexes. I personally do not mind the old-fashioned romance with flowers and willingly paid the bills for two, but when these gestures are treated very formally, I still mind. Courtship should be spontaneous and not follow endless rules.
Some girls can very quickly forget about you if they decide that they do not like you - as if they are turning the next page of a book.
About the distribution of roles
Russians often treat weddings as due. As a result, can jump out to marry a far from ideal and unloved person. It is very sad!
A more traditional role distribution is part of a national mentality. If you are a man, you need to prove that you can feed your family. There is nothing bad in it, it just seems to me that it is better when it is done out of a sense of duty and love towards your family, and not towards society. This is the real foundation.
In our family, the separation of roles is more blurry, and I am glad about it. Relationships are built on the basis of love and mutual understanding.
About work
I have little experience. It works well, I can’t mention any special differences with women of other nationalities. True, Russians are not very patient in terms of time and expectations - this always unnerves relaxed Italians. It was pleasantly surprised that there are more women in top positions than in my homeland.
