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'American children don't cry': an opinion about the peculiarities of school education in the USA


Source: Yandex Zen

What is bullying, how much does it cost to study in an American school and why American children don't cry, says the author of the Capital of the World blog at Yandex Zen.

Photo: Shutterstock

Tell me, did your father teach you how to fight as a child? In most cases, dads (like some mothers) insist that boys go in for karate and boxing. Even girls are sometimes taught basic self-defense skills.

What do you think is the situation with this in America? Do American parents teach to give change to the abuser immediately?

So, today you will learn the truth - they do not teach! In America, it is not customary to fight, and all kinds of fights, including school fights, are strictly prohibited. If a child at school hits someone once, then his parents will be immediately called to the director, and the first warning will be issued. If this child throws his fists at someone for the second time, then, in principle, expulsion is possible.

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Yes, of course, you can know the elementary self-defense techniques, but believe me, they certainly won't come in handy at school or in kindergarten, because in America children are taught to live as conflict-free as possible.

Immigrants who move to live in the United States with their children first of all think about how the education system works and where to send a child for knowledge? Let me briefly tell you about school and preschool education so that you have an idea of ​​it, and at the same time compare it with ours, domestic.

There are several types of educational institutions in America:

  1. The very first, initial, is called pre-school or Pre-kindergaden... That is, it is actually a nursery, as well as a kindergarten for children under five years old.
  2. Further, from the age of five, children go to Kindergaden - the so-called zero grade. Although, if literally translated, it will be exactly a kindergarten, which causes a little confusion. But remember that Kindergaden is not a kindergarten, but a kindergarten. These concepts should be distinguished. It lasts only one year.
  3. After Kindergaden, children already go to primary school, which is called elementary school. There they study from first to sixth grades.
  4. Next comes high school Middle school, these are grades 7-8, where children aged 12-14 study.
  5. And then it starts high school, that is, grades 9-12 for adolescents from 15 to 18 years old. Yes, Americans are in 12 classes.

What education do you have to pay for in America?

This is also a fairly common question among immigrants, so let's clear it up. I'll cite California as an example (as you know, this is one of the most expensive states), in other regions things can be a little different.

Here, all three levels of education: Elementary, Middle and High school - can be both paid and free, and parents always have a choice where to send their child to study. In paid schools, tuition costs from $ 1000 to $ 4000 per month, again, everything depends on the duration of this very school.

A schoolchild in America can start studying even on a tourist visa, that is, you just need to collect all the necessary documents and medical certificates for this. Usually schools give a list of those documents that must be provided for admission. And that's it, the child goes to study.

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In America, the positioning is generally such that education should be accessible. And it doesn't matter what your status is, if you want to study - please come and study!

What and how American children play

An amazing observation: American children have fun with slightly different toys than we do. For example, in Russia everything is simple with this: girls play with strollers and dolls, boys with toy cars and toy soldiers.

What do American kids play? Usually these are all sorts of plush animals, or scooters, bicycles, in general, something for outdoor activities. It is quite difficult to meet a boy with a toy pistol or a slingshot here, as well as a girl with a doll stroller.

Because here, in principle, from childhood they do not program for anything: so that the boy must be a defender, and the girl is the mistress, the keeper of the hearth. There is one program here - so that the child grows up as a happy person, surrounded by love and care.

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Very often you can hear people say that American schoolchildren only sit and play with toys, that everything is not serious with them, and that education is generally poor. But we went to first grade - and childhood ended.

There is no such thing in America, their education system is built in such a way that at the initial stages they simply try not to overload the children so suddenly. Their childhood did not end, but reading and writing were simply connected to it. Their children, even in kindergarten, already know how to read and write, know the alphabet - in general, they have these basic skills. And at the same time, when a child finishes school and enters the university, he perfectly knows how to do everything, and his level of knowledge is very high.

There are various funny things in American schools, for example, they have a Crazy hair day - a day when all children come with all sorts of funny hairstyles, and not only children, but the whole school in general, even teachers. Or, for example, the day when everyone comes in pajamas.


We have already said that you cannot fight in an American school, but what to do if everyone is young, energy is overwhelming, different characters collide. In American schools there is such a thing as bullying, that is, children do not fight, but they can crush each other morally.

Schools are undoubtedly trying to combat this - for this, classes are reshuffled every year. Let's say a child studied in the fifth grade with some students, and when he moves to the sixth grade, in the same school, he will study with other children.

What else can Americans do besides bullying? Spit! By the way, even adults very often spit when they cannot resolve the conflict with words. That is, you can't hit, but you want to do something, so they can just spit in each other's face or feet - it really depends on upbringing.

Why American Children Don't Cry

So, it's time to tell you why American children don't cry, what's going on? Everything goes, of course, from an early age. They say that children "mirror" their parents, that is, they behave exactly like them. If parents are nervous, aggressive, constantly swearing, then children often simply copy this behavior. Conversely, with kind, responsive parents, children will be exactly the same.

Besides, the children here are very open-minded. A completely unfamiliar child can easily approach you on the street, wave his hand to you with a smile and start telling a story. Nobody is afraid to talk, start a conversation. And a suddenly excited parent will not run up to the child, shaking his finger: “Don't talk to this uncle, he's a stranger.”

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You must admit that in our culture it is customary to constantly warn our children: do not go there, do not climb, move away, kill yourself, drop it, and so on. It is clear that even if there is some rigor here, we say this with concern, but American parents do not do that. They do it in a playful manner, they often call their kids Buddy (“buddy”). They turn to them: "Hey, buddy, climb the hill, climb down, carefully, let me support you." That is, American parents are very loyal and calm, and this, undoubtedly, is passed on to their children. They do not shout at their children, do not hang up strict prohibitions, and children do not become spoiled from this, they grow up as completely normal, happy people.

I'm not even talking about cases when a child, God forbid, has to be spanked. This is simply unacceptable in America. According to the law, you do not have the right to do anything to a child, they can actually call the police for a slap on the head, take you to the police station, and then the support services will deal with this for a very long time.

I always listen to stories with great horror, about how a child is beaten with a belt, some kind of rods, it's so awful, and I always support people to stop doing this, because this has a great effect on the psyche and character. You can't beat children, and I really like that this is not the case in America, that Americans are very careful about children, and if such cases suddenly occur, then immediately - the police. Therefore, American children do not cry, they simply do not have a reason for this!

Original column published on channel "Capital of the World" on Yandex Zen

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