The teacher from Israel Liat Malka dreamed about her children all her life, but never met the one with whom she would like to start a family. Then she decided to help a stranger and a long-dead man to fulfill his death wish - to become a father. The story of an unusual family told "Lenta.ru report».
In 2013, the lonely teacher of a kindergarten in southern Israel named Liat Malka turned 35. That year, she finally realized that she really wants to have her child.
“I was worried that time had already passed, and I may have missed the opportunity to become a mother,” recalls an Israeli woman. “So I went to the doctor to do the necessary examinations.”
After receiving the results, the woman realized that her fears were not groundless - the level of productivity of her ovaries was extremely low. The doctor hinted to Malka that if she continued to wait for the suitable man, she would risk never becoming a mother.
“Therefore, I decided to do everything possible to have a baby as soon as possible,” the woman explained.
Father from the grave
After returning home, Malka began to search the Internet for all possible modern ways to become a mother without the direct participation of a man. The easiest way - to use a sperm bank - did not suit her: she really wanted the child to know his father. It was unethical for her to meet anyhow with whom to get pregnant.
While searching, she accidentally caught a video on YouTube, which was shown on the news in 2009. The story tells the tragic story of Vlad and Julia Poznyansky, whose son died in 2008, and before his death managed to pass a sperm sample in the hope that someday he could become a father. Then inconsolable parents tried to get legal permission to use this biomaterial so that some woman would give birth to their grandson or granddaughter. At the end of the video it was said that they even managed to find someone who wanted it.
Malka seriously wondered: maybe this is the ideal option? “In this case, the child will know who his father was, and the history of his family, he will have a grandmother and grandfather,” the woman reasoned.
Soon the Israeli woman contacted the lawyer Poznyanskih, to find out what ended their story. To her surprise, almost four years after the video was recorded, Vlad and Yulia never became a grandmother and grandfather - they could not agree with the only person who wanted to become the mother of their grandson or granddaughter. Realizing that they can help each other, Malka and the Poznyansky couple agreed to meet.
Julia took with her photos of her beloved son - Baruch. Despite the fact that many years had passed since his death, she could hardly speak of him without tears.
Baruch was just 23. He studied at one of the prestigious universities in Haifa. Listening to a lecture on ecology, Baruch noticed in his mouth a small bleeding wound, which still could not heal. Later, doctors diagnosed him with cancer. He had to undergo several courses of chemotherapy, lose his tongue and lose his ability to speak. But all this was in vain - he could not beat the disease.
Back in the beginning of the treatment, Baruch decided to save his sperm - he always wanted to have children and knew that chemotherapy is an extremely detrimental effect on male reproductive function. But as his condition deteriorated, he began to realize that he would not have time to become a father in life. And then he came up with a plan: “In the event of his death, he asked us to find a woman who agrees to give birth to his child,” recalls Yulia Poznyanskaya.
Baruch fought the disease for two years and died on November 7 2008, at the age of 25. Almost immediately, his mother set to work in the hope of fulfilling her son’s wish.
Before his death, Baruch and his lawyer Irit Rosenblum issued a number of documents regarding his biological material, and as a result he became the only person in the world who bequeathed his sperm for mandatory use in the event of full agreement of the parties and court permission. Therefore, the task of Yulia was not only to find a suitable woman, but also to convince the judge to allow them to use her son's biomaterial.
Soon they found an Israeli woman of Russian origin, ready to become a mother, received permission from the court, but at the last moment the girl changed her mind and refused to participate in this venture.
“Another young girl came to us, very sweet,” recalls Julia. “She started the IVF process, but after seven attempts she was not able to get pregnant, and this led to the depletion of Baruch's sperm supply. I was ready to commit suicide. But I decided to bring back some happiness and some love in my life. I wanted my son to continue to live, somewhere in the depths of my soul I wanted to bring him back physically. Maybe a boy will be born that will look like Baruch ... ”.
To find comfort, Julia decided to have another child, despite her age - 55 years. She and her husband underwent an IVF procedure using a donor egg and became parents again.
“It was a breath of fresh air,” recalls Julia. “We really wanted children.”
In Israel, IVF is supported in instances of all levels, regardless of religious beliefs and sexual orientation, who want to become parents. “There is a tradition, a family, two thousand years of persecution, after which we needed to rise from the ashes in order to create life,” notes Julia. Like many Israelis, the Poznansky consider IVF as a way to increase the Jewish population after the Holocaust and thousands of years of suffering.
Meet the Parents
Despite the fact that Julia again became a mother, she did not lose hope to fulfill the will of Baruch. She well remembers the day she first met Malka at the beginning of 2013.
“It was a beautiful young girl. Black hair, red coat ... I loved her from the very beginning, - describes Julia Malka. “I knew she was a good person.”
Julia showed her photos of her dead son, and Malka at that very moment felt a connection with a young man who had long been lost.
“Just looking at the photos, I already knew who this man was - very kind eyes, a smile as broad as you can imagine ... very beautiful ... surrounded by his friends,” Malka recalls her first impression. - It seemed that he really loved his parents very much, and they - his. In each photo together they held hands and embraced. I saw love and happiness in his eyes - I had no doubt that he was a wonderful person. ”
Showing photos, Julia told Malka about Baruch: how her son loved life, how many friends he had, how tasty he cooked, how clever and sociable he was ... Listening to these stories, the girl understood more and more: she really wants Baruch to be completely An unfamiliar person who died five years ago became the father of her child.
Malka, Vlad and Julia signed a contract according to which she acquired the ownership of Baruch's sperm, which automatically ruled out the possibility that any other woman would give birth to him. There was no financial implication in this agreement - it was very important for the Poznyanskiys. The disinterested basis of the agreement secured them from the scammers. The contract also stated that Vlad and Yulia will regularly visit the child. At least once every three weeks.
“We needed to protect our right to see the child,” explains Julia. - We went for it not only to fulfill the will of Baruch. We wanted us to have a beloved grandson. ”
When it seemed that there were no unspecified moments left, the trinity was to have a conversation with a social worker. He began to predict what conflicts may arise between Poznyansky and Malka: from the dispute about the name of the child to the methods of education. It seemed to Julia that the whole system of courts and social services assumed the role of God, deciding whether this child could be born or not.
Persistent Israelis managed to go through all instances. Malka underwent the first IVF procedure. She was disappointed - the doctors managed to get only one egg. “It was a shock - I was expecting more,” the woman recalls in frustration.
The Israeli woman continued to believe in the best, but despite the fact that she was taking an increased dose of ovarian-stimulating drugs, the story repeated. However, she was lucky - one egg was enough, and soon Malke phoned her doctor and gave good news - they had a viable embryo! The woman was beside herself with happiness, and a week later, tests confirmed pregnancy.
Malka shared her joy with her sister and only then with Julia. She admits that only at that moment she realized the seriousness of the step she had taken.
“I was shocked - I did not think that this would actually happen,” Malka admits. “And when everything happened, I just could not believe it ... I didn’t really know Vlad and Yulia - I saw them only two, or maybe three times.”
She was worried about how her family would perceive the Baruch family. Her parents moved to Israel from Morocco, Vlad and Julia from Russia. The girl could not imagine how such culturally different people can find a common language. Moreover, she still has not told her mother that she decided to give birth to a child from a long-lost stranger.
“I just didn’t want to hear the opinions of everyone around me, especially my mom, so I kept it a secret,” Malka explains. - When I still called her to inform about the pregnancy, she was happy - finally I will have a child! ”.
Over time, the excitement of the expectant mother intensified. She knew that she had to build relationships with Vlad and Yulia, but did not know how to do this. Julia was also worried: she wanted to be closer to Malka, but at the same time not to impose herself and to keep her distance.
“I told everything to my relative, a very wise woman, and she said:“ Let her give birth to her child, and after that everything will be fine, ”Yulia admitted.
When the birth began, Malka did not want to call Poznyansky. She told her mother not to worry and not to go to the hospital, as the doctor said that she was unlikely to give birth early in the morning.
“But at night she had a premonition, she took a taxi and barely got to the hospital,” recalls Malka. - I was very happy that she arrived. She was shocked and could not utter a word. Two of my sisters also arrived, and the third, who lives in the US, contacted us via Skype. It was an amazing experience. ”
The girl was born on December 1 2015, more than seven years after the death of her father. Liat called her Shira, which in Hebrew means “prayer” or “song.”
“She was just like I dreamed,” says Liat. “She was so beautiful that I could not believe it.”
She called Vlad and Yulia and reported good news.
“I felt my heart beating again for the first time after that terrible loss,” Julia recalls her feelings.
At Malka's house there are photographs of Baruch. Mother and daughter often look at them together, recalling this smiling man who played a huge role in their fate. The teacher notes that Shira inherited beautiful blue eyes from Baruch. She recently began to explain to Shire that her father is in the photographs: “Look how cute he smiles. This is your daddy, ”she said carefully, showing her daughter the photo. Of course, the single mother worries that Shira's father is dead. “Once she asked me:“ Maybe soon he will knock on our door? ”. And I answered: “No, he will not come,” - said Malka.
“There are all kinds of families in the world,” Liat muses. “We have this.” Shira knows that she has no father, but she is loved and very happy. ”
Parents of Baruch have no doubt that they did everything right, and the son would have approved their choice. “She is beautiful, smart and happy, she has everything that we would like to see in our grandson’s mother,” says Yulia happily. “She is perfect.”
For the past two decades, similar stories have occasionally occurred around the world. But now their number is growing rapidly. Men make the so-called biological testament - they donate sperm in the hope that someone will continue their race. Experts predict that the number of such procedures is likely to grow with the development of new reproductive technologies, and such “alternative families” that go beyond the concept of a traditional heterosexual family with two parents, will eventually cease to amaze the public.
In the meantime, such families face bureaucracy, delays and misunderstanding. However, Julia Poznyanskaya claims that all the difficulties were worth it. She noted that their story received wide media coverage and demonstrated that such cases should be viewed not as science fiction, but as a very real procedure.
“I would say to those who are against it:“ Let's give up penicillin, because once it was also perceived as interference in the affairs of God, ”Yulia notes ironically. "If we do not take a step forward, if we say:" No, this is not possible, "we will never let miracles into our lives."