Not the way we wanted: 5 mistakes people regret at the end of their lives
'29.09.2020'
Source: Life hacker
This list will help those who still have time to change everything, writes Lifehacker.
Nurse Bronnie Weir from Australia has been caring for hopeless patients for the last 12 weeks of their lives. She wrote down the most common life mistakes that patients reported and posted them on the blog Inspiration and Chai.
1. Do not dare to live life the way you want
Many today build their lives around the expectations of others. In any area, they prefer what their partners or society approves.
As a result, such people meet the expectations of everyone - parents, teachers, acquaintances - but they themselves feel constant pressure. They feel cornered and unhappy most of the time.
How to avoid mistakes
Stay true to yourself. If you have the courage to live your life the way you want, you will surely face criticism and disagreement. Calmly listen to advice and other people's opinions, but if they do not coincide with yours, do not pay much attention to them.
Just as others have the right to speak their mind, you have the right to disregard them. You don't live to please anyone. So don't be afraid to ruin your relationship with dissenting people.
2. Too much work
In modern society, it is customary to drown in work. People are more busy now than at any other time in history. Yes, the situation of workers in factories at the beginning of the XNUMXth century was much worse, but then they had no choice, but we do.
Parents rarely see their children and shift the care of them onto the shoulders of grandmothers, grandfathers or nannies. People do not have time for relationships and other personal affairs, career is always a priority, it rises above everything else.
Yes, work provides a livelihood, but for some people it becomes the main parameter of self-identification.
How to avoid mistakes
Determine your priorities. If you don't have time for a relationship, it means that they are not in your first place. If you skip classes in the gym, then your physical shape is not so important to you, even if you say otherwise.
Each person has 24 hours a day, no more, no less. This is how much time per day successful entrepreneurs like Bill Gates, financial tycoons like Warren Buffett, famous athletes like Serena Williams, or television celebrities like Oprah Winfrey. It's just that someone spends every day productively, and someone complains that they are not doing anything.
Think about what you want to spend your time on, and make an informed choice. What do you value most in life? Are you spending your time in line with your priorities? If you answered no to the last question, your desires and actions do not match. Fix it.
On the subject: 20 secrets of happy female destiny from psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky
3. Not being able to express your feelings
Have you ever tried to forget a person and your feelings for him just because you were afraid to open up? If so, then you are not alone. There are indeed many people in the world who are not alone because they are unattractive. No, they are educated, beautiful, interesting in communication, but closed to the senses. They systematically miss out on opportunities to meet new people and expand their social circle.
For the sake of comfort and peace of mind, they abandon any attempt to start a relationship, finding millions of reasons why this person is "not the right one", "not for me" and so on.
How to avoid mistakes
It is better to regret what has been done than about missed opportunities. Or maybe you won't have to regret it at all. Open up.
First, it will immediately feel better for you. Second, you will know if your feelings are mutual or not. Even if you get a refusal, it will be easier to come to terms with this and forget about the person forever, than to suffer the whole life with the question: "What if? .."
After all, ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen when you confess your feelings? You will be refused (most likely in a polite manner), and you will simply realize that this is the wrong person.
And if your feelings are mutual, you will get an unforgettable experience, a bonus to which will be pride in your own courage.
4. Lose contact with your friends
It seems to us that friendship is something eternal. That she will stay anyway, even if we don't pay enough attention to her. Therefore, we easily sacrifice friendly meetings for the sake of work, we cancel get-togethers because of romantic dates and other important matters. And then we regret our lost friends.
How to avoid mistakes
Instead of waiting for friends to ask you to meet, take the first step. Perhaps they are also waiting for you to call or write, invite them to spend time together.
If your efforts are unsuccessful, people may just have different priorities. In this case, you will not regret moving away from them, because you have done everything to prevent this from happening.
On the subject: 12 ways to change your life for the better if you are completely exhausted
5. Don't allow yourself to be a happy person
Are you deeply unhappy? Do you complain all the time about the troubles in life? Are you talking about the things you don't have and the opportunities you missed instead of enjoying what you have?
Too many people feel unhappy about where they should be and what they should have in order to be happy. Moreover, many of these sufferers live in comfortable conditions, have a stable job, a decent income, a healthy social environment and an excellent family.
However, the feeling of happiness does not depend on material well-being. It depends on the person's opinion of what it means to be happy.
How to avoid mistakes
Realize that happiness is everyone's choice. Many people believe that it depends on some factors. They think they will be happy if they achieve this, the other, the third, if their needs are met.
But happiness does not depend on achievements and does not come with them or after them. Happiness is something that you can experience right now if you allow yourself to do it.
There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path.
What do you regret? Share in the comments.
