Where do we get fears and phobias and how to actually get rid of them
'10.11.2018'
Recently, I receive a lot of letters about various fears and phobias. I would like to explain what lies at their core.
At the heart of our fear is safety, a sense of self-preservation. But security is always based on intuition. If a person is tall, then his fear is high enough, if it is naturally low, he is not afraid of anything. The man is fearless, unfortunately, non-intuitive. But such people, fortunately, are very few.
Remember, in childhood we loved to tell different scary things and frighten each other: “In one black and black house there lives a black and black man.” What did we do at that time? In fact, we were engaged in auto-training. We learned to experience a sense of fear. We learned to talk about him. We learned to be aware of it. At the same time, we understood that if we only stop the game, our fear disappears immediately. That is, we were engaged in the training of adult life, so fear is a feeling inherent in us since childhood. Many adults still love to watch horror movies, while being in a safe place. This is a kind of training, a kind of vaccination against real fear.
Or one more example, when a small child cries, calls his mother: “Mom, I'm scared!”. Mom runs to meet him at any time of the day, headlong, knocking down the corners. She came running, he calmed down, he felt good. This is definitely a manipulation. But why does the child manipulate? He does it intuitively for safety, he feels completely safe when his mother is next to him. Therefore, for such actions can not punish children, scold. Kids thus try to ensure their personal safety. What does a child protect against? Why is he calling mom? He defends himself from an incomprehensible, not yet known world; he cannot differentiate between a real threat and an imaginary, a threat of his fantasy from a real one.
As we grow up, we begin to control our fears. We manage them. At least, we analyze what is really dangerous and what is not. There are situations when we find ourselves in a certain space, and we are covered with panic, the fear of death, the horror, when breathing is hard, when an inexplicable fear fetters our consciousness. Even the term was invented by the military - “panic attack”, that is, it is aggression.
We perceive this state as a kind of aggression. Mrs. Panic is merciless.
A person is trying to understand what he is afraid of, trying to clothe the incomprehensible in some known forms, trying to give some explanation in order to find a control mechanism, self-defense. Some provoke this condition to understand it to the end. Some believe that training will help overcome a state of fear. In some tribes, initiation rituals are still held, when boys jump into a cliff or over a fire.
The nature of fear and panic attacks is directly related to our person, our bar code, our personal day, month, and year of birth. This is not mysticism, not fantasy, it is an absolute, from my point of view, objective reality. Suppose a lot of people turn to me with a request to help overcome the fear of air travel. Why are we afraid of flying in airplanes? We are afraid of water, because without air we can live no more than three minutes. We fear fire because we can burn in it. We are afraid of heights, because we do not fly, we do not have wings. In addition, the aircraft - it is a fast moving tube, entwined with wires, inside which a large electrical voltage.
What is height? 10 is thousands of meters above ground. What kind of radiation is there? If on the ground we normally feel comfortable up to 20 microroentgen per hour, then on the plane we are already at an altitude of 2000 meters the radiation increases 3 times. At an altitude of 10000 meters, the radiation is as if we are standing next to the sarcophagus of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. Moreover, each of us has our own tolerance towards radiation. People born in June, July, August perfectly tolerate high radiation, but people born in December, January, February, and also in March and May tolerate it much worse. Therefore, I strongly do not recommend them to fly at noon, under the scorching rays of the sun.
Many people come to me at the reception with similar phobias and the question of how to deal with it.
I give recommendations on how to get away from a panic attack, but there is no point in fighting with my own intuition, with the protest of the organism, because it is a reasonable objective fear of the organism.
Perhaps, in the future, they will create an aircraft with acceptable humidity, low radiation levels, and the optimal amount of oxygen on board. But for now, we still have to drink a lot of water to make up for the colossal losses of the body. So the fear of heights and flying is an objective fear.
There are biased fears, the nature of which is incomprehensible to most people. Suppose a person who is afraid of bees, is afraid of bees in panic, has a very high probability, in case of a bee sting to earn Quincke’s edema. And a person who is afraid of spiders, as a rule, has reduced resistance to particles of chitinous cut of the spider. For a long time, a rat was considered to be a peddler of the bubonic plague, and a protective reflex intuitively triggers in humans when they see this animal. Panic begins. The body is panicking to eliminate the threat.
There are fears associated with the impact of nature on us. Suppose there are people who are afraid to sleep in wooden houses or be in the woods. This may be due to a hidden allergic reaction to the plant world.
Fear of confined space may signal that the arteries supplying the brain are narrowed and a person suffers from oxygen starvation.
Once, a master of sports in mountaineering came to me at the reception, who went to Everest, but at the same time lived on the 12 floor and was afraid to ride in the elevator.
He is under two meters in height, strong, hardy. I sat and looked at him and thought about how to remove this state. I knew his date of birth and understood the reason. He had a sprained ankle ligament, as a result, muscle rigidity on the right - increased, on the left - decreased. As a result, the artery is pinched, feeding the brain, and it suffers from oxygen starvation. But when he climbs to the top of the mountain, a visual picture of incredible beauty, the state of victory neutralizes oxygen starvation. He is experiencing mad euphoria. And here in the elevator he does not have enough oxygen, but there is no euphoria. Imbalance in perception. I told him: "You will enter the elevator, close your eyes, imagine that you are on the top, try it!" And about two hours later he calls me and says: “I'm skating. I ride the elevator! " Because I explained to him the reason for the fear - it is a lack of oxygen in a confined space.
There was another unusual case in my practice. A very famous and talented actor came to see me. Every time before going on stage, he took sedatives. “It can't go on like this,” he told me. "This is my favorite job, but every time it is very stressful." The answer was also included in the date of birth. Here the fear was associated with the fact that a person's personal characteristics defined him as a teacher, not an actor. I simply recommended to him: “Imagine that you are in an academic audience. You are a professor. And in the hall are students who study on a paid basis. They came to learn from you. You are giving a lecture. You don't entertain them. You are a professor. And these are the disciples. " His next question was literally a couple of weeks later. "Why did they stop applauding me?" “No one will interrupt the professor! They stopped applauding during the performance. Was there a round of applause at the end? " "Yes, there were at the end!"
These are, at first glance, incredible stories.
Do not be afraid of your fears, friends! I want you to remember: fear is the work of intuition. No fear - no intuition, and if we move through life without fear and reproach, this is not the most successful path.
