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Nostalgia in the new country. What is the danger

Elizaveta Lubleva

Doctor of Psychology


Emigration, regardless of the reason for the move, is a complex and multifaceted process. And nostalgia in this process takes a leading role. We begin to miss the past in the face of any inevitable difficulties in the present.

Фото: Depositphotos

The familiar phrase "do not confuse tourism with emigration" is absolutely true. New conditions, relationships, difficulties with renting an apartment, car, and when applying for a job. These stages are passing, but you can get stuck on them. If at yourself or at your close people you observe a prejudiced attitude towards reality: everything is perceived through the prism of the past; unconscious fear and rejection of the new, which makes it difficult to adapt to new conditions and impairs learning opportunities; inability to enjoy life as it is. These are the signs of an experienced feeling of nostalgia, hence apathy to everything around.

A person who lives in past memories psychologically “turns away” from his future, and the present brings him much less happiness than he could.

Our worldview and sense of self here and now is the basis for all other personality traits like memory, motivation, exhibited abilities. So the appearance in the consciousness of this or that "skew" - excessive nostalgia for the past, professional strain and so on - can lead to negative consequences of adaptation to a new world and reality.

Why there is nostalgia for the past?

Moving to a foreign country, we become noticeably limited in communication and receiving new information from the surrounding space. The number of new events is noticeably reduced, emotional emptiness appears - and the person recalls the wonderful or sad moments that he wanted to experience or experienced.

Фото: Depositphotos

In addition, our body works like a pendulum, there is an energy take-off, followed by a mandatory fall, there is day and night, black is replaced by white, inhale and exhale. And this “exhalation”, when the body is just gaining strength for a new breakthrough, an emigrant can designate his state as nostalgia and depression. Although in reality you were not on the ruins of your present life, but at the foundation of a new one. It may be appropriate to help a psychologist to focus on the future, see the benefits of the move and build clear plans for the near future.

How can nostalgia be dangerous?

London-based psychiatrist Raphael Euba agrees that memories of the past seem better than they actually were. Remembering the past, you forget about the reasons for breaking up with the person you are missing, nostalgia for childhood, when it seems that childhood is mostly fun, but do not forget that good times were not without problems.
Very often, it is bad memories from the past that are erased, this is how the defense mechanisms of the psyche work.

"Nostalgia is light strokes that do not paint the whole picture of the past."

In a period of weakness, of doubt, the internal crisis of a person, there is a longing for a cozy world in which he was not alone and left to himself. He seeks to regain his former harmony and sense of inner integrity. As a biblical prodigal son, a man embraced by this feeling, seeks to return home. But, returning, he does not find in the place of that house or those people whom he left, or finds them greatly changed. Such a state was reflected in Korzhavin's poem “... Every day I get up in a foreign country ... Like a bright face they draw into their gates, a foreign language, someone else's kindness. I am in a hurry to them, but I am full of all the past, I don’t reach and remain with nothing. ” Is there a way for a person who is painfully suffering from nostalgia? Not! It is like unrequited love: nothing can be done, you just need to go through.

Frequent sighing about how it was before can lead you to closure from everything new and to problems in the present, one of which is a rejection of reality and a false opinion about today.

Living with memories is a painful state where the sick person seeks, at the level of emerging feelings and emotions, to return himself to a time in which, according to his current standards, he was comfortable. The constant comparison of time intervals leads to isolation in the present and a growing sense of dissatisfaction with modern realities.

Фото: Depositphotos

A person succumbs to nostalgia when it seems that he is not able to control the real events happening to him. Without confidence in the future, nostalgia will increase.

Reliving these feelings helps to unite people into groups with similar past, support groups, attending common events. What is important is the professional work of a psychologist with your condition in any crisis moments of life.

Live the present and be happy!

Your consultant in the world of psychology, Dr. Liza, Family cafe

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