Why you can not force a child to eat: childhood stories and the advice of a psychologist
'14.10.2019'
Source: deti.mail.ru
Mom is in a hurry, and the child refuses to open his mouth and eat porridge. She is ready to tell him anything, just to feed him as soon as possible and go about her business. Author “Children Mail.ru”Olga Vykhodchenko collected the most typical methods of persuasion and asked the specialists what they could lead to.
I am from the category of those children who, according to any grandmother, “do not eat anything at all.” This frightening “nothing at all” turns into hours of persuasion in the spirit of “a spoon for mom, a spoon for dad”, and ultimately cause a persistent aversion to food.
And it’s okay only grandmothers, but about the same thing happens with modern parents, and in the garden, and sometimes even at school ... Now I can remember stories with humor related to my feeding, but in childhood I was not at all laughing .
“Eat, otherwise Bear will drown”
About four people I heard about the Drowned Bear from four people, from which I conclude that this horror story was quite popular with Soviet parents. And who knows, maybe someone pronounces it at the table so far?
The child is presented with a beautiful plate, at the bottom of which is a teddy bear or another hero. Then soup is poured into this plate, and if the child is naughty, mother pronounces the sacramental phrase: “Eat soon, otherwise the Bear will drown”.
- Commentary by psychologist Elena Naydina. Perhaps this phrase seems like an adult harmless joke, but the only normal motivation to eat for a child should be a feeling of hunger. The task of parents is to teach him to recognize this feeling, not to ignore it and stop in time when it passes. Obviously, the story of the sinking Bear does not contribute to this. On the contrary, the child begins to get nervous during a meal, rush, learns to stuff food into himself, not sorting out the taste.
“Until you reach, you do not get up from the table”
The mother of 6-year-old Katie loved to repeat: "I cooked so much, tried so hard, and you pick your finger on the plate." Then papa authoritarianly declared: “Until the plate is clean, I won’t let go for a walk!” There was usually no problem with this - Katya quietly stuffed cutlets in her pockets and flew out into the street with a bullet.
This continued until the parents noticed a fraud. They began to monitor their daughter's nutrition more carefully. As a result, Katya was brought first to hysteria, then to vomiting, and everything ended with a visit to the doctor.
- Commentary by psychologist Elena Naydina. It is important for parents to understand that a child develops their own taste, possibly very different from their own. And some children are especially sensitive not even to taste, but to the consistency of dishes. Boiled onions, cartilage in cutlets, lumps in porridge, milk froth, slippery, jelly-like and gelatinous up to a certain age will cause them a persistent vomiting reflex (it is possible that in adulthood too).
Fighting this situation with persuasion or ultimatums is pointless. Try to study and gently shape the tastes of the child, offer him new dishes at least ten times, but in different forms. So you gradually expand the child’s diet.
On the subject: 'Soup and porridge are not necessary': a gastroenterologist debunked 5 myths about child nutrition
“Another spoon, otherwise you won’t grow up”
“You won’t grow up” is easily replaced by everything that is important for the child: “you won’t be strong, you won’t be able to play football, you won’t win competitions, you won’t become an astronaut” (underline what is necessary). Of course, I grew up, although in childhood I was really thin and petty. True, I suspect that my growth is a “merit” of genetics, and not a force-fed curd.
- Comment by nutritionist Elena Lykova. Serving sizes may not be the same for different children. They should depend on the age, weight, physique, level of physical and psycho-emotional activity of the child, his current state of health. If you think the child is undernourished, consult a nutritionist.
We show pizza and give broccoli
And this wonderful idea appeared not so long ago: a child is shown one product (the one that he loves), but at the last moment they change it to another.
- Commentary by psychologist Elena Naydina. Quite a harmless entertainment: the baby learns the world - through sight, by ear, by touch, by taste. When what he sees does not coincide with what he receives in reality, it clearly does not lead to healthy eating habits and does not develop a trusting relationship with parents.
5 Rules for Parents “Not Good”
It is difficult to give universal advice equally suitable for all children. However, some rules can still be distinguished.
1. Literally from the first feeding, develop the taste interests of the child. Offer him a variety of products (within the age range) at least 10 times each. Gradually begin to vary the consistency - from mashed potatoes to larger pieces (again, within the age limits).
On the subject: The damage is irreversible: the teenager lost his sight and hearing due to eating fast food
2. When introducing a new product into the diet, suggest that the child simply try and do not force to eat up to the end. If he doesn’t like it, try next time to cook the product in combination with something else (for example, you can add an apple in carrot puree).
3. Never eat in front of the TV, do not sort things out and discuss problems at the table. Eat in a relaxed and welcoming atmosphere.
4. Adhere to approximately the same diet that you offer your child. Believe me, it’s unlikely that you can feed it broccoli while you eat sausages with pasta.
5. And the most important rule: never make a child eat!
