The incredible story of the last Russian boy, who did not have time to adopt the Americans
'05.03.2018'
Source: TV channel "Rain"
Mom abandoned Timofey in the hospital only because he is not like everyone else ... At the age of 4, the American foster family was found for the child with Down syndrome. But "Dima Yakovlev's law" made Timothy an orphan for the second time.
What happened to the last Russian child whom the American family did not have time to adopt? Where will the long search lead us? Incredible story of a special boy. On the film Pavel Selina "Love Syndrome" tells TV channel "Rain".
This story began for me in the summer of 2013. In the baby house for sick children in St. Petersburg, I saw this little boy. Timofey was then 3 godika, and I came to shoot a story about him. The State Duma had just adopted the so-called “law of Dima Yakovlev,” and Timofey was the last Russian child whom the Americans did not have time to adopt.
Timothy was supposed to adopt the family of American priest Andrew Nigel. The Americans arrived in St. Petersburg and had already completed all the necessary documents. They spent a lot of time with Timofey and gave him their family album.
Timofey did not part with this album: he showed everyone his future dad, mom, brothers and sisters. And then the “law of Dima Yakovlev” appeared - and it was all over. The Nigels were denied adoption ... Timofey remained in Russia, and the director of the orphanage neatly took the album away and hid it. The press wrote about Timofey, and journalists called him: "a boy with an album."
All these years I remembered Timofey. What happened to him? The fact is that then, in the summer of 2013, he was already too big for the baby house, and from day to day he should have been sent to a boarding school for sick children. I decided to track down this “boy with an album”. But I could not even imagine where these searches would lead us.
SYNDROME LOVE
The search for Timothy brought me here. This is not at all the center of Moscow: 3-I Park. But, it is here, in this modest building, there are two of the most famous foundations in Russia that help people with Down syndrome. This is the charity foundation “Love Syndrome” and the downside-up family support center.
The name “Downside Up” is a pun. In English, there is the expression "upside down", which means "upside down" or "mess." Turning over this expression, the creators of the center seem to put the situation “from head to toe”, that is, they bring order and radically change the attitude towards Down syndrome.
Down Syndrome: only recently these words were a sentence. No prospects for such children and undisguised condemnation of parents.
"Down syndrome was the subject of shame, real shame, and then you talked about it ... you are so-and-so, and your child is so-and-so, I will not repeat, and you are not to blame for anything, you love him ... ”, says Irina Menshenina, director for development of the charity foundation“ Downside Up ”
Down syndrome is not a disease. This is just an extra chromosome: a game of nature, genetic roulette. One case on 800 newborns. A child with Down Syndrome can appear in any family, and there is no difference - it’s rich people or poor people who drink or sober ... It took two decades in our country to explain these simple things to society and at least somehow turn the tide. Today, thousands of special guys live a full life. Schoolchildren, students, athletes, actors, artists, musicians ... And yes: all these people are with Down Syndrome.
“I call this just some kind of, you know, the magical ministry of Down Syndrome. The family comes, and for her, I will say “grief”, but this is not “grief-grief”, these are difficult times, this is a crisis situation, and, of course, the first time, months, half a year, a year, all individually, work with parents to adopt a child as he was born, ”explains Irina Menshenina.
The most difficult thing is to love your special child again. Without this feeling, everything is useless, no specialists will help.
“Parents are not afraid sometimes to admit that“ I could not approach this child, he destroyed all my ideas about my ideal life ”. Our specialists are working on this, they put their souls into bringing this love back to such a person who was born in this family - this is the most important thing, ”says Irina.
Well, and then - a long hard work. Teach to speak, hold a spoon and fork, draw and read, play sports, dance .... in general - make a special person out of a special child who realizes all the abilities released to him. But perhaps the most important mission is for parents not to abandon children with Down syndrome.
Most of all I was worried that after the baby house, Timofey could be in a boarding school for sick children. The fact is that 12 years ago I had the opportunity to do a journalistic investigation about such boarding schools.
Then, in the middle of 2000's, these places were a terrible sight. And if in large cities everything was more or less decent, then in the outback - we were shooting in the Vladimir region - boarding schools for sick children could not be called “concentration camps”. Children tied to cage beds ... constantly wet diapers ... heavy odor in huge, stuffy dark wards. Of course, they didn’t hear about any activities, developmental games and other “nonsense”: God forbid you have time to shove a few spoons of porridge into your child and take him to the street once a week ... or not to bring it out.
