The article has been automatically translated into English by Google Translate from Russian and has not been edited.

Moving to the US and Adaptation Problems: What to Expect and How to Cope

Marina Hitt

journalist, author of the project HOT HIT NEW YORK

'06.04.2018'

How to cope with anxiety when moving to another country? How to stop being afraid of a foreign language and status changes? We talked about this with Vilor the Spit - A psychiatrist who has developed a unique system in the treatment of such disorders as neurosis, depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Фото: Depositphotos

When a person from a familiar environment plunges into another culture, where they speak a foreign language, and communication is essential in all life situations (studies, looking for work, housing, communication with people), he is faced with stressful situations. Hence, there are various psychological disorders such as anxiety, constant uncertainty about the future, panic attacks. This makes it difficult to adapt and move forward.

Our expert: Vilor Shpitalnik - a psychiatrist, a doctor of the highest American category. He graduated from graduate school in Moscow, where he received the degree of candidate of medical sciences, and then continued his education at Columbia University in New York.

“Emotional instability exists on all continents,” says Vilor Shpitalnik. - My strictest advice to those who have not arrived yet, who have some kind of disorder: put yourself in order in your home country of residence, contact a specialist. This is the first thing.

Second, prepare yourself mentally for this trip. Do not assume that you are walking in a field full of flowers. Be mindful of different situations. I do not call them hopeless. Because if someone succeeds, then you can succeed. Emotional stability is a determining factor in further success in the country where you come. "

Very often, expectations are not met or, even if they were completely real, people are faced with a situation where it is much more difficult to achieve something than was supposed.

Some people draw in their imagination that they will immediately live in one of the skyscrapers of Manhattan or with a view of the Hollywood hills, but they do not start from this. Many gradually lose their meaning ... How not to dwell on this state?

“The person who is in trouble is not unique,” ​​the doctor explains. “Everyone who comes here, to a greater or lesser extent, goes through this, except for small children who do not understand anything yet. For them, everything is play and fun. As for adults, you need to be psychologically prepared. The task of a psychiatrist is to destroy negative thinking: everything is bad, I am the worst of all, my fate is more complicated, I am more stupid than the rest, I am not capable, nothing good will happen to me and my life is lost. These automatic thoughts are actually wrong. I often see people in front of me who can overcome any difficulties. "

ЫЗЫК

People who were born in the USA are very tolerant of a shortage in the language of visitors. First: do not be shy to talk. If you make mistakes, there's nothing scary about it. You will understand. Harder to understand you. There is no need to fear that you will not reach any level in English. This is a question of invested labor and time. Naturally, it is not easy: another grammar, the alphabet ... Nevertheless, everything is comprehensible.

“If you haven’t come here yet, but suppose, start learning the language in your country of residence: less stress, you feel stable,” Shpitalnik explains. - The more time you invest there, the easier it will be for you here. Of course, if a person arrives with some elementary knowledge, the environment plays a big role. Why go through difficulties when you can avoid them? The key to learning is systematism, constant work. For this to happen, you need a state without panic attacks, anxiety, depression, which simply destroys a person. "

Laziness is a choice. Sometimes people blame their state for lack of motivation. As a rule, they try to live in the so-called Russian communities, and the contacts with the rest negate.

It's one thing when you are already aged, there are children nearby who can take care. As for the young, some remain at the same level of development. And instead of learning something new and learning, they begin to “eat” themselves or blame others, shifting the responsibility to anyone.

“Here what we call laziness is a feeling of apathy, hopelessness and disbelief in future success,” says the doctor. - Otherwise - components of depression. Constant preoccupation with negative reflections about the current state, about your future with thoughts that life is meaningless. "

MONEY

Unstable emotional state, gaps in the language ... One of the important places in this “hit parade” of problems is money.

“Of course, material well-being is extremely important,” says the psychiatrist. - If the father cannot provide his loved ones with food, clothing and housing, then this affects the state of the whole family extremely negatively. But, as the experience of our and other emigres has shown, here, in America, people do not die of hunger. Some are better, others are worse, but, nevertheless, they live under a roof and get settled. The adaptation period - no one has left him yet. The main thing is to find the strength to believe in yourself, in your family and do everything in order to achieve your goals - one by one, gradually. No miracle will happen. Labor and motivation ”.

The most important thing is your attitude that you will have to make a huge amount of effort to achieve what you expect and want in this country. If you work here, you live. Another very important point.

For example, there are such professions in Russia or in the post-Soviet space, with which it will be very difficult here. And you may have to sit at the desk again.

“Therefore, do not consider retraining and mastering another profession a loss of status,” explains Vilor Shpitalnik. - Not at all. You have already done everything that needs to be done. Don't expect to be the same professor here as you were in the Soviet Union or Russia. I have seen cases among acquaintances when famous people, in particular in medicine or mathematics, came here in the hope that they would repeat their success here without any effort. As a result, they faced reality, fell into a severe depression, doing nothing at all. Some had to go back. Someone remained in the United States in the status of a pensioner. "

ON DIFFERENT CONTINENTS

There are, unfortunately, situations where one of the spouses stays here illegally and cannot go home, and the spouse cannot fly here. This is a very stressful situation. It is no secret that many families are destroyed, because they just get tired of waiting for each other.

“This is depressing for both sides, children suffer from it,” says psychiatrist Spitalnik. - And the system of obtaining documents is difficult, bureaucratic and sometimes takes a very long time. How to handle it? The most important thing is to help not to lose hope, since no doctor will solve the problem of legalization. It all depends on the degree of attachment. If you love your family and are able to expect and hope, then try to live your life with a positive attitude anyway, distracting yourself with what you like: hobbies, hobbies or walks in your favorite places. "

So, summarizing our conversation, we can identify several points that will help to adapt to those who decided to move to another country:

  • emotional stability;
  • the knowledge that you have to put in a lot of work to achieve your goals;
  • the expectation of having to adapt to new conditions: to language, culture, to new customs and relationships between people.

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