Unexpected defect in American lover
'10.02.2019'
Source: Columnist
I live in America, I am 41 and I am married, there are schoolchildren. About six months ago I broke up with my lover and recently met a man younger than myself. He is 32.
Honestly, I had no men younger than myself, writes blogger Marcelo Moreno for Browser. Always older. I somehow could never find a common language with them. And this said that I'm too old for him. He did not lag behind, correspondence ensued, and we met. Liked each other. He is also married and has a child. I had a long relationship with him with one couple of years, also married, but 15 is older than me. There were other men between long-term relationships, but it didn’t work out any further.
We have not yet had sex, we agreed that we will meet after the winter holidays, and then he asked me about the hotel, how and what. He said that, they say, the first time is his responsibility. I did not understand and asked what he meant. He joked (this is all via SMS), it dawned on me that he expects that we will divide the hotel in half? In all love relationships, men have never stuttered on this topic at all. Never.
I wanted to ask - if he stutters about paying for the hotel in half, or sometimes he, sometimes I, how can I answer correctly so as not to humiliate myself and him. This is unacceptable to me.
I am a little old-fashioned and not at all a feminist. I do not need friendship, but I want a man and a love relationship.
The fact is that we can not meet like ordinary couples. He invited me to a cafe, but I don’t even want to go to coffee because we cannot kiss people in cafes, and there is no time for restaurants and kisses either, we have work, families and so on. I offer a walk in the park to see, and hug-kissing. But as a woman, I want to take care of me. But so far. And if he also expects a hotel partly from me, then I am a little sad.
***
Dear friend! I am not a fan of giving advice and even more direct instructions on what to do. But I will simply describe how I see it from my point of view.
To begin with, it seems to me that the age of the chosen one has nothing to do with it. After all, you are going to go to bed not with a 18-year-old boy, who simply has no money. You are dealing with a full-fledged, working and adult man, even nine years younger. And if in the first case the financial initiative of a woman is completely understandable, in the second case it is already more controversial. And we understand why.
The second point that you might have thought about is the difference in mentalities. I myself think - maybe all imported lovers behave that way? But, judging by your own letter, no. In previous relationships, you did not pay, regardless of what country your lover was made.
And the third one - I believe in the so-called “female chuyka”. Sometimes we can meet an almost perfect man - young, gallant, handsome. But an inner voice whispers: don't, go away, don't have anything with him. And, as a rule, they warn us for a reason.
Sometimes such a spark jumps through that a woman simply grabs a man by the scruff of his neck and happily drags him to the hotel. And at this moment she does not care about all the prejudices and conventions of the world. It seems to me that this is the most correct, most honest relationship. More honest than those where you have to persuade yourself. I can see that you are in doubt, and this person does not “blow your mind”. Your feminine senses are worried. How to proceed with this information is up to you.
And what do you advise a lady, friends?
