Why obstetricians-gynecologists yell at women in labor and give birth themselves without husbands: a doctor's story
'16.06.2021'
Source: ADME
The obstetrician-gynecologist spoke about the nuances of the work, and also shared her thoughts on what is behind the strange addictions of pregnant women in food and why the term "old-born" has long outlived its usefulness, writes ADME.
Sofia Olegovna is an obstetrician-gynecologist and mother of 2 children. She maintains a blog where she shares practical cases, talks about her profession and life, and gives advice to expectant mothers. Further - from the first person.
I didn't step on the throat of my dream
“It's difficult here,” they warned me when I was writing an application for a placement in the gynecology department.
“Oh, don’t, Sophia! - the doctor with whom I was on duty sighed wearily. "It's such a hassle ..."
"What is it there?" - I thought.
And she continued to go on duty. The patients' questions did not irritate, I even liked them, and the work too. It turned out that everything is learned by comparison. Those who warned about difficulties simply did not work in neuroresuscitation, but I worked.
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The end of the 6th year was approaching, and it was necessary to urgently determine. Here is therapy, broad science. Or ophthalmology. And it is difficult to enter the Department of Gynecology. I decided to go to the head physician and ask for advice. He listened carefully to my story and smiled:
“You don’t have to step on the throat of your dream with a dirty foot,” and boldly signed my application for an internship.
What women are embarrassed to talk about to a gynecologist
Someone managed to convince the fair sex that if something bothers you, then it is not important, and perhaps even normal. “Don't be shy” - a sign with this line from Ivan Dorn's song should be hung at the entrance to the antenatal clinic, the department of gynecology and the maternity hospital, because the sensations that disrupt the quality of life are not normal. Urinary incontinence, pain during sexual intercourse - women are often embarrassed to tell not only the doctor, but also her husband about this. And they endure, they endure.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are psychologists at antenatal clinics, together with gynecologists they will help you. I am surprised how quickly time flies: today is Monday, tomorrow is Friday, today you are looking for gifts from Santa Claus, tomorrow you are playing this Santa Claus for your children. I want every second to be enjoyable. Discomfort? Look for the cause right away and fix it. For example, remembering what I have lived through, I do not want to regret that I missed something. I don’t want to think that where I could enjoy, I was discouraged. And you?
About food addictions of pregnant women, or How not to want herring with strawberries
"How is it that I go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and never ask for fried wallpaper for breakfast?" - so I thought until I got pregnant myself. And with the onset of pregnancy, I began to wait when I already want something unusual. I didn't want to. Only the love for sweets vanished as if by hand: all kinds of tomatoes replaced cakes and sweets.
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Then she suddenly began to notice what an unusually tasty toothpaste. Start eating mint for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And at 35 weeks, the result of a blood test with low hemoglobin came in, and iron supplements cured my cravings for mints. It never came to wallpaper. So now, when I hear at the reception: “I really want salted fish from McFlury from McDonald's, can I?”, In response, I prescribe blood tests. It is possible that the reason for the strange desire is low hemoglobin. And perhaps self-hypnosis.
Why is giving birth not scary?
As a child, I was very afraid to give birth. Everyone around talked about how painful and scary it was. And my childhood imagination drew a picture similar to a scene from those TV shows that my grandmother watched: here I am lying on the bed in a dark room with a huge belly, a woman is standing at my feet and shouting: “Tu-u-uh, u-u-uh! ", I scream in pain, and relatives and neighbors, as if from Rubens' painting" The Birth of the Dauphin ", crowd around and look out from behind each other.
And now I've seen thousands of pregnant women and thousands of births. And I can say with confidence: giving birth is not scary. The main thing is how to prepare for this. Here are some tips on how to organize yourself a gentle birth that you will want to repeat:
Psychological attitude. This is perhaps the most important thing before you find yourself in the walls of the hospital. If it hurts, it's okay. So, the process is underway. And no matter how unbearable this pain may seem, you will be able to endure it, as our mothers and grandmothers could.
Breathing techniques. Now there are a lot of preparation courses for childbirth. Such courses are available at maternity hospitals and antenatal clinics. Moreover, those that are usually free of charge upon consultation. You can also take a psychologist with you to childbirth. As a rule, there are such psychologists in maternity hospitals.
Enjoy. If you have a shower or bath in your delivery room, be sure to use it during labor - with the permission of your doctor, of course. Warm water has an excellent analgesic effect, tested on myself. You can also light scented candles, turn on the music, and turn off the lights.
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The day you went to give birth is a holiday, your child's birthday. Modern science does everything to make women "relax and have fun." And they did not frighten their own or neighboring children with stories about this very day.