Now the situation has changed, of course, there are no such horrors, and the number of boarding schools is declining - children are increasingly adopted. But will Timofey be adopted - a child with Down syndrome?
“I have seen such children refuseniks. It's hard enough to watch. That is, it is very important that the children be in the family. Still, you brought me to the emotions. I myself went to them, thank you, I am grateful to you for this. Because yes, it’s very, very difficult to describe when you see it all. When children in the same class they study, in the other class they have cots - they sleep there. They hug you because they have no one else to hug, ”says Alexander Astapov, a psychologist by training. Then, in the middle of 2000-x, he was an intern at the Chelyabinsk boarding school for sick children. “And I looked at it all, I had a dream like this - I told myself that I want to help such children. I directly asked, I had right tears in my eyes, I do not know, these were emotions beyond. And I asked for the opportunity to give me the opportunity to help such children, so that I could somehow do this in life. I even wrote it down on paper. ”
“The search for Timofey dragged on for half a year. Now the rainy autumn has already been replaced by a snowy winter and, to be honest, I thought that we would not find this famous "boy with an album". We were looking for him through the guardianship authorities, through social networks, through friends and acquaintances ... They categorically refused to give us any contacts in the baby's house. We even wrote to his failed foster family in the United States - and it’s all for nothing! And now, when there was no more hope, a miracle happened. The Ministry of Education met us halfway - for which they are very grateful! And here it is: the coveted address. And the cherished moment is at hand. "
Timofey took their own biological parents. Now he has Alyona’s mother, Yura’s father, Oleg’s younger brother, and Tanya’s beloved grandmother.
What happened 8 years ago, when Timofey was only born, still haunts his parents. They are still very difficult to talk about it.
“One of the doctors said, they say, why do you need him? Give up. He's a problem, keep yourself still healthy. I didn’t understand anything at that time, though I didn’t understand anything at all what and how, how to act at all, ”says Timothy’s mother Alain Solomko.
“You know, the decision was more mine. But, honestly, at that moment I was very confused and the decision came from ignorance, fear and cowardice. At that moment we were still a bit immature, ”recalls Yuri Solomko, Timothy’s father. “Three days later he was taken away, taken away, and it turned out that we didn’t see 4,5 of the year,” explains Alain. “We received a call from the baby house - visit, do not have to pick it up, visit. But I could not, I thought - I will see and take home immediately. ”
And then they began to write about Timofey, a report appeared on "Rain". Timofey became famous as a “boy with an album” - the last one the Americans did not have time to adopt. “There was a note or a report from the baby's house and it was my grandmother who saw it. She called us in a panic: do you know that they want to take Timofey somewhere ?! We called the director of the baby house. We met with her, talked with her, she tried to dissuade us from taking the child: in the States he will be better, special programs, social security, ”says Yuri.
The first to get to Timothy's baby house was Grandma, Tatyana.
“And when I came home I said that I saw Timofey and that he was a copy of Alena and that we need to pick up this child, that he is ours, Yura was very upset - as he says: mother, can I love him, I can even love him did not hold. I say whether you can or cannot, when you see him, you will understand that if you love your wife, you will love your child. And they started going there, ”she says.
The first meeting with Timothy in the orphanage is already a small family legend.
“But I would have known him out of a thousand, to be honest. So I walked for a long time, the tears were ... And it turned out that we were with Olezhka, ”recalls Allen.
“Oleg climbed on some kind of hill, I was watching him and I felt some boy came up, stood next to me and was also watching Oleg, and it was Timofey,” says Yuri.
“And Timofey comes up to Jura and takes him by the hand, can you imagine? My tears are simply hail, ”says Alain.
Timofey is a guy with character. Constantly defending his personal territory: after all, the years spent in the orphanage are felt.
“The person who sees him for the first time will understand absolutely nothing. I already understand by intonation what he wants to say. Sometimes he is indignant, sometimes he is happy, sometimes he demands something ... .. it’s easy for me to be with him now ... now he scolded me now, but why did he scream something? Well, sometimes it happens, ”says Timofeev’s mother.
They have a very long and very difficult road ahead. The road they have to go along ...
“Why would I do this ?! Why me?!! Why did it happen to me, why, God, what have I done in my life ?! And then time passes, years, and I think it's the other way around - God gave me for something, for my good deeds, that he sent such a sunny child. True! ”, - shares Alena.
Timothy himself has not yet spoken. While only trying to repeat the words of the grandmother. But these words are probably the most important now in his life ....
