On female beauty, war paint and the conquest of the world: a masculine look
'10.12.2019'
A draft of the script. Joke.
... And I thought, well, really, where do women get so much patience from? And I'm not talking about husbands who often do not live up to their expectations, or about children who ... almost never. I'm not talking about work, relationships with relatives, brothers, sisters, unpleasant courtship, and much more, of which their difficult female life consists of. I’m all about simple, from our male point of view. I’m talking about make-up, make-up, guidance of beauty, with which they were supposedly born. Although, if so, then what is there to improve after the divine touch?
I will not talk about the history of why women are painted, this can be read without me. I will try to dig a little to another depth.
A woman sits down in the morning at the mirror and ... what? What - what, looks into him. And what does she see in him? The answer to this question depends on a host of factors - which we, the male group of the choir, cannot understand by any place, including the brains. If she had a stormy endless romance with bodily outpourings all night long, she sees one thing in the mirror. If in the evening there was a terrible scandal with my husband, no matter what, it is completely different. If vacation is on the nose - the third. If she has a date with a potential applicant in the evening - the fourth. If they have a new head of department, a handsome, athletic, dark-haired, takes office today, then the fifth. And if she goes to surgery on Monday, even a trifling one - even the sixth. And so - ad infinitum.
And depending on this, she first considers, and rather scrupulously, the front of the work that she has to do ... Then she speaks words to herself, regrets, cries, perhaps even makes love (to herself or someone), scolds for, promises never again not, and generally "loosens the soil." This is very useful in the process of agricultural work, for the subsequent injection of fertilizers and planting various useful crops around the perimeter ... from cherries and nuts to immortelle flower and thickets of barbed wire. Then begins the choice of ammunition for today / meeting / attack / defense / opening a second front / closing all fronts / leaving the battlefield / sending to the rear for refueling, or, for example, the beginning of a long siege of a fortress that has already surrendered to some, but not to her, or, on the contrary, has not given up to anyone yet (like Masada, for example).
On the subject: Male look: why do we make lovers and does marriage need a second chance
So, armor is chosen, light, heavy, crushing, wounding, stitching, pricking, smashing on the spot, slowly acting poison, penetrating the blood or paralyzing in place. This is me so far about clothes and accessories. Everything, as has already been said, depends on the role chosen today: Juliet girls, Medusa Gorgon, Aphrodite, Desdemona, the shadow of the mother of the sister-in-law of father-in-law Hamlet, the wife of the famous director, the Mistress of copper mountain, Cinderella, Snow White before or after the seven dwarfs, Sleeping the beauty who woke up or is still sleeping, but sees everything. This is the main offensive-defensive task, and everything depends on its solution. And the mood, and the ammunition, and, of course, the coloring, which happens from fighting to deadly and ... back.
The role is chosen, the armor is spread out on the bed (scattered around the house) as a result of an exhausting struggle, since the closet is full, and there is nothing to wear (because the husband is a stingy brute, or the figure went in the wrong place, or the clothes are all insanely outdated and there is nothing newer than stupid rags acquired in the 14th century BC, or all of this has already been seen, or it will look stupid in the background, or he / she / they may misinterpret this outfit and think that I ... and I just DO NOT ... and a million more scenarios, for each of which a good director could put a 16-episode film). But there comes a crucial moment of applying makeup, which is important to properly trample into the soil the first time, since there is no time, as always, and you don't want to wash / wash everything. I don't want to because I have to change my mind about the whole scenario and all the armor, perhaps ... and put on a new make-up, with a new plan, and a synopsis. Especially if it suddenly seems that it was not possible to completely transform into Agent 007 in this outfit and this coloring, and everyone will probably immediately notice you and ... get a taste of you. And having seen through, they sprinkle everyone with the juice of blue blood that escaped from the inside, recklessly splashing on the walls and ceiling, instantly destroying (splashing, that is) at the same time the outfits of all rivals, including it is not clear how and why the survivors ...
Slow or fast, but confident movements of various types of affecting the hearts of spectators (among them - 59 types of brushes for various places, angles, penetration, grinding, throwing and sweeping, the dream and envy of everyone: from Shishkin to Da Vinci, who had to smear the canvases with all sorts of crap for lack of ...), gradually turning the morning landscape "just out of bed" into a revived sculpture of the Amazon that went out on the warpath with a crossbow (a bow is not so effective) and a quiver of unused arrows, each of which - deadly ...
On the subject: Why nobody marries you: man’s gaze
Confident of herself and burning with impatience, eager to see the reaction to her morning preparations for the battle, she easily flies away to where they are waiting for her, although she’s probably not ready for “such” (but how can one be prepared for this?). It’s easy and fun at heart, the walk is easy and swift, the wings are spread, the arrows are sharpened, readiness is number one.
- By screws!
- Attention!!
- Speaks and shows the world launching pad of a woman who today plans to conquer the whole world (even if it is the world of one person).
- We start counting before the imminent start ...
- All motors are on and running correctly.
- "Space maps are loaded into the tablets and the navigator specifies" ...
- All systems ...
- All the hours spent ...
- All the tears weeping or not crying ...
- All abandoned, parted because of or not met because ...
- Let them just try not to notice and not fall somewhere, even if they faint ...
- I - I will not survive ...
- I will survive…
- I will survive everyone ...
- I can not…
- "I can, I can do everything in the world ... If you ... with me, country !!" ...
- You can't put off any longer ...
- Now I will burst with impatience ...
- Almost everything ...
- Almost all…
- All…
- It's time ...
- Let's take off ...
- And there ... come what may!
- After all, something will definitely happen? !!
- And I'm not going to regret it later ...
- Contact.
- Breakaway.
- Countdown.
- Departure.
- Five ... Four ... Three ... Two ... One ... Pli !!!!!
- Plus ...
- And ... I spit too ...
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