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They do not consider it 'old-born' and do not meddle with advice: what surprises me with motherhood in the USA


Source: "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen

Author of the channel "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen - American mother. What is motherhood in the USA: what aspects admire, and what infuriate, she told from her own experience.

Photo: Shutterstock

Conscious Maternity

In the US, the decision to give birth to a child is balanced. The society does not put pressure on youth. Well-wishers do not warn that the watch is ticking. The older generation does not look reproachfully: all of you are doing nonsense, it’s time to settle down, to plant seven in shops. And also:

  • to get an education,
  • To find a job,
  • slightly or substantially climb the career ladder,
  • decide on housing
  • go through fire, water and copper pipes with a boyfriend,
  • paint over the first gray hair and
  • start using wrinkle cream.

And here it is, it's time to get offspring: from 30 to 40 years.

And no one will call you "old-born" in America. I myself gave birth at 31, I checked it on my own experience.

Work or decree is the question

There are no state policies regarding pregnant women and mothers in our usual sense in the USA. That is, at seven months you can’t wag your tail, go on maternity leave and relax in a cozy home environment, preparing for the appearance of the baby. Well, if you do not give birth in the workplace.

On average, after six weeks, the same workplace will already be trumpeting the need to return to the machine. Of course, you can always abandon a career in favor of the family.

On the subject: How to prepare for the birth of a child in the United States, if you do not have money

However, firstly, not every cell of society can afford the loss of one of the earners. Secondly, this society as a whole with a greater understanding refers to working mothers than to those who choose to spend all their time with a child.

More than once they looked at me askance, wondering why my child was a year or two, and I am still at home with him.

What does aunt say?

All childhood age crises in the United States are experienced quite simply. In the sense that society does not expect super power from you, and also will not crawl towards you with its advice and comments.

For example, when my child fell into a single puddle all over Los Angeles and yelled heartbrokenly, not wanting to roll out of it, passersby smiled at me with maximum sympathy.

No kind aunt will intimidate a child by taking him with him now. No evil aunt will break out in a tirade about which ill-bred children have gone and what their parents are worthless.

On the subject: The purpose of the trip - childbirth: what you need to know about the abolition of baby tourism in the USA


Of course, for the most part, the feelings that motherhood brings to any woman are determined, first of all, by the mother’s inner world and the situation in the family. However, the environment leaves its mark and either helps to cope with difficulties, or depreciates joyful moments.

Only one thing is unshakable regardless of the country, time and other circumstances - the mother's love for the child.

Original column published in column "Queen in the USA" on Yandex.Zen

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