Why obstetricians-gynecologists scream during childbirth
One might get the impression that midwives are evil, soulless and cold-blooded monsters who hate their job and all women in the world. But mother is not so scary as the first graders draw her. And with obstetricians, too, everything is different. The fact is that during childbirth, consciousness changes: everything fades into the background, and the instinct of self-preservation turns on. And at the most crucial moment, a woman stops hearing and listening to what they say to her. This is where the obstetrician gets scared. After all, he knows how even a second delay can end, because he saw bad cases. Because he doesn't want such an incident to happen.
And the woman says that she is tired, that she can no longer, that "do the Caesarean." She does not breathe as she is told, waves her legs and arms, says that she is in pain. Yes, giving birth is always painful, but this pain is physiological. Only a woman in childbirth in a calm tone can not explain anything. And then the obstetricians scream. Loud. Long. Because they understand that there is no other way to hear them now. Because they want the woman and her child to be fine.
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And then, when the cry of a newborn is heard, they sigh with relief. They rejoice, smile, congratulate. When it was especially difficult, they leave all the joy to the woman and sit down to write history. And then they also rejoice. Obstetricians love their patients very much. They do not remain without love in this profession. It's just that this is the kind of love that sometimes needs to be shouted about.
Why didn't I take my husband to childbirth? A look through the prism of the profession
From those who are just going to the hospital, I heard a lot of different arguments. Someone says: “I'll take my husband / mother / sister. This is support! It won't hurt so much ”or“ Of course, my husband will go! Let him see how I suffer. " Others said: "Well, no, I will definitely not be up to it" or "So that he fainted and the doctors switched to him? .."
And now I'm pregnant. Succumbing to the general excitement and joyful reviews of the experienced, I thought: “Maybe try joint? What if it's really good? " But when the contractions began, I realized that I least want to see someone nearby. I watched thousands of childbirth from the side, but I always remember the moment when I saw the birth for the first time, back at the university. And I don't even know if I would like my husband to experience the same feelings as I did then, or not. Here I am pregnant for the second time. And again I think: “Try? Let him support her by the hand ... ”On the day of birth, we agreed that as soon as everything starts, I will call. And then I went to the bath, the midwife turned off the light, turned on the music, and I decided that it was already good.
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Childbirth in a partner is not easy, so weigh the pros and cons before you bring your husband along. For everything to go as in the positive reviews, it is necessary that the husband himself wants to go with you. Make sure that he knows what he is doing, take a course of preparation for childbirth together - there he will be taught to be truly useful at such a crucial moment, they will tell the sequence of the process and prepare psychologically. Now I am writing and thinking: “But I shouldn't have taken my husband for childbirth. Okay, maybe next time? "
Is it worth it to give birth after 40 years?
“The first birth after 40 years” - more and more often I add a line in the diagnosis. It used to be after 25 mercilessly wrote "old-born", and now women enjoy life, build a career, earn money and only then, filled to the brim with all the benefits of life, give birth to children. As a doctor, I must say that there is no need to delay planning for children. If only because no one knows what will happen to your body next. And the energy of people in their 20s and 40s is different. According to the reviews of women who learned the joy of motherhood at 18 and 38, for example, the second pregnancy is more difficult.
Recently, a colleague asked, "What do you say to a woman who wants to get pregnant at 50?" “To take folic acid,” I laughed. Then other colleagues pulled up, and a furious discussion of the topic began: everyone brought up arguments, examples from the life and history of friends, spoke out for and against.
I worked in neuroreanimation. Often people came out on their feet, on whom the doctors had almost no hope. When everyone thought that the life of this person was lived, he suddenly opened his eyes, he was removed from the apparatus, he began to talk, gave in to rehabilitation and was discharged home. These people have always had a meaning in life. Who knows, maybe these were their children? So, mothers, remember: the most valuable thing that dad and mom give a child is life. Further, in general, everything is in his hands.
The best in my profession
When a woman comes to an appointment, the first question I ask is, "What's troubling?" And in 90% of cases I know: she will say that she is pregnant. Because there is something special about pregnant women. Luminous. And I am covered with such a wave of happiness that my eyes begin to water. If I could throw up confetti and release balloons and turn on music every time I make such a visit, I would do it.
And so we go to the ultrasound office, put the sensor, turn the screen towards it and point it to a small blinking dot: “See, pulsation? This heart is beating! " At this moment, women begin to smile, laugh, someone covers their face with their hands, someone cries with joy and says: "Doctor, you have no idea how I was waiting for this!" And they glow even more.
I tell them how to eat, drink, how to exercise. It feels like I'm equipping a woman for an interesting journey, giving her a magical map of the area, so old, applied in gold on a brown canvas and tied with a gold ribbon.
Women, dear, do not be afraid to ask for help, do not be afraid of the process itself. I wish you the softest and most wonderful childbirth.
Original column published https://www.izakayasushilounge.com ADME
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