What is the most harmonious marriage? Is it worth it after a divorce immediately rush to search for a new "second half"? Consider the American version.
Many husbands - long life
“My third husband taught me to spend money, and the fourth had to pay for it,” Miss Rose laughs carelessly, talking about the problems of her husbands, which she never took to heart.
I met her in the pool, where she comes in a swimsuit and make-up, writes Veronika Mironova for the magazine “Arguments and Facts“. She is many years old, she competes with the divas of black and white cinema, says that the actress Zsa Zhi Gabor had only 9 husbands (among them - the owner of the Hilton hotels and even the prince), and she - Miss Rose - 11! And they are also famous: one took part in the film about Tarzan, and he himself, like the director, was from the Weissmüller family.
I remember the film, I understand how long Miss Rose began to write her marriage history and how well preserved. She is special, very lively. Most of my American acquaintances have one husband, some are in the honorable second marriage, a couple of strong women are in the third. The more husbands there were, the more interesting the woman turned out to be, the better she looked. And this is not just my personal impression.
According to scientists, those who marry several times, on average, live longer than those who had only one satellite in their lives.
English anthropologists have studied life expectancy in those countries where polygamous marriages are allowed, and it turned out that men live there on average for 10 – 12 years longer than their husbands, who by law only have one wife. And what about women? Scientists believe that it is also “beneficial” for them to have several husbands, if not simultaneously, then in turn. And to stay up in divorced or widowed means to slow down the natural process of life and even shorten life.
Married or not?
The fact that family life is much healthier than a bachelor, a proven fact: "marriage" people live longer than single people, they have less stress in their lives, they even catch colds less often. It is not by chance that Hollywood actresses, who have a much wider choice of men than ordinary women, almost never live alone: their life is a constant transition from one marriage to another.
They set an example and change the customary stereotypes of marriage. Actress Joan Collins, who officially married 5 once, confessed that she was not looking for a husband in the new marriage, but a “wife” - a man who would take care, warm the soup and serve slippers, wait for her at home while she earns money. True, finding such a "wife", Joan Collins quickly tired and left her half for someone else.
In the US today, more than 20% of women earn more than their husbands.
My neighbor Miss Amanda works at a bank, and my husband is raising two children. For three years my wife was fine with this, and on the fourth, Miss Amanda said that she was “tired of 'wearing pants'', 'wants to be a woman' and 'something needs to be changed!'
No tears and storms
The speed with which American friends decide to change their partner or divorce is staggering. It happens all of a sudden, without visible storms, no last warning, no tears and no reconciliation. They just leave or ask her husband to urgently leave the house. Over the past three years, before my eyes, suddenly, it seemed to me, 59-year-old Miss Flora left her husband because “tired of his character” and Jennifer 30-year-old left her husband-doctor because “there is nothing between us anymore” .
Both of them after some time married again: Miss Flora for the ex-husband with a bad temper, on which he worked, and Jennifer became the wife of an engineer. Both began a new life and rejoiced, although, according to family experts, any marriage — the first, second, or third — obeys the same law: the farther, the more difficult.
Long-term joint life does not promise an idyll in old age, marriage over the years is aging and sick, like any other organism.
In Japan, doctors described a new syndrome, the name of which can be translated as “husband is home again!”. They suffer women whose husbands, after retirement, begin to spend too much time at home, to hurt their eyes so that their wives get depressed and there are physical ailments: headache and burning in the eyes.
On the subject: Dating in the USA - American vs Ukrainian: a man’s sight
Who decides to start over?
What is more useful, to seek a compromise, to preserve the values of the old union, as advised by marriage counselors, or to drop everything and start over? They say that a new husband is a victory of hope over previous experience. Women who marry again and again are full of faith that everything will be different from what they used to be. 35-year-old Emily, entering into her third marriage, insisted that she wanted to be in white this time too.
How many husbands - so many lives you need to live with them. Not everyone has the strength to do it, so women are “weak”, as a rule, are faithful to the only and patient, and the strong are looking for, looking for and very rarely find.
Only once saw an example, when remarriage became happy: changed appearance, destiny, attitude to money and even walk. The teacher, Miss Patty, the mother of four grown-up children, left her husband, who always sold everything at a loss, met an elderly professor of English literature. In the four years that they are together, she began to look as if she had undergone a course of anti-aging hormone therapy. She grew her hair and wears it loose, which women almost never do after forty. Her new husband every day calls in on her car, and it is clear that between them not only tenderness, but also love.
Beauty and the Beast
Not so long ago, the news presenters were surprised to hear the results of the study, according to which middle-aged people (in America, the age of 50 – 60 is considered as such) have sex more often than commonly believed, and teenagers, on the contrary, are less likely than their parents think. Therefore, formal grandmothers probably marry almost as often as young women. But those and others are rarely satisfied with the result.
36% of American women surveyed said that if they had the opportunity to start life anew, they would not have chosen their current husbands as companions.
This means that deep down they are already ready to “look for” another, and if they don’t start, it’s just because they ask themselves: “Would it be better with this other?” I found the answer in one psychological journal, where they published experimental data, in which ninety married couples took part. It turns out that women who are more attractive than their husbands are happier and more relaxed in marriage. Marriage "beauty with the monster" - the most convenient and harmonious. But to be the wife of a handsome prince is so hard that, sooner or later, the woman does not stand up and leaves him